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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding invite with baby

150 replies

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 11:11

Extended family have been invited to a wedding , baby in our party will be nearly 1 . We found out from bride there will be no high chairs available. We contacted venue and they have agreed to now supply 3 high chairs .We told the bride , expecting her to let us have one of the high chairs as we had sorted but a few hours later she rang to say she’s allocated to other babies attending. AIBU to think as we sorted high chairs with venue we should be able to use one?

OP posts:
Pololo · 31/12/2023 12:01

Just take a portable one like the chicco. It will come in useful in the future when the child goes to places that don't have high chairs

ttcat37 · 31/12/2023 12:02

YANBU. Baby is invited, where does bride expect baby to sit? Shouldn’t have invited the baby if she wasn’t going to accommodate them. Can you ring back the venue and say sorry to be cheeky but could they possibly order 4 high chairs rather than 3? They’re £15 from ikea (this is what most places buy fyi)

WhateverMate · 31/12/2023 12:03

ttcat37 · 31/12/2023 12:02

YANBU. Baby is invited, where does bride expect baby to sit? Shouldn’t have invited the baby if she wasn’t going to accommodate them. Can you ring back the venue and say sorry to be cheeky but could they possibly order 4 high chairs rather than 3? They’re £15 from ikea (this is what most places buy fyi)

🤣🤣🤣

Princesspollyyy · 31/12/2023 12:04

I would just take my own high chair. I can't see why this is a problem?

Goldbar · 31/12/2023 12:05

It's a bit odd but weddings are stressful times and often the bride/groom don't have young children themselves so don't really understand the logistics (and they have 1000 other things to organise).

Take a booster seat or one of those huge bibs that cover the whole of the baby's outfit and highchair and feed in the buggy.

It's annoying but not a big deal and not worth getting offended over.

ttcat37 · 31/12/2023 12:05

WhateverMate · 31/12/2023 12:03

🤣🤣🤣

Show quote history

Care to use words rather than pictures or is that beyond you?

SkinnyChaiLattePlease · 31/12/2023 12:06

Won’t the baby have a buggy?

TheFlis · 31/12/2023 12:06

I can’t be how vile some posters are being to the OP! She is doing the wedding party a huge favour, looking after someone else’s baby so the bridesmaid can fully participate in the wedding and will be the one hugely inconvenienced (and struggle to eat her meal) if no high chair is available for it. She’s done the sensible thing and tried to resolve the matter and the bride has been ridiculously selfish then allocating the chairs to other babies.

Ignore the crazy, nasty posts. I would speak to the babies mother and ask if she can either discuss it with the bride or provide a high chair herself.

TheFlis · 31/12/2023 12:07

Princesspollyyy · 31/12/2023 12:04

I would just take my own high chair. I can't see why this is a problem?

It’s not the OPs baby so she may well not have one!

anothernamechangeagainsndagain · 31/12/2023 12:09

Are you driving there? If so bring your own

Outforlunchallday · 31/12/2023 12:09

Yanbu and some of these replies are crackers.
Tell the Mother she needs to sort out a high hair as you will not be able to look after the child unless she does.

WhateverMate · 31/12/2023 12:09

ttcat37 · 31/12/2023 12:05

Care to use words rather than pictures or is that beyond you?

Show quote history

Sorry, I couldn't type for laughing! 🤣🤣

Are you trying to get the OP banned from her extended family wedding?

She needs to do less contacting of other people's wedding venues, not more!

This is between the bride, the groom and their bridesmaid.

SerafinasGoose · 31/12/2023 12:09

NeatCompactSleeper · 31/12/2023 11:51

Strange how you waited until you were 3 posts in, to type this really quite relevant information.

Show quote history

The OP was directly asked and replied.

Ghostgirl77 · 31/12/2023 12:11

Just get the mum to get one of those little folding ones that go on top of a normal chair. A one year old is big enough and she’ll get loads of use out of it. Or sit the child on your lap, or share the high chairs. At least one of the other three babies is likely to be napping or being fed at any given time.

Ultimately bride is paying for venue so she gets to decide where the high chairs go.

GreatGateauxsby · 31/12/2023 12:11

The B&G are dicks. You sourced high chairs and they allocated them to others????

