Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nomination braclet

123 replies

Raoim · 30/12/2023 10:44

my mum gifted me a nomination braclet for xmas with two charms/links.I have no interest in any sort of jewellery that needs building over time and find it a bit of a con.I don't like the look of it with just the two charms but really do not want to spend any money on making it 'wearable '.
My mum keeps saying how lovely it is and asking when i will wear it, it's still in the bag on the sideboard.I told my mum last night that it wasn't really something that I would buy myself and that it needs a load of money spent on it.
My mum then called me ungrateful and said she bought as I don't ever buy anything nice for myself,she couldn't seem to understand that I will either need to wait to be gifted charms over a period of time before I would want to wear it or spend approx £200 myself to get it to a point I would be happy to wear it.
My mum is now not speaking to me.

OP posts:
User56785 · 30/12/2023 13:08

Bbq1 · 30/12/2023 12:53

Op is rude, spoilt and ungrateful

Because you like them she is ungrateful? That's madness.

Would you just wear absolutely anything that someone bought you? Shell suit? Velvet pantaloons? Stilettos? FLDS dress?

DiegosMomHasGotItGoingOn · 30/12/2023 13:09

I hadn’t heard of them before and I agree with you OP that it’s not something I would wear. Not in a snobby way as I don’t wear expensive jewellery but it’s just not my taste.

Your mum directly asked you why you weren’t wearing it which put you in an awkward situation of either lying or having to wear something regularly that you don’t like. I don’t think you were rude to be honest when asked.

QuillBill · 30/12/2023 13:09

Bbq1 · 30/12/2023 12:52

I have one. I love itnd all tge chsrms mean something to. I know quite a few people who have thrm, like them and wear tgem. They are far from "ugly".

But the OP doesn't like them. She thinks is they are ugly.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 30/12/2023 13:11

Id never heard of these and just googled. I wouldn't like it either, and tbh it probably is a bit better to have told her, otherwise she'll have bought charms for the next umpteen birthdays and christmases.

Delassalle · 30/12/2023 13:14

I've not seen this type of bracelet before and agree that it would look odd with just two charms and needs a collection. It also looks like something a child would wear rather than an adult?

A traditional charm bracket would have been better as you can at least wear it with only a couple of charms.

What about if you can just swap it for a bracelet of your choosing if she lets you have the receipt?

I don't get all this shut up and be grateful if the gift is going to be wasted.

It's not rude to say, "Thank you ever so much, sadly it's not something I would wear but I would love to swap it for a different bracket so that your gift is not wasted."

dooneyousmugelf · 30/12/2023 13:16

Aww she must feel gutted. The way you've told her you wouldn't wear it with 'only two charms' sounds like you think it's inadequate.
Either be honest but tactful and say it's not really your style and you'd hate to waste all that money so ask if she could possibly return it. Or smile and be grateful. Not make up all these reasons why you 'can't' wear it.

JMSA · 30/12/2023 13:17

What a misery!

DNLove · 30/12/2023 13:17

I think it's much nicer plain than with any of the charm things in it. The charms don't look attractive at all.
You probably could have just stuck it on a few times to keep her happy. It's not hideous, it completely non offensive. It would sit beside a silver watch on your wrist inconspicuously.
I wouldn't be into a charm bracelet as something to wear but I do like the idea of getting one for a child and building up charms as they reach occasions. Never to be worn but a little memory chain.

EdinGirl · 30/12/2023 13:18

I couldn't wear one either. Not my taste at all.

I would have just asked if I could return it for something more my style and maybe made a special day out of going to choose something together.

That sort of jewellery is a HUGE risk unless you know 100% the person will like it.
I honestly would be a bit disappointed if my mum didn't know me well enough to know that I wouldn't like it

IKissedKermit · 30/12/2023 13:31

Teenage DD was gifted one of these a couple of years ago with a charm, possibly two charms, by her aunt who would have got it a generously discounted price, she works for the retailer involved. DD has never worn it. She has a part-time job and could easily buy some additional charms, if she was interested. I don't like it but have said nothing out loud. In my head it looks like a watch strap, a child's watch strap from decades ago, like a Timex only not as nice. This is why I always give gift receipts with gifts. I do my best to find presents to suit recipient but I am quite aware that despite my best efforts I don't get it right 100% of the time. I would never be offended if someone changed a gift from me for something that fits them better, is more to their taste or is a better colour choice for them, even for something more practical like a waste paper bin or a kitchen roll holder. Aunt is completely unaware of how many of her gifts have ended up at the charity shop (mostly handbags and bungalow slippers). It is unreasonable to choose something this personal and expect someone to wear it everyday, or at all.

PTAProblems · 30/12/2023 13:44

@AdobeWanKenobi I didn't mention anything about the price! My favourite bracelet is one with a bee on that my son bought me for about £10! I just think these bracelets are ugly. I didnt even see the price, just a Google image of one. Your own insecurities coming out there I think!

