Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding invite with baby

150 replies

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 11:11

Extended family have been invited to a wedding , baby in our party will be nearly 1 . We found out from bride there will be no high chairs available. We contacted venue and they have agreed to now supply 3 high chairs .We told the bride , expecting her to let us have one of the high chairs as we had sorted but a few hours later she rang to say she’s allocated to other babies attending. AIBU to think as we sorted high chairs with venue we should be able to use one?

OP posts:
MargotBamborough · 31/12/2023 13:24

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 11:24

Not my baby but I will be looking after as her Mother is bridesmaid and will be busy/ sitting at top table

Then surely this is for the bridesmaid to sort out with the bride? I don't understand your involvement.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 31/12/2023 13:35

LimeCheesecake · 31/12/2023 13:21

You need to make this the bridesmaids problem - and be clear the bride is being a dick - which she is.
Message to both:
“hi bridesmaid & bride, I know I said I’d look after (baby) at the wedding, but would need a high chair for baby to sit in for the meal. I called the venue and got them to buy 3 high chairs but bride tells me they have now been allocated to other children. I can only look after baby during the meal if there’s a chair provided for him/her, so can you two sort that between you, or else s/he’ll just have to sit on bridesmaid’s knee at the top table while I’m eating.”

fuck it, you’ve reached the limit of what you can do to sort this, and expecting you to feed someone else’s 1 year old on your knee when you are all dressed up is rude.

I would definitely do this

LimeCheesecake · 31/12/2023 13:41

@Loopylambs - you need to remember, you are doing the bride a favour, she doesn’t want the bridesmaids baby at the top table and also wants the bridesmaid sat at the top table, and wants the bridesmaid to not decline the invite for childcare reasons. You are enabling the bride to have the day (photos) she wants. She should be making it easy for you to do her this big favour. It is a favour to the bride, not the bridesmaid, who I’m sure would be happy to sit with her child.

a high chair being provided by the bride/venue is the price for the favour you are doing the bride. She can now sort it.

Notmetoo · 31/12/2023 13:44

WandaWonder · 31/12/2023 11:34

It's not your wedding you do understand that?

No but she is doing a huge favour for the bride by looking after the bridesmaid's baby during the wedding.
I don't understand all the negative comments. It's as though some people think Brides can do no wrong because it's their wedding. When in fact they are being bad hosts

pontipinemum · 31/12/2023 13:47

I think it is mad that the bride had re allocated the baby seats and you aren't getting one for the baby you're minding.

I don't think you are over stepping. I didn't have kids when I got married So sorting out high chairs wouldn't have crossed my mind (youngest child was 5 anyway)

MargotBamborough · 31/12/2023 13:49

Notmetoo · 31/12/2023 13:44

No but she is doing a huge favour for the bride by looking after the bridesmaid's baby during the wedding.
I don't understand all the negative comments. It's as though some people think Brides can do no wrong because it's their wedding. When in fact they are being bad hosts

Show quote history

So she needs to say to the bridesmaid, "Sorry, I can't look after your baby because no high chair is being provided."

Notmetoo · 31/12/2023 13:49

Catza · 31/12/2023 11:39

What does it have to do with you? It's between the bride and the baby's mother.

It's plenty to do with her isn't it if she has to eat her lunch with a wriggling baby that isn't hers on her lap!
She is doing a massive favour for the bride and she is the one who will be disadvantaged if there isn't a high chair

Dishwashersaurous · 31/12/2023 13:51

Just tell.the mum that you will.need a highchair to put baby in during meal.if you are going to look after her. Otherwise you won't be able to.

This is for the mother to sort

Humbugg · 31/12/2023 13:55

Being a travel high chair. You can buy them all over the place. They are like little cushions with straps.
get the mother of the baby to purchase or you buy as a gift?

gindreams · 31/12/2023 14:05

@cornonthesnob how pathetic to cringe at that

Sugarfree23 · 31/12/2023 14:11

Op I'd but a travel high chair. I also have a pocket sized sling thing that goes onto a standard chair and holds babies in.

However I do agree that you should be given a high chair and actually the bride should tell the venue how many she actually needs. I'm stunned at a venue not having any highchairs in the first place.

I'm assuming you are brides Auntie, mother of bridesmaid and granny to the baby.

GreatGateauxsby · 31/12/2023 14:11

Oh my word….

I missed that this ISNT EVEN YOUR CHILD

🤯🤯🤯🤯

wtaf???

this is utterly bizarre.

fuck that for a game of soldiers.

call the bridesmaid tell her the situation and say no high chair no free baby sitter. Can she either sort it out with the bride or venue OR find someone else to help her.

