AIBU to worry about the hold alcohol has on the UK?

[whyhere]

Prompted by a thread about an alcohol-free wedding, and some of the comments therein ('boring.... wouldn't go.... take a hip-flask....'), it seems to me that the need for/expectation of alcohol has really taken a grip in this country. Can people really not enjoy anything without alcohol? Is it really impossible to create a soap scene without alcohol being involved (yes, EE, I'm looking at you!)?

Anyone doing dry January? (Full disclosure - come from a family of alcoholics and have been sober for around fifteen years.)

This

Lots of people at weddings are designated drivers and don't drink. Seems odd to pick on weddings for obsession with alcohol, Friday night out getting thrown out of pubs, teenage girls legless on the pavement, that is pretty horrible. A couple of drinks at a celebration not so much.

I think though you are confusing two things. Yes there are some people who are problem drinkers, drink several times a week, cannot possibly imagine going a few days without a bottle of wine. There are undeniably people like this who are the sort of people who pour scorn on those who don't share their habit. But there are lots of other people who associate drinking with a "special occasion" - they could go weeks or months without having any alcohol at all, but want to have a couple of glasses of champagne or pints of beer at a wedding.

Having a dry wedding is very unusual unless it's for religious reasons because this is the sort of special event which most people want to mark with a glass of wine. This is not particular to the UK, you would find alcohol being drunk at weddings across Europe and further afield.

I do not drink very much at all, glass of wine on Christmas Day, time before that was October, but I would still think it odd that a wedding was dry. Not because people are unable to enjoy without booze, but because it's going against a very long standing social convention.

Great post. Agree with all you say.

On the evolving habits of younger generations, there are noticeably more 0% alcohol drinks on sale in supermarkets and venues these days too, with better taste.

YANBU. I used to regularly drink too much and rarely do now, but certainly overdid it a bit over Christmas and am doing Dry January. I think the people saying that not everyone who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic are missing the point. You can tick many boxes of being at least a slightly problem drinker without being close to being an alcoholic.

It would be very naïve (or disingenuous) to suggest that people who drink alcohol are divided into those who are alcoholics and those who like a couple of drinks occasionally. The fact that so many people would be appalled by the idea of a dry wedding is probably not great. Let's face it, most of those people are appalled because weddings=getting a bit drunk, if not hammered.

It hasn’t ‘taken a hold’. Alcohol has always been a huge part of our culture; it goes back thousands of years. This is nothing new.

My ex was an alcoholic and I have considerable experience of being around problem drinkers (not my family) so I’m not naive about this subject by any means. But the vast majority of people do not have a drink problem. They simply don’t. The fact that people are used to celebrating weddings with alcohol doesn’t indicate that alcohol has suddenly ‘taken a hold’ of the nation.

I also think it says something that many members of Gen X and Boomers would be utterly horrified at the idea of smoking the odd joint (which I also don't do), but think nothing of knocking back a bottle of wine at the weekend.

You don't have to be an alcoholic to be drinking too much. The effects of alcohol on the body are well documented, and not just large amounts.

You do know that the original 'water into wine' was because the wedding was running low, don't you? This is not a new or UK thing.

But what is wrong with getting a bit drunk? It’s possible to feel pleasant effects from alcohol without behaving inappropriately.

It's ridiculous to not be able to go to a wedding without alcohol.

I think as a society our attitude to alcohol is hugely contradictory - it's celebrated (let the fun be-GIN etc) and condemned in equal measure. We encourage excess and then disparage those who fall victim to it.

With the alcohol free wedding thread, I think the issue was that the guests hadn't been told this was the case before they booked expensive hotels.

Five months into being alcohol free as I don’t have a healthy relationship with it and I can assure you that the OP is correct. People don’t want to admit it but I can’t tell you how many times people have commented and said they couldn’t do it, not even for a week. The fact that people make such a huge deal of having month off says it all really. It’s actually bloody hard to stop.

