AIBU to worry about the hold alcohol has on the UK?

[whyhere]

Prompted by a thread about an alcohol-free wedding, and some of the comments therein ('boring.... wouldn't go.... take a hip-flask....'), it seems to me that the need for/expectation of alcohol has really taken a grip in this country. Can people really not enjoy anything without alcohol? Is it really impossible to create a soap scene without alcohol being involved (yes, EE, I'm looking at you!)?

Anyone doing dry January? (Full disclosure - come from a family of alcoholics and have been sober for around fifteen years.)

No I can't say a wedding without alcohol would have a great atmosphere really. Most people who drink alcohol aren't alcoholics

I rarely drink (maybe one drink every couple of weeks) but would find a dry wedding very boring. Alcohol is a good social lubricant if not drunk to excess. However I do find the amount of binge drinking that goes on in this country quite excessive generally so in that sense I agree with your point.

Alcohol itself isn't the problem. The problem is the normalization of binge drinking.

Of course there are people for whom alcohol is an issue but I don't think it's an issue for the whole of the UK!
You could pick anything about social occasions and say people are controlled or obsessed by it - what about food? A wedding without any food would be rubbish. Or music? Would you go to a party without music? Does that mean we are all obsessed and addicted to music?

Nothing wrong with a glass of wine at a party.

I probably drink too much but would not be bothered by a dry wedding

I do think it seems people can't let their hair down - dance and sing- overcome inhibitions -without a drink- which is sad

And I think it's partly driving the decline of nightclubs which is a shame ( as younger people tend to drink much less , but they can be so serious with it )

Totally agree. Dry wedding sounds fine to me!

I tend to agree with the OP.

I’m definitely not teetotal but don’t have a problem going to meals out / weddings / events where there’s no alcohol (and actually often even when there is alcohol served, I’ll be driving so can’t drink). The idea of sneaking alcohol into somewhere in a hip flask is really weird to me, assuming the posters on here aren’t teenagers. And refusing to go somewhere just because you can’t drink seems… odd.

I do wish more places did a better selection of non-alcoholic options. I’m thinking of a (adults-only) Christmas event I went to where due to the location at least one person in every party would have been driving but the only options were mulled wine, mulled cider and water. Don’t know why they couldn’t have done a mulled apple or berry juice, but there you go.

Most people can drink without it being problematic. It temporarily enhances the mood and is a great social lubricant, particularly helpful if you’re at a wedding with many people to interact with.

I don’t personally get a lot of people’s obsession with food, i.e. wedding threads with posters focusing on how awful a wedding was because they didn’t like the food, thought they should have been given more food, wanted food at a different time etc. There’s more to life. But I’ve never thought of starting a thread about food’s grip on the nation and why people can’t do anything nice without food involved!

If the food was good, an alcohol free wedding wouldn't bother me at all!
I agree that alcohol is a massive thing in our country. And I'm Scottish.

I wouldn't mind - and would respect - a dry wedding as a guest but wouldn't choose to host one. I'm fairly indifferent to alcohol, probably have 15 or so drinks a year (usually things that are quite specific like mulled wine, Baileys hot choc, champagne at a wedding). I don't have any family with substance issues or even who "like a drink" so there's no weight attached to alcohol at all for me.

Lots of our friends have a bottle of wine on a Friday night as a regular "treat", my treat is a Pizza Hut and / or a Kit Kat Chunky so I don't really think one is particularly worse than the other. I would never ever drink (even a half of cider) and drive though, that is a red flag for me and I would end friendships over it.

Off-topic but cocaine use is becoming more common even in the suburban Midlands... unlike alcohol I am incredibly judgey about it due to the exploitative supply chain.

I have never been to an alcohol free wedding, that would be very strange in my social/ family circle. But not going, leaving early, taking hip flasks…. That’s just rude.

But I am doing dry Jan as have definitely let my consumption creep up to dangerous levels over Xmas. NYE I counted 15 units, week leading up to it must have had over 40 units in total. So I am trying to reframe things. Listened to Over the Influence podcast yesterday with William Porter and it was enlightening.

Surely it’s a dry wedding for a reason and it’s sad the other guests aren’t respecting it.
I agree with your point, OP. I see it around me and in my own behaviour sometimes. Being pregnant then having to socialise with strangers whilst with baby on mat leave really highlighted to me the point you’re making

I agree OP. But you will find people are very defensive about their consumption of a poisonous antiseptic.
(Nothing against people who drink, I sometimes wish I could tolerate a glass of wine!)