Bloom15 · 31/12/2023 14:12

LimeCheesecake · 31/12/2023 13:21

You need to make this the bridesmaids problem - and be clear the bride is being a dick - which she is.
Message to both:
“hi bridesmaid & bride, I know I said I’d look after (baby) at the wedding, but would need a high chair for baby to sit in for the meal. I called the venue and got them to buy 3 high chairs but bride tells me they have now been allocated to other children. I can only look after baby during the meal if there’s a chair provided for him/her, so can you two sort that between you, or else s/he’ll just have to sit on bridesmaid’s knee at the top table while I’m eating.”

fuck it, you’ve reached the limit of what you can do to sort this, and expecting you to feed someone else’s 1 year old on your knee when you are all dressed up is rude.

Agree with this

Floralsofa · 31/12/2023 14:16

Absolutely ridiculous, I wouldn't be helping out in that case.

HP89 · 31/12/2023 14:19

LimeCheesecake · 31/12/2023 13:21

You need to make this the bridesmaids problem - and be clear the bride is being a dick - which she is.
Message to both:
“hi bridesmaid & bride, I know I said I’d look after (baby) at the wedding, but would need a high chair for baby to sit in for the meal. I called the venue and got them to buy 3 high chairs but bride tells me they have now been allocated to other children. I can only look after baby during the meal if there’s a chair provided for him/her, so can you two sort that between you, or else s/he’ll just have to sit on bridesmaid’s knee at the top table while I’m eating.”

fuck it, you’ve reached the limit of what you can do to sort this, and expecting you to feed someone else’s 1 year old on your knee when you are all dressed up is rude.

This

NWQM · 31/12/2023 14:20

You are being kind enough to look after a baby for a member of the wedding party. High chairs are available but not for you. I really wouldn't do the looking after during the meal.

Katypp · 31/12/2023 14:21

I am pleased to see common sense is now prevailing on the most recent posts.
Are today's brides really so controlling they want to manage (or not manage) even down to minutae like this (in the context of organising a wedding, not in the context of sitting with a newly-weaned baby in your new clothes)?

NWQM · 31/12/2023 14:21

Yep....sums it up

Thementalloadisreal · 31/12/2023 14:22

DonnaBanana · 31/12/2023 11:27

In that case you definitely need one. You are doing a huge favour to the wedding party! Why isn’t mum/bridesmaid getting involved in this?

Show quote history

This! How can they expect you to look after someone else’s baby but not provide anywhere to put the baby down?!

YANBU

Katypp · 31/12/2023 14:24

As an aside, do you know who the highchairs have been allocated to?
I would have thought the baby belonging to one of the wedding party who is too little to sit on a chair but too big and messy/wriggly to sit on a knee would have been top priority?
Unless the bride has similar age triplets 😄

Thementalloadisreal · 31/12/2023 14:24

MargotBamborough · 31/12/2023 13:24

Then surely this is for the bridesmaid to sort out with the bride? I don't understand your involvement.

Show quote history

They’re not sorting it though, are they, hence the need to get involved. And if they don’t sort it, OP will be the one stuck with a baby in her arms/on her lap!

DanceMumTaxi · 31/12/2023 14:24

The bride and bridesmaid are CF. This should have been sorted for you as you’re doing them such a big favour. How do you know the bridesmaid? Are you family? The little one will likely be hard work being away from her mum anyway and no high chair will just make things worse. Presuming there is no dad available to help? I would be withdrawing my services and just enjoy the wedding. Leave the bride and bridesmaid to sort out other arrangements for the baby.

MargotBamborough · 31/12/2023 14:26

Thementalloadisreal · 31/12/2023 14:24

They’re not sorting it though, are they, hence the need to get involved. And if they don’t sort it, OP will be the one stuck with a baby in her arms/on her lap!

Show quote history

OP just needs to say no.

"No, I will not look after the baby unless a high chair is provided. No, I am not holding a one year old on my lap during the dinner. No."

momonpurpose · 31/12/2023 14:36

RampantIvy · 31/12/2023 13:07

@momonpurpose the bride asked the OP do do this.

If you select "See all" on the OP's post it will bring up all her subsequent posts.

And why would you be furious? Confused Other posters have said that they were grateful that they had one less job to do.

The great thing about mumsnet is its a place for many different opinions. I have mine and you have yours. Have a lovely day!

Sugarfree23 · 31/12/2023 14:36

DanceMumTaxi · 31/12/2023 14:24

The bride and bridesmaid are CF. This should have been sorted for you as you’re doing them such a big favour. How do you know the bridesmaid? Are you family? The little one will likely be hard work being away from her mum anyway and no high chair will just make things worse. Presuming there is no dad available to help? I would be withdrawing my services and just enjoy the wedding. Leave the bride and bridesmaid to sort out other arrangements for the baby.

I'm assuming the Op is the Brides Auntie and Babies Gran, so Bride is the Bridesmaids cousin.

Swipe left for the next trending thread