Page 6 | Wedding invite with baby

Loopylambs · 2023-12-31T11:11:33+00:00

Extended family have been invited to a wedding , baby in our party will be nearly 1 . We found out from bride there will be no high chairs available. We contacted venue and they have agreed to now supply 3 high chairs .We told the bride , expecting her to let us have one of the high chairs as we had sorted but a few hours later she rang to say she’s allocated to other babies attending. AIBU to think as we sorted high chairs with venue we should be able to use one?

Bex5490 · 31/12/2023 14:38

Lol at the PPs suggesting that after agreeing to ruin her fancy outfit with the sticky hands of someone else’s baby, OP should go 1 step further and spend her own hard earned cash on some kind of travel high chair…

You lot must be way better friends to have than me because in OP’s shoes I am telling both bride and bridesmaid to jog the F on 😂

Namerequired · 31/12/2023 14:42

So she’s not supplying a high chair for the bridesmaids child, who already has to be looked after by someone else so she can do her duties for the bride? That on top of you being the one to organise it? I think the bride is very cheeky!!
Ask the child’s mother to arrange one for your use, bring it with you or get a travel one (the mum I mean, not you). Surely if someone’s looking after your child you would make it as easy as possible for them.

KnowledgeableMomma · 31/12/2023 14:47

I wouldn't be particularly bothered. A 1-year-old can sit on a lap, for goodness sake. When my daughter was very young, we had a travel high chair we used. We didn't expect any place we went to accommodate us (I'm including all things that babies need, not just a chair), we just made sure to bring our own.

AnneValentine · 31/12/2023 14:51

this was so far out of lane.

Mills86 · 31/12/2023 15:07

I’m on the fence. We provided as many high chairs as needed and saw it as part of being good hosts and hospitable BUT you sound very interfering which I would not appreciate. I can only assume the few they have are going to close family and friends or babies of an age when they can’t go on a knee or something.

Notonthestairs · 31/12/2023 15:07

Namerequired · 31/12/2023 14:42

So she’s not supplying a high chair for the bridesmaids child, who already has to be looked after by someone else so she can do her duties for the bride? That on top of you being the one to organise it? I think the bride is very cheeky!!
Ask the child’s mother to arrange one for your use, bring it with you or get a travel one (the mum I mean, not you). Surely if someone’s looking after your child you would make it as easy as possible for them.

Yep. Neither the bride or the mother of the baby appear to be bothered.

So maybe the baby should sit on its mother's lap for dinner.

SecondUsername4me · 31/12/2023 15:09

Notonthestairs · 31/12/2023 15:07

Yep. Neither the bride or the mother of the baby appear to be bothered.

So maybe the baby should sit on its mother's lap for dinner.

Show quote history

In fairness, the OP hasn't said anything g about the baby's mothers involvement. I assume the baby is her grandchild, so maybe she doesn't want to admit that her dd could be doing more to solve this

MiIIieee · 31/12/2023 15:20

Brides these days just seem to be a different gravy.

RampantIvy · 31/12/2023 15:25

Indeed @MiIIieee.
IMO the couple are also hosts as well as being the centre of attention, and should consider their guests requirements.

MiIIieee · 31/12/2023 15:30

@RampantIvy 100%. If they are going to invite babies they should make sure they are catered to.

Flossflower · 31/12/2023 16:15

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 12:14

Thanks for mixed opinions . To clarify even further , Bride said she was happy for us to contact venue about no high chairs , said it would be one less thing for her to sort out. Venue said they would pay for 3 high chairs to be used at wedding and future events. We are definitely expected to be at wedding meal into the evening.

We looked after our grandchild of a similar age at a wedding as both our child and their spouse was involved in the wedding party. Yes we had a high chair but I think you are under some illusion if you think you will be at the wedding with the child into the evening. The baby will be far too tired. We had a room with a cot on the site of the venue and when my grandchild went to sleep, my husband and I took it in turns to go to the evening do.

Original poster

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 16:23

The bride and bridesmaid are my nieces , from XDH side of family . All other close relatives can’t help as on top table. The
phrase “ never a good deed goes unpunished “ springs to mind . Helping them out but neither seem interested in resolving situation.

