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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nomination braclet

123 replies

Raoim · 30/12/2023 10:44

my mum gifted me a nomination braclet for xmas with two charms/links.I have no interest in any sort of jewellery that needs building over time and find it a bit of a con.I don't like the look of it with just the two charms but really do not want to spend any money on making it 'wearable '.
My mum keeps saying how lovely it is and asking when i will wear it, it's still in the bag on the sideboard.I told my mum last night that it wasn't really something that I would buy myself and that it needs a load of money spent on it.
My mum then called me ungrateful and said she bought as I don't ever buy anything nice for myself,she couldn't seem to understand that I will either need to wait to be gifted charms over a period of time before I would want to wear it or spend approx £200 myself to get it to a point I would be happy to wear it.
My mum is now not speaking to me.

OP posts:
AbsoFrickingLuteley · 30/12/2023 10:47

Well of course YABU and ungrateful.

Prinnny · 30/12/2023 10:48

She tried to do a nice thing and I think your response was quite rude tbh. You can wear it as it is and people will buy you additional charms over the years, iirc those charms aren’t very expensive either.

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 30/12/2023 10:49

Couldn't you have brought yourself to wear it in front of your mum?

Finlesswonder · 30/12/2023 10:50

You sound like a real brat

ZiriForGood · 30/12/2023 10:50

YANBU.

It is a con, and if you would wear it, you are just making people to spend more money on it.

RiverCartwright · 30/12/2023 10:51

Maybe she had the idea of buying you charms for special occasions rather than you buying your own?

PTAProblems · 30/12/2023 10:54

YANBU. I've just googled and they must be a certain taste, I wouldn't wear one. I think its always a risk buying jewellery for people unless you know their style. Maybe let your Mum know that you appreciate the thought and would love a bracelet from her but one more to your taste. See if she can return it and let you choose another so you've still got a nice bracelet from her.

Muchof · 30/12/2023 10:54

Wow! I am not surprised she is not speaking to you. How unbelievably bratty, rude and ungrateful. She should think hard about ever buying you a gift ever again.

And the whole point of these bracelets is to add to them over time.

AdobeWanKenobi · 30/12/2023 11:00

PTAProblems · 30/12/2023 10:54

YANBU. I've just googled and they must be a certain taste, I wouldn't wear one. I think its always a risk buying jewellery for people unless you know their style. Maybe let your Mum know that you appreciate the thought and would love a bracelet from her but one more to your taste. See if she can return it and let you choose another so you've still got a nice bracelet from her.

Oh goodness, of course you wouldn’t wear one! This is Mumsnet where only Cartier is acceptable and anything below that is frightfully common. 🙄

And so begins another one of those threads where posters try and out do themselves over how they could never wear something like that. 😂

curtaintwitcher78 · 30/12/2023 11:01

YANBU. She meant well but got it wrong. If you told her nicely then you can't have done any more.

ZiriForGood · 30/12/2023 11:02

All those people calling it rude and more, how would you say it in a nicer way?

No-one should feel entitled to occupy OP's wrist space with something this ugly.

If OP shuts up and wears it, the giver would interpret it that she likes it, and it would only encourage them, which would make the issue only worse.

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 30/12/2023 11:04

ZiriForGood · 30/12/2023 11:02

All those people calling it rude and more, how would you say it in a nicer way?

No-one should feel entitled to occupy OP's wrist space with something this ugly.

If OP shuts up and wears it, the giver would interpret it that she likes it, and it would only encourage them, which would make the issue only worse.

Ugly? It's extremely plain in its charm free state, not very noticeable at all.

Nomination braclet
Idontgiveagriffindamn · 30/12/2023 11:07

I wouldn’t wear one, to me they are ugly and not to my taste.
Of course you were right to speak up otherwise you’d have years of being bought charms for this - something you dislike and you’re not going to wear

AdobeWanKenobi · 30/12/2023 11:09

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 30/12/2023 11:07

I wouldn’t wear one, to me they are ugly and not to my taste.
Of course you were right to speak up otherwise you’d have years of being bought charms for this - something you dislike and you’re not going to wear

Edited

So predictable it’s actually quite funny.