I think what's more worrying is how an increasing number of adults are addicted to their phone and don't recognise it as that.

I am addicted to my phone

Not being able to overcome inhibitions isn't 'sad' it's evolutionary.

People like a drink to relax and turn off our reptilian brains for an evening.

Its not new though. A large part of our culture is around drinking. From sharing a pint after work, to champagne toasts on good news, to a glass of wine with dinner.

People are obsessed with alcohol. I’ve never been a drinker and am forever being asked when I go out why I am not drinking. I drink about once, maybe twice a year. When I tell people that they think I am either lying or have an issue with it - they can’t believe it’s for any other reason. Drives me mad. People projecting their own drink issues onto me is how it feels (eg they have to drink to relax, so therefore are mistrustful of anyone who doesn’t feel the need to do this) It’s weird.

A wedding is a celebration and for some it is the chance to celebrate and have a few glasses of wine / beer etc. Most people can sensibly enjoy alcohol without getting drunk.

A dry wedding sounds miserable to me.

I’ve been to an alcohol free wedding and it was fine, but then I grew up in a family who rarely drank alcohol. Some people are very reliant on it to have a good time, which is sad, in my opinion.

Every year at school, we had a ceilidh at Christmas where people seemed to have a great time. Then I progressed to university and every year, at the annual ball, there were people crying in the toilets, either because they were drunk, or because someone who’d been drinking had treated them badly.

Parties where there was lots of alcohol often ended with people so drunk they were ill. Parties with plenty of food and things to do always seemed more enjoyable and ended with less drama.

I guess it takes more effort to have a fun party where there’s no alcohol, but alcohol ruins many an occasion, especially for those with relatives who have an abusive relationship with alcohol. I guess, other than a hangover, those who abuse others when drunk don’t remember or care.

Unfortunately, it’s so much a part of the culture in the UK, including getting drunk, rather than just moderate drinking with food, that it’s not likely to change.

I don't drink at all because I don't enjoy it - don't like either the taste or the effects - and you would not believe how much of an issue other people have with it.

IMO if you can't dance, chat to people and have fun at a wedding without booze then that's pretty sad and I feel sorry for you.

I think alcohol in moderation is fine. However we seem to have lost sight of what ‘moderation’ means.

There was a lot of talk about saving the NHS during covid. One of the best things we could all do is cut back on alcohol. It would drastically reduce the numbers in A&E and reduce a number of other health conditions.

I used to enjoy alcohol at the level much of the country does. It’s only when I cut back and looked from the outside that I saw how ingrained heavy drinking is in U.K. culture. It was quite an eye opener.

A number of people also seem to be waking up to this, and I know a number of colleagues and friends have cut out alcohol completely.

Im quite shy and rely on alcohol for that social ‘oil’ mentioned by a pp, so it is difficult to stick to one small glass of wine but I have found some methods to manage.

It's not alcohol per se but if you are going on a night out you want to drink things you like the taste of, I personally don't like sweet things ruling out nearly all non alcoholic drinks - at home I drink herbal tea (can't have caffeine) or water but on a special occasion I like wine, beer or a g&t - I don't see what the issue is, I like them and have no issues with alcohol

I don't think alcohol has a 'hold' over the UK. I think it's an important part of the culture which goes all the way back to the Saxon and Viking cultures which invaded the UK and brought a big drinking culture with them. Maybe the earlier Celts also had a big alcohol culture too, we don't know much about that.

If you look at rates of alcohol-related deaths in say Russia, there's other cultures where it's more pernicious. Or, say, in the UAE where alcoholism is a big problem but it has to be 'hidden' becauase of religious-cultural reasons. Or the huge salarymen drinking culture in Japan. Or the pernicious problems of alcoholism in the oppressed Native American cultures.

Studies show that Boomers and Gen X and older millenials are the last of the big drinkers. Gen Z and Gen A are drinking less and less. The Economist reviewed a Cambridge study which suggested that social media is the cause of this - younger people don't want to appear drunk in pics and want to be conscious of their actions throughout the night as they know it'll be on social media. I don't know whether this is true or not!

So, I think it's more nuanced than your OP suggests but I don't think the UK is particularly terrible for alcoholism when seen in context of other cultures.

I also think most British people would expect to be able to drink at a wedding.

And I do think (which was the original post) that the organisers of a dry wedding should tell their guests so that they don't arrange hotel rooms or expensive taxis when they could drive! I personally drive to concerts and don't drink for the convenience, but I choose in full knowledge

Why would it be miserable? It's a celebration and a happy day. I've been to Muslim weddings which were far from miserable!