OP posts:

MargotBamborough · 31/12/2023 16:26

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 16:23

The bride and bridesmaid are my nieces , from XDH side of family . All other close relatives can’t help as on top table. The
phrase “ never a good deed goes unpunished “ springs to mind . Helping them out but neither seem interested in resolving situation.

How badly do you actually want to go to this wedding?

You could just decline the invitation.

OnLockdown · 31/12/2023 16:31

Are you in the US? Weddings have got out of hand. It's ridiculous that the bridesmaid or the baby's dad can't look after their own baby during the reception. Why not? What are they doing that is so important?

RampantIvy · 31/12/2023 16:34

If they aren't interested in solving this then you could just decline the invitation if you aren't bothered about going. Just say that if they can't provide for the baby you can't go.

Did they only invite you so that you could provide free childcare?

Bex5490 · 31/12/2023 16:51

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 16:23

The bride and bridesmaid are my nieces , from XDH side of family . All other close relatives can’t help as on top table. The
phrase “ never a good deed goes unpunished “ springs to mind . Helping them out but neither seem interested in resolving situation.

Pisstake if you ask me…

I think I would have preferred them just to cut the crap and ask me to stay home and babysit 🤷🏽‍♀️

SecondUsername4me · 31/12/2023 17:13

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 16:23

The bride and bridesmaid are my nieces , from XDH side of family . All other close relatives can’t help as on top table. The
phrase “ never a good deed goes unpunished “ springs to mind . Helping them out but neither seem interested in resolving situation.

Is the baby's dad not on the scene? Might be easier if they are separated if he has the baby all day - then the mum can enjoy herself and no one has to have a baby on their lap for the day.

LimeCheesecake · 31/12/2023 17:45

Send them the email I suggested - be clear you will only have the baby during the meal if a high chair is provided. Otherwise, the baby’s mother will have to deal. Be clear, you will hand the baby back as food is served. (And do it.)

Sugarfree23 · 31/12/2023 17:45

RampantIvy · 31/12/2023 16:34

If they aren't interested in solving this then you could just decline the invitation if you aren't bothered about going. Just say that if they can't provide for the baby you can't go.

Did they only invite you so that you could provide free childcare?

That has crossed my mind too they've invited you to provide childcare.

Op are the bride and bridesmaid sisters? Mum on the top table?

I really wouldn't want a baby on my knee eating when I'm wearing my good clothes.
My jeans I maybe wouldn't mind but not wedding get up that cost ££ and is probably dry clean only and stains easily.

DuploTrain · 31/12/2023 17:50

I would tell the baby’s mum (bridesmaid) that she will need to get a travel high chair thing to attach to a normal chair as you won’t be having her on your knee while you’re eating.

cansu · 31/12/2023 17:52

Just tell the child's mum that she will need to sort out an extra high chair if she wants you to look after child. Then drop it. It literally is not your issue to solve.

GreatGateauxsby · 31/12/2023 18:01

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 16:23

The bride and bridesmaid are my nieces , from XDH side of family . All other close relatives can’t help as on top table. The
phrase “ never a good deed goes unpunished “ springs to mind . Helping them out but neither seem interested in resolving situation.

Honestly they are your Ex husbands family

decline and the bride can get fucked.

pardon my french

SleepingStandingUp · 31/12/2023 18:33

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 11:24

Not my baby but I will be looking after as her Mother is bridesmaid and will be busy/ sitting at top table

Hang on so you're babysitting your EX husband nieces baby but the bride can't be arsed to give the baby somewhere to sit.

Why are you even going?? Why isn't ex doing the childcare?

Is he telling them you're childcare is conditional on the kid having a seat to sit in.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 31/12/2023 18:34

OP your update changes everything. These two are being absolutely despicable having you do all this run around. In my example earlier the bride, guest with child and person who brought the highchair are all good friends of mine so I wanted to make sure everyone and the little lady were all OK and comfortable. These two sound like selfish drama queens.

DanceMumTaxi · 31/12/2023 18:39

If you don’t get the high chair you should definitely refuse to help. Babies are messy. You’ll be covered in all sorts in your lovely wedding outfit, plus babies like to grab things - tablecloth, cutlery, glasses etc. if you’re close enough to the table to actually eat you won’t be able to stop the baby grabbing all sorts. It’ll just be miserable. If they (bride/bridesmaid) can’t sort out a high chair the baby’s mum or dad will have to be the one to deal with that.