Karwomannghia · 30/12/2023 11:13

My sister got my and my teens one and I’ve found cheap knock off stainless steel charms I give them occasionally on eBay. Absolutely loads of designs. I wear mine occasionally.
point being it doesn’t have to cost a fortune to add to

Shinyandnew1 · 30/12/2023 11:16

A friend of mine has one of these-I really don’t like it and wouldn’t wear one. People choose to wear jewellery because they like how it looks, otherwise there’s no point.

I would only buy jewellery as a gift if the person had told me what they want/like!

Musicalnames · 30/12/2023 11:22

PTAProblems · 30/12/2023 10:54

YANBU. I've just googled and they must be a certain taste, I wouldn't wear one. I think its always a risk buying jewellery for people unless you know their style. Maybe let your Mum know that you appreciate the thought and would love a bracelet from her but one more to your taste. See if she can return it and let you choose another so you've still got a nice bracelet from her.

Agree with this. Perhaps it was a little harsh to call the bracelet a con when your mum thought she was buying you something nice so maybe just explain it's not really to your taste but you like the idea of having something special from her so you'd like to return it and pick something more to your liking. Maybe go shopping together and make a day of it.

Your mum is possibly just a little hurt because she's disappointed it wasn't received as well as she'd hoped but I'm sure she'd rather you have something you will wear.

ZiriForGood · 30/12/2023 11:23

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 30/12/2023 11:04

Ugly? It's extremely plain in its charm free state, not very noticeable at all.

Show quote history

Yes, ugly. It looks like a watches wristband to me.

Anyway - the whole point is that jewellery is very much about a personal taste (which doesn't mean price or brand). Especially people who don't wear it a lot need to feel really well about a piece to want to wear it.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 30/12/2023 11:25

@AdobeWanKenobi why is it predictable? I don’t like it and wouldn’t wear it. I would have thought some of the things I wear others would find ugly and not to their taste.
I also wouldn’t want years of receiving charms for it from my mum. Where this differs is my mum would want to buy me something I’d like and use and she would be upset if I kept quiet and she bought me more charms.
I wouldn’t say anything mean or nasty but I have the sort of relationship with my mum where we can be open and honest with each other.

Nicole1111 · 30/12/2023 11:27

Hopefully she’ll stop buying you presents now completely and that will resolve your problems moving forwards. You won’t have anything to be ungrateful and rude about.

TillyKister · 30/12/2023 11:28

I guess your Mom thought she was buying you something that was a treat just for you.

I think your response to her gift was quite harsh.

AuntieDolly · 30/12/2023 11:28

I don't think you're being a brat or unreasonable at all. No need to commit to someone else idea of 'something nice'. Apologise if you said it in a hurtful way, but see if it can be exchanged for an item you will actually wear.

AdobeWanKenobi · 30/12/2023 11:29

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 30/12/2023 11:25

@AdobeWanKenobi why is it predictable? I don’t like it and wouldn’t wear it. I would have thought some of the things I wear others would find ugly and not to their taste.
I also wouldn’t want years of receiving charms for it from my mum. Where this differs is my mum would want to buy me something I’d like and use and she would be upset if I kept quiet and she bought me more charms.
I wouldn’t say anything mean or nasty but I have the sort of relationship with my mum where we can be open and honest with each other.

It’s predictable because it’s just utter snobbishness that goes hand in hand with some posters on this site.
OP didn’t ask if you’d wear one but you and others can’t wait to post that they’re ugly, and that’s what this post will become. Pages and pages of sneering at other people’s taste.

Original poster
Raoim · 30/12/2023 11:29

Sorry just to clarify I didn't tell my mum that I thought it was a con that is just my opinion.
I told my mum that I wasn't a fan of the look with just the two charms but would wear it in time when more charms had been gifted,she wasn't happy that I was going to let it sit by for month or possibly years and said that I could but some to fill it up.I told her I didn't really want to buy any as it is not something I would have bought for myself but would be happy to wait.
This then resulted in a massive rant off my mum about me being ungrateful.

OP posts:
FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 30/12/2023 11:30

It sounds awful I wouldn’t want a charm bracelet either.

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