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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding invite with baby

150 replies

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 11:11

Extended family have been invited to a wedding , baby in our party will be nearly 1 . We found out from bride there will be no high chairs available. We contacted venue and they have agreed to now supply 3 high chairs .We told the bride , expecting her to let us have one of the high chairs as we had sorted but a few hours later she rang to say she’s allocated to other babies attending. AIBU to think as we sorted high chairs with venue we should be able to use one?

OP posts:
WhateverMate · 31/12/2023 11:29

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 11:24

Not my baby but I will be looking after as her Mother is bridesmaid and will be busy/ sitting at top table

Then why on earth didn't the bridesmaid sort it out with the bride??

You've massively overstepped here.

ConflictedCheetah · 31/12/2023 11:29

WhateverMate · 31/12/2023 11:16

Oh God you've basically told her you didn't believe her so you rang to check! 🤦‍♀️

See if you can get a travel high chair, or just feed the baby in the buggy/on your knee.

Exactly! I can't believe OP just rang the venue to check on or change arrangements!

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 31/12/2023 11:31

I can't believe someone is expecting a guest to look after a baby that is not their own at a wedding and hasn't sorted out a high chair for them. I think I'd be saying you won't be able to look after the baby in that case. If you're hosting a wedding and have agreed that babies are coming then you make sure you cater for them. What's wrong with people?!

Tinkerbyebye · 31/12/2023 11:31

Good God I can’t believe the nasty comments on here

Op is obvs one of a few taking a baby, she has sorted high chairs but then been told by the bride who DID NOT sort anything for her guests (so no doubt was happy the kids needing high chairs didn’t have them and intents would gave to manage somehow) she’s not getting one. I would be pissed of as well

Op I would take a travelling high chair if you have one, otherwise it’s a case of managing on knees but I would be pissed of at the bride who was content to do sod all in the first place

SecondUsername4me · 31/12/2023 11:32

Op is obvs one of a few taking a baby

It's not her baby!

BonnieIou · 31/12/2023 11:32

Yeah the comments are crazy, full of Bridezillas.

Tinkerbyebye · 31/12/2023 11:33

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 11:24

Not my baby but I will be looking after as her Mother is bridesmaid and will be busy/ sitting at top table

@Loopylambs

i would be going to the mother and saying no high chair then I can’t look after the baby so you need to sort with the bride

Tinkerbyebye · 31/12/2023 11:34

SecondUsername4me · 31/12/2023 11:32

Op is obvs one of a few taking a baby

It's not her baby!

I know but if there are three high chairs provided and she isn’t getting one, regardless of whose baby she is looking after then there are obviously quite a few babies needing high chairs, hence the comment

WandaWonder · 31/12/2023 11:34

It's not your wedding you do understand that?

RampantIvy · 31/12/2023 11:35

I can't believe some of the unpleasant replies on here.
The OP is doing the wedding party a favour by babysitting the bridesmaid's baby.

Maybe she should tell the bride that as she won't accommodate her bridesmaid's baby she should look for another bridesmaid.

NotARealWookiie · 31/12/2023 11:36

This is very odd if it’s a real thread.

If it is OP, speak to the child’s mum and ask her to provide a high chair. The IKEA ones are easy to take places and the legs come off or there are boosters you can use but the child’s mum should give you any equipment you need.

chompargh · 31/12/2023 11:36

BonnieIou · 31/12/2023 11:32

Yeah the comments are crazy, full of Bridezillas.

I'm not a bridezilla. But it's not the right etiquette to go phoning a wedding venue and asking for changes without the bride(s) and or groom(s) first. They are paying for the event. They are the hosts.

RampantIvy · 31/12/2023 11:36

WandaWonder · 31/12/2023 11:34

It's not your wedding you do understand that?

You do understand that the baby's mum is a bridesmaid?

I agree that the mum needs to talk to the bride.

Catza · 31/12/2023 11:39

What does it have to do with you? It's between the bride and the baby's mother.

cornonthesnob · 31/12/2023 11:39

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 11:17

Sorry just to clarify . Bride said venue could not provide any high chairs at all . We contacted venue and they confirmed they had no high chairs but then agreed to purchase 3 for wedding and future events.

Cringe.

Sera1989 · 31/12/2023 11:49

The venue agreed to purchase the chairs? Or who is paying for the chairs? This is really for the baby's mum to sort out but I would have expected her child to be high up on the high chair list as she is a bridesmaid. But perhaps there are younger babies or other bridesmaids with babies. If I were you I would talk to the baby's mum and probably make my own arrangements for a place to sit baby.
When is the wedding?

NeatCompactSleeper · 31/12/2023 11:51

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 11:24

Not my baby but I will be looking after as her Mother is bridesmaid and will be busy/ sitting at top table

Strange how you waited until you were 3 posts in, to type this really quite relevant information.

SecondUsername4me · 31/12/2023 11:53

I don't get why you didn't just tell baby's mum she needed to sort a highchair out.

Failing that, baby can sit in it's stroller next to you at the table.

mumsytoon · 31/12/2023 11:53

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 11:17

Sorry just to clarify . Bride said venue could not provide any high chairs at all . We contacted venue and they confirmed they had no high chairs but then agreed to purchase 3 for wedding and future events.

Omg get over yourself. Will your child be scarred to sit on your lap for once and eat? And the damn cheek of you to then contact the venue?? I can't believe you did that.

mumsytoon · 31/12/2023 11:54

Even if you are minding someone's baby, this problem is for the parents to sort out not you! Can't believe you contacted the venue when it's not even your baby .

ForeverWinter · 31/12/2023 11:55

I'm surprised the venue were even prepared to discuss the details of someone elses wedding with you...

SecondUsername4me · 31/12/2023 11:56

I've been to plenty of weddings with dc and never even thought to ask anyone in advance about highchairs. I'd presume there would be one, and if not, baby would sit in stroller / on a knee.

upwardsonwards · 31/12/2023 11:57

Have you difficulty understanding responsibility and boundaries? This isn’t your baby, this is up to the baby’s parents to resolve. The bride explained about high chairs presumably to the baby’s parents. There are loads of other possible options, we had a travel baby seat we brought for ours when they were younger. You are crossing boundaries left, right and centre taking on things that are other people’s responsibility.

TempyBrennan · 31/12/2023 11:59

So the baby’s mum is important enough to be given a bridesmaid role but the baby isn’t even allowed a high chair?

have you checked with mum that she intends for baby (and you?) to stay into that part of the wedding?

Flossflower · 31/12/2023 12:01

You are massively overstepping. You can’t contact the venue if the wedding is not yours. You can get a very cheap high chair from ikea or Argos that you can take the legs off or you can get a travelling high chair or feed in the buggy.

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