Stupidly rude - high chairs are £20 for ikea they could add one more to a £20k plus wedding and it’s a drop in the ocean.

if they were CLOSE family I’d buy a strap on booster seat and request a normal seat

otherwise I’d decline or send DH alone. Fuck ‘em

Bex5490 · 31/12/2023 12:11

Was the baby actually invited or did the mum assume? Seems like the mum of the child and the bride should have had a conversation (as she’s bridesmaid) about where and how this baby was going to be looked after during the meal…

Seems a bit unfair that OP’s scrabbling around trying to sort out provisions. Clearly she’s kindly agreed to watch the baby while mum takes part in the wedding and is worrying about the set up as no one’s told her…

MrsDoylesDoily · 31/12/2023 12:12

TheFlis · 31/12/2023 12:06

I can’t be how vile some posters are being to the OP! She is doing the wedding party a huge favour, looking after someone else’s baby so the bridesmaid can fully participate in the wedding and will be the one hugely inconvenienced (and struggle to eat her meal) if no high chair is available for it. She’s done the sensible thing and tried to resolve the matter and the bride has been ridiculously selfish then allocating the chairs to other babies.

Ignore the crazy, nasty posts. I would speak to the babies mother and ask if she can either discuss it with the bride or provide a high chair herself.

Ignore the crazy, nasty posts. I would speak to the babies mother and ask if she can either discuss it with the bride or provide a high chair herself.

Well this is exactly what the 'crazy, nasty posters' are suggesting 🤷‍♂️

It's not the OP's place.

NeatCompactSleeper · 31/12/2023 12:13

SerafinasGoose · 31/12/2023 12:09

The OP was directly asked and replied.

Show quote history

Someone asked her if she was babysitting the child of a bridesmaid?

I totally missed that Confused

Original poster
Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 12:14

Thanks for mixed opinions . To clarify even further , Bride said she was happy for us to contact venue about no high chairs , said it would be one less thing for her to sort out. Venue said they would pay for 3 high chairs to be used at wedding and future events. We are definitely expected to be at wedding meal into the evening.

OP posts:
SerafinasGoose · 31/12/2023 12:14

WandaWonder · 31/12/2023 11:34

It's not your wedding you do understand that?

If this sort of attitude is really as commonplace as it seems, then it's no wonder so many people these days happily own to finding any excuse possible to decline a wedding invitation.

Newsenmum · 31/12/2023 12:14

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 11:17

Sorry just to clarify . Bride said venue could not provide any high chairs at all . We contacted venue and they confirmed they had no high chairs but then agreed to purchase 3 for wedding and future events.

what? No you don’t get involved in the venue! You stay clear!! Hands held up! Not your wedding.

Say to bride your issue, if they can’t provide then you make do or don’t go. Whatever works.

EmptyYoghurtPot · 31/12/2023 12:15

I can’t believe how many people think that it’s fine for a random guest to ring the wedding venue and make suggestions! Imagine if everyone did that - Aunt Gladys needs a hard backed chair, Uncle John needs to sit on an end to accommodate his wooden leg etc etc
Surely this should be discussed with the bride and groom?

ttcat37 · 31/12/2023 12:16

WhateverMate · 31/12/2023 12:09

Sorry, I couldn't type for laughing! 🤣🤣

Are you trying to get the OP banned from her extended family wedding?

She needs to do less contacting of other people's wedding venues, not more!

This is between the bride, the groom and their bridesmaid.

Show quote history

Wow, you must have a sad little life if you find it that funny.
Why would she get banned? She’s looking after one of the bridesmaid’s baby so they can be a bridesmaid. The bride said there’d be no high chairs which is obviously shit and unacceptable when she’s invited multiple babies. So OP has organised highchairs with the venue and the bride has dished them out to other guest?
It’s not about the bride, groom and bridesmaid when it’s the OP left holding a baby all day and they’ve done sweet FA to sort anything out.

WhateverMate · 31/12/2023 12:18

Loopylambs · 31/12/2023 12:14

Thanks for mixed opinions . To clarify even further , Bride said she was happy for us to contact venue about no high chairs , said it would be one less thing for her to sort out. Venue said they would pay for 3 high chairs to be used at wedding and future events. We are definitely expected to be at wedding meal into the evening.

To clarify even further , Bride said she was happy for us to contact venue about no high chairs , said it would be one less thing for her to sort out.

You mean to drip-feed even further?

Honestly, you might as well rip the thread up and start again.

Hotgoose · 31/12/2023 12:19

Is the baby definitely invited to the wedding? If so then just buy a travel high chair, you can get them for about £20. To be honest if you’re able and comfortable I’d leave the baby with a relative and have a fun time yourself at the wedding but please do stop contacting the venue and interfering with their wedding.