AIBU to worry about the hold alcohol has on the UK?

[whyhere]

Prompted by a thread about an alcohol-free wedding, and some of the comments therein ('boring.... wouldn't go.... take a hip-flask....'), it seems to me that the need for/expectation of alcohol has really taken a grip in this country. Can people really not enjoy anything without alcohol? Is it really impossible to create a soap scene without alcohol being involved (yes, EE, I'm looking at you!)?

Anyone doing dry January? (Full disclosure - come from a family of alcoholics and have been sober for around fifteen years.)

Same here.

I don't know about other countries but certainly in the UK the alcohol section in a supermarket, my local Sburys for example, the alcohol aisles are by far the biggest section of any one product in the whole store.. I mean how come? I find it extremely annoying now since I noticed.

Someone said to me recently that if alcohol was only recently invented it would be banned, made me think!

No, younger gens in the UK are drinking much less.

But the people you saw in Portugal were drinking. And I doubt very much they were limiting themselves to one single drink. So the problem is clearly not the consumption of alcohol in itself, is it? Don’t forget that amongst all the messy antisocial drunks you saw in the UK there would be thousands of others who had had a few drinks and were behaving just as appropriately as the Portuguese.

In my experience there is a lot of down time for guests at weddings (not all, just most I've been too). Waiting around while the pictures get taken etc. If I have taken time to buy a gift, book a room, get an outfit, even sometimes having to book annual leave off, I would like a glass of fizz or a glass of wine while waiting about. It is my preference.

I fear the day that the caffeine supply runs out personally

Drunk/tipsy people are as insufferable as people on cocaine TBH.

I am teetotal but I must admit it didn't even occur to me to make my own wedding a dry one. That possibly shows what a grip it has!

Every guest though would have drunk alcohol.

At work we do go out at lunchtime to a pub for drinks when we want to socialise. There are a lot of us, so going for a coffee which most would prefer, isn't a practical option as no coffee shop would allow us to reserve space even if it had the room.

I hate weddings, dry or otherwise. People love to drink though because it makes them feel confident, funny and clever and they want other people to drink too as they need an audience.

I think the issue is not just the alcohol, it’s the absolute certain belief the majority hold that you can’t have fun without it, and teetotallers are boring…

I’m teetotal and if people find out they turn into pushers- oh go on, have a drink, loosen up, have some fun for once. If I refuse they will start to exclude me, assume I will want to go home early, that I’ll stop them enjoying their night, turn into the behaviour police or something.

the assumption is a dry wedding will be boring- but as pp have said Muslim weddings for example are not. People need to examine why they are so resistant to the very idea and immediately assume a dry event will be as interesting as watching paint dry.

a lot of drinkers also don’t realise that while they think alcohol turns them into a witty, social, interesting version of themselves, it most often doesn’t. And no, it doesn’t magically turn you into a fantastic dancer either 😂

YANBU. I feel sorry for people who think you can’t have fun without alcohol because they must be so boring.

I do find it odd and a bit depressing. I do drink occasionally but I don’t get drunk, and I find nothing makes an evening boring more quickly than drunkenness.

In my experience good times come from good company, and you simply can’t have a really enjoyable conversation with someone who is three sheets to the wind.

Interesting to think the zoomers drink less because want to look drunk on sm. I am aware of a fair few of my fifteen year old daughter’s peer group being ‘drunk’, according to her anyway. I suppose only time will tell about this.

The problem there is the structure of the day and the actual wedding, not the lack of alcohol. For me, the problem is waiting for 1-2 hours while the bridal pictures are being taken. Oh and another 2 hours for speeches. I'm teetotal so probably have a different perspective. A good wedding where guests are looked after is never boring.