Ponoka7 · 30/12/2023 13:44

I've seen these on FB this year, mainly bought for 4-15 year olds. Like a pp they remind me of the watch straps from the 70/80's. If you agree to swap presents it isn't ungrateful to be honest to your Mum. The OP will be spending money to get back something that sits in a drawer, for years. How is that good for either of them? We aren't dress up dollies, the OP doesn't have to wear something 3/4 times a week that she doesn't like. It would be bloody rude for her Mother to expect it.

GacksonJalaxy · 30/12/2023 13:44

Rolling my eyes at all the people calling you a rude, ungrateful brat. Your mum decided that you should wear this bracelet (which incidentally will make her life more convenient for the next few years as she can just buy you charms to add to it for your birthdays/Christmases) even though you don't like it. If I gave someone something they didn't like and they told me so much, I might feel a bit hurt and embarrassed, but ultimately I would rather know so that I didn't waste money buying them the same thing on future occasions. I don't like when people give me clothes or jewellery without talking to me about it first, especially jewellery as I don't really wear it. I couldn't bring myself to wear a Nomination or Pandora bracelet as I don't like the style at all. If your mum is generally a reasonable person I'm sure she'll come around.

Fizbosshoes · 30/12/2023 13:59

I've not heard of them before but I think there is different present etiquette in different scenarios.
A friend gives me a box of thorntons every year, and an elderly relative used to give us a box of biscuits that no one really liked. We just said thank you and gave them away, or put in a food bank.
Similarly if the kids were given a book they already have, if there wasn't a receipt I would try to change it or give to a friend.
However if a close family member had spent a lot on a present that wasn't to my taste I would tellthem because I'd feel bad they had spent so much on something I wouldn't wear/use. I'd probably want someone to tell me if I did the same because the point of a gift is that it is something the recipient will enjoy or find useful....isn't it?

Poppysmom22 · 30/12/2023 14:02

I’ve got one and I love mine I buy myself a charm when I feel like I have achieved something my friends also have bought me the odd charm. I like the mix of it and I like that people aren’t driving themselves nuts over what to buy me for birthdays or whatever but can choose something meaningful that I will wear and it gives me something to figet with when feeling anxious

Poppysmom22 · 30/12/2023 14:03

To space your charms out to make it look more leave a blank tile between each one

Shinyandnew1 · 30/12/2023 14:06

The OP doesn’t like this bracelet-I don’t blame her, I don’t either. Lots of people telling her that they really like theirs isn’t terribly helpful!

Josette77 · 30/12/2023 14:07

Nope. I think they are really cheesy looking.

If you saw your mom once or twice a year I'd say suck it up and wear it, but 4-5 times a week, hell no..

I don't think anyone needs to wear obligatory jewelry they aren't comfortable in.

BeelzebubsHoover · 30/12/2023 14:08

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 30/12/2023 13:11

Id never heard of these and just googled. I wouldn't like it either, and tbh it probably is a bit better to have told her, otherwise she'll have bought charms for the next umpteen birthdays and christmases.

That’s a big part of it, isn’t it? I wouldn’t wear one and would have to say something for that reason

Poppysmom22 · 30/12/2023 14:09

I wear mine against my watch and think it’s nice on my wrist on its own it’s too chunky but layered it look a good

Laurama91 · 30/12/2023 14:20

These have been around for years. I had one when from ex teenage boyfriend around 15 years ago. Stopped wearing it as most were from him. I also used to get them to mark occasions/memories. Paw prints for my dogs that had passed for example.

dankfarrik · 30/12/2023 14:22

Tbh, yes I would have tried to appear grateful and wear it every now and then so she saw it, but now everyone is saying about how they get charms for birthday and Christmas and how easy it makes present buying. That's years of trying to appear grateful for something that doesn't appeal to you at all, and more money sunk into something that's only worn to please the giver. I'd want to know if someone didn't like something if I was planning on basing presents on it for years.

PurplePansy05 · 30/12/2023 14:27

You sound like a teenager. You have every right not to like charm bracelets but it's really a first world problem. Nomination are Italian originally and far less naff than Pandora. Definitely not too chunky for small wrists either. If you don't like them, that's fine, but don't make out stupid excuses.

Just have a word with your DM explaining you don't like charm bracelets or silver jewellery. Say that you appreciate the gift and the thought behind it but you'd like to exchange it for a bracelet you could wear daily and it would remind you of your DM, ask her politely if there is an option to do this.

Cmonluv · 30/12/2023 14:42

PurplePansy05 · 30/12/2023 14:27

You sound like a teenager. You have every right not to like charm bracelets but it's really a first world problem. Nomination are Italian originally and far less naff than Pandora. Definitely not too chunky for small wrists either. If you don't like them, that's fine, but don't make out stupid excuses.

Just have a word with your DM explaining you don't like charm bracelets or silver jewellery. Say that you appreciate the gift and the thought behind it but you'd like to exchange it for a bracelet you could wear daily and it would remind you of your DM, ask her politely if there is an option to do this.

Edited

Pandora are equally as naff. It's not a cost thing, they're a very specific thing and I cannot imagine what anyone would find pretty about them

PurplePansy05 · 30/12/2023 14:45

Most charms are naff! But most adults don't complain about a jewellery gift not to their taste on MN, but speak to the person involved and exchange it 🤷🏼‍♀️