To hand my notice in..

[snowinlove123]

I've worked part time since my youngest (who's 2) was a few months old. I've been at my current job around 6 months.
I'm considering handing my notice in and being a SAHM for a year or 2. I hate having to drag her out of bed before it's even light to get her to nursery before I start work, I don't enjoy the job and for 2 days it's only £700.
Mentally it's on my mind all the time thinking how I hate it. DH has her the second day while he works from home and said it's getting increasingly more difficult with her being more demanding. I wouldn't want her to be in nursery 2 days. It wouldn't be worth it.
Dh says he'd be supportive of me if I wanted to have a break. He said the money saved on childcare I could just keep for myself. I pay no bills or anything towards the house. The £700 just goes in my bank and I spend it on whatever.
It's a job that's in demand as it's so badly paid and women walked out in drones over lockdown. For example I had a 7 year break from this job and walked straight back into it.

What would you do?

Life is too short OP. You can always return to work when your DC goes to school. That’s only in 2/3 years. In the meantime you can look around at retraining or other careers you will enjoy more.

My husband is the stay at home parent. Whilst I technically pay all the bills, it's all paid into the joint account and it's our money as I only earn and work based on him doing all childcare.

I would be very vary of not working and having an ''allowance'' if that's the case... that's not partnership especially when one person is making all the financial sacrifice.

I wouldn't worry about what others would do. Clearly, you don't want to do it and can manage without the income.

Exactly. Op would do well to take time out to improve her work opportunities though.

The OP can get her stamp paid while she has a child under 5, so she will still get the state pension. The amount of private pension you can build up working two days a week in a minimum wage job is not really worth bothering about.

Can he not change his office day and swap to wfh to facilitate this?

I'll grant you, it wasn't easy working FT with three and I only managed because my job was flexible with start/finish times. DH somehow always worked too far away so I had to do drop offs and pick ups.

Honestly, you need to do something now about that pension situation. You will be up shit creek without a paddle in 30 years' time! I don't know how you can facilitate that around your family finances but it's so important.

I practically worked for my pension contributions when all of mine were in childcare but I am so very glad now!

A woman looking after her children is not being "kept", hth.

I would never give up my job and be financially dependent upon a man. It's so risky. At least consider retraining if you are going to hand your notice in? You could use the time to train for a career that makes you happier.

Sorry, I meant that LSA/TA jobs are shockingly poorly paid @wings

Are you a dental nurse by any chance?
Only asking as you’ve mentioned women leaving in droves, poorly paid and CPD.
If I’d had the chance to be a SAHM for a couple of years I’d have jumped at it. If you can do without the wage go for it!

Enjoy your baby! Loads of years to work. I took a three year career break best thing I did! Gone back full time now to make up pension contributions. Presume finances and property shared etc

@Mumof2NDers Yes! How did you guess? Are you a dental nurse too?
Yes I think I'm going to hand my notice in. If I decide I prefer having a wage I've got an old manager who said she can guarantee me a seasonal job at her tearooms.

If you can and won’t miss it, quit. I work because I do genuinely enjoy it and it’s a good income. If I didn’t enjoy it, and the money wasn’t essential to our household, I’d quit and spend the time with my kids in a heartbeat. It’s such a short period in the grand scheme of it, before school and everything.

It was the women leaving in droves that gave it away, I believe it’s something like 7000 have come off the register in the last 3 years!
Ive been a dental nurse for 36 years but tbh in your position I don’t think I’d bother. With the retention fee, the CPD and the low wage coupled with the stress….
sack it off. Enjoy the time with your little one x

@Mumof2NDers It's horrendous isn't it, they are literally crying out for dental nurses. I've had a few days off with the kids being unwell etc and they've been so short staffed they've had to pay £20 an hour or whatever it is for a locum! So I do feel guilty leaving, but it's just so much stress.

I also think for £11.25 an hour, paying £120 or whatever it is this year for the GDC, and the hours I'm spending having to do CPD etc out of work time, it's actually making me drop below minimum wage per hour.

My colleague was offered £10.50ph when the minimum wage went to £10.44 and she's a bloody good nurse, how terrible is that!

I originally left when my eldest DD was born in 2018, but I've quickly realised why I decided not to go back to it!

I don't want to leave myself without a wage but it's starting to affect me out of work, it's always on my mind x

Everyone is different. I don't think a man looking after me messes with my self esteem or pride. Hell, I keep telling my partner when his business picks up I'm leaving work and staying home!

I’m honestly struggling to understand how 700£ for two days work is being spoken of as spare change. Sounds like you are ridiculously wealthy and if you can easily step back into this work in a few years time then leave.

However, if I’ve misunderstood the financial situation - I’d say think through the finances carefully. There is a long term cost to being out of the workforce - at least where I am - especially in terms of retirement income. Returning to work can be challenging, and mean starting as a junior despite being older. Crunch the numbers and think what works for your family but also for you as an individual.

@Anahenzaris I get £700 a MONTH for working 2 days a week - so £700 so 8 days work on average. It's £11.25 an hour. I didn't work it very well x

Didn't *word it very well! I need sleep!

Still surprised in this day and age women are happy to be "kept" and not want to contribute for their own self esteem and pride

When you marry well you have choices. You aren’t being ‘kept’ you are in a fortunate position to raise your own children. Not many woman have that luxury.

You’re married and are making a good contribution to your family.

I knew you were a DN too it’s an absolute scandal the pay/responsibility you guys have.
honestly, leave, you’ll walk into another practice if you want to go back to it later.
or join a locum agency, much better pay, pick and choose when to work.

do make sure everything is a-ok with your husbands pay/mortgage/your access to money though. You’re taking a career risk/cut in pension for tfw good

Of the family. Don’t be hard done by. Good luck!

@Guest234562 have you been a dental nurse too? I worked in catering in and off after having my DC and I genuinely would come home with more money, no bloody GDC costs or CPD.. and I didn't dread going to work. The only reason I went back into it was because I wanted my weekends back.
The practice and people are lovely (apart from they could definitely pay more) but it's the job itself.. it's not for me.

And I want to be able to have my bloody nails done again! 😂

See that bugs me. You’re paid £11 odd an hour yet they pay £20 an hour for a locum.
When will (most) dentists realise if they paid their nurses more they might just stay!
The practice I work at have, over the last couple of years realised if they get good nurses they need to pay them a decent wage to keep them!
I’ve worked with the same dentist for 36 years, since leaving school. We’re also very fortunate that our practice manage was a dental nurse first and still thinks like a dental nurse .
I think there will be another large exodus in April when minimum wage goes up to £11:44 as a lot if DN’s will find themselves on minimum wage. Who’s gonna jump through all the hoops when you can earn the same or more working in a supermarket?!🤷‍♀️

How judgemental.

Not all relationships are the same.

I was a SAHM for 9 years.

My husband supported our family financially and I supported our family by being at home to look after the kids, do the school run, cook, generally keep the household ticking over. I also avoided us paying an arm and a leg for someone else to look after the kids.

And gasp we weren't married for half of that time. We are married now.

He supported me going to college in the evening and retraining and now I'm working part time now all the kids are in FT school.

Long term plan is for me to be working FT once fully qualified and then we will both contribute financially and physically to the running of household.

Not all men are out to leave their partner or wife high and dry and not all women are feckless and lazy and just want to slob around watching Peppa pig all day being 'kept'.