*don’t want to look drunk on sm

Yes of course people in these other countries enjoy a drink but the point I'm making is they don't have the problematic relationship with alcohol that many Brits do.. They drink sensibly. Here it's normal and acceptable to get drunk, there it's not.
I feel uncomfortable being out with my kids in Leeds at 6.30/7pm on a Saturday night because of seeing people vomiting and shouting etc. In Portugal, Spain, Italy the atmosphere is completely different and safe because people appear sober and in control even if they've had a couple of glasses of wine. It's a shame we can't be like that in the UK - enjoying good wine but not to excess.

I’m teetotal and if people find out they turn not pushers- oh go on, have a drink, loosen up, have some fun for once

Maybe it's an age thing but my friends are not like that at all. I do drink - occasionally - but quite often will be the designated driver on a night out and stick to diet coke. There is no pressure at all from my friends to have a drink, but then we are all women in our late 40s/early 50s and are well past the drinking to get drunk stage.

I thought exactly the same when I read that wedding thread, OP.

Yes, of course guests should have been informed for a number of reasons.

But I think if we're going to start calling anyone sad and boring it's the people who can't get through a day without alcohol. I like chocolate, but I can do without it for a few days.

I actually give up alcohol January till November,.only drinking over Christmas. I've been doing that for the past 5 years. I have been to two dry weddings. One was amazing with lots of dancing, amazing hot food and lovely soft drinks. I stayed late to that one, and the people were so nice and friendly, I didn't reach for my phone once, nor missed the alcohol. However I went to another dry wedding and all the guests looked miserable, there wasn't any dancing by the adults and people were glued to their phones. It was awkward 😳 I was shocked at how much western people rely on alcohol as an confidence crutch. I did leave early because noone was talking and I felt uncomfortable.

@CoatOfArms my mother is teetotal (she doesn’t like the taste of most alcoholic drinks she’s tried) and the most pressure she gets is from people within a few years her own age i.e. people who are (now) in their 60s / 70s. Never from older or younger people for some reason. Perhaps there was a “golden drinking age” at some point?

Per capita, Portugal has higher alcohol consumption than the UK, and over a quarter of adults report binge drinking at least once a month. They also have one of the fastest growing rates of diagnosed alcohol dependency in Europe. It isn’t that nobody is getting drunk, it’s just that wealthy tourists tend not to see it in the places they travel, because Portugal remains quite a socially divided country.

I agree with this. Traditional UK weddings take SO long. There’s no reason for them to take up most of the day with huge stretches of down time!

I went to a wedding last year where the ceremony was at 4pm. The bride and groom had one hour of photographs during which there was a swing band and canapés for the guests, then they were back and it was straight up for the meal at about 6:30pm. It was SO much more enjoyable than weddings I’ve attended that start at 1pm (or, god forbid, 11am). The day flowed brilliantly, nobody got bored in the long downtime period, it was just a great day.

I think possibly the availability may be a factor. Do your supermarkets sell all alcohol 24/7? I posted upthread saying I'm not in the UK and we cannot buy any alcohol except wine at a supermarket. If we need to buy beer or spirits or anything other than wine, they can only be bought at a what we call a bottle store. So a shop that exclusively sells alcohol. And they have very strict opening and closing times.

As example, my ds was going out for Nye and wanted to get some beers. He didn't think about it well and as the day fell on a Sunday, he wasn't able to get any as he left it a bit late as they all have a 1pm closing.

I'm doing dry Jan, hoping to saunter with ease into Feb and March too...the thing with alcohol is, it's just as much life destroying drug as the rest. Yet its so readily available, its deemed odd to choose not to drink, its socially acceptable etc. Soaps promote it, cooking shows do...its all based around booze. I lost my sister to alcohol and have made the decision that its no good for me either.

look at the birthday cards for men on sale in our supermarkets - the majority seem to assume that adult men are drunken, and many cards for women seem to reference gin or prosecco. In my view this suggests that we, as a nation, have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol....

I understand what you are saying. However OP’s post was about whether we should be worried that British people appear unable to socialise without alcohol. That’s not the same as being worried that British people drink too much alcohol or behave badly after some drinks, unless you are saying that the only solution to “bad drunk” behaviour is to drink nothing at all?