Luckly I’m now free of alcohol and it no longer has any interest for me. Life is so much better. And I never drank gallons, I wasn’t drinking myself into a stupor. I’m talking, socially acceptable levels of consumption - half a bottle of wine on a Friday. A few classes of wine with lunch on Saturday and Sunday. And yes, it is harder to let your hair down in the same way initially but that soon changes. Life is better.

Tl be fair to OP there, the moan was just about that it would change plans. Drinks - stay over, no drinks, can drive easily home.

Alcohol free events needn't be boring. I went to many since DH's side are muslims. Bar 1 all were nice and fun. And I am a drinker (who can put pints away better than many men)

But this is a fundamental misunderstanding. Of course people are physically capable of going to a wedding without alcohol. The point is that for millennia, the social convention has been to celebrate an occasion like this with a drink. That is why it seems so odd.

Yes there is a terrible attitude towards alcohol in this country. It’s really apparent once you spend any time in other countries. I also agree with pp that you can be a problem drinker without being what we may describe as a full blown ‘alcoholic’. People normalise heavy and problematic drinking because ‘it’s ok I’m not an alcoholic’.

I don't think you should target the whole country. I don't live in the UK and would find an alcohol free wedding, for a couple who do usually drink alcohol, quite strange.

Unless ...

It's for cultural or religious reasons. Then of course no alcohol would be available at all. Or, if a close member of the wedding party is a recovering alcoholic for example.

These two instances would not be stated on invites as cultural reasons we all just know there wouldn't be alcohol. Example 2, it would feel wrong to add it to an invite if someone is struggling.

Most alcoholic drinks are dry or bitter, whereas most non-alcoholic ones are sweet.

This is a real issue: most people don't know what to drink in a non-alcohol setting. Countries in Europe have a far wider variety of alcohol free beer now, but it is still not prevalent in the UK

And? They can get over it and not drink.

I don’t drink much so it wouldn’t be an issue for me but YABU to think alcohol is an issue with the UK. Plenty of other countries drink far more.

Not everyone is like this. Im in my late 20s and my group of friends is a good mix of people who enjoy a drink, people who don’t drink for religious reasons, they’re driving, pregnant or because they just don’t want to. There are also people who will have one or two but never more than that. Nobody has to justify why they are or aren’t drinking.

I hate being around drunk people. Whatever people on here say most are either cringe inducing or just antisocial pricks. If you need alcohol to have a good time with friends/ family you need new friends. Family I would just avoid, not difficult if you are an adult.
I'd love alcohol free events and celebrations. I would be able to relax and enjoy it.

I'm doing dry January in the hope it kickstarts a more active, healthier year. I start a new job which is a step up and will be a challenge so need to have my head straight for that.

My skin and weight will hopefully benefit from more water and better sleep too!

A dry wedding wouldn't bother me but I wouldn't pay the £300 for a hotel if I could drive home after.

I agree with you. Being drunk and tipsy has become so normalised here that people don't even see anything wrong with it.
A few years ago I sort New Year's Eve in Portugal - out in the main square in Lisbon. There were thousands of people there but I didn't see a single person there who looked drunk. People were opening champagne at midnight but all appeared completely sober.
I've also been to many bars and nightclubs in Portugal and Spain (the ones frequented by the locals, not British tourists!) and again, not a single person was drunk. It seemed so civilised!
Compare this to a recent walk around Leeds City Centre at 7pm on a Saturday night. I was with my children and we saw women vomiting in the street, a drunk woman sobbing, a drunk woman bending over and exposing her entire arse, drunk men fighting, lots of drunk people shouting. All of this behaviour was due to excessive alcohol. None of it was abnormal for a British city on a Saturday evening but I can't say it's pleasant to see!

Honestly I’ve been to an alcohol free wedding and it was quite boring, to be honest. Just no atmosphere.

I’m doing an extended Dry January (aiming for 10 weeks) this year.

Most people who enjoy alcohol aren’t alcoholics and can easily cut down/control their intake.

If it had no atmosphere then it must have been populated by a bunch of extremely dull people with no personalities.

Those of us who frequent Asian weddings which are often alcohol free will testify that atmosphere is present in spades.