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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nomination braclet

123 replies

Raoim · 30/12/2023 10:44

my mum gifted me a nomination braclet for xmas with two charms/links.I have no interest in any sort of jewellery that needs building over time and find it a bit of a con.I don't like the look of it with just the two charms but really do not want to spend any money on making it 'wearable '.
My mum keeps saying how lovely it is and asking when i will wear it, it's still in the bag on the sideboard.I told my mum last night that it wasn't really something that I would buy myself and that it needs a load of money spent on it.
My mum then called me ungrateful and said she bought as I don't ever buy anything nice for myself,she couldn't seem to understand that I will either need to wait to be gifted charms over a period of time before I would want to wear it or spend approx £200 myself to get it to a point I would be happy to wear it.
My mum is now not speaking to me.

OP posts:
TitaniasAss · 30/12/2023 11:58

Oh sometimes it's just nice to do something to make someone else happy. You could just have worn it every so often when with your mum, just for her. Wouldn't have killed you, she was obviously trying to do something nice for you.

Mrsjayy · 30/12/2023 11:59

i dont know why you just didnt say thank you and then left it at that or say the links "pinched" your skin or something.

Fizbosshoes · 30/12/2023 12:02

I don't think its brattish or ungrateful if you don't like something.
I'd feel bad if someone spent a lot of money on something I wouldn't wear. As pp have said jewellery is normally personal taste. DH bought me a necklace once, but I really couldn't imagine wearing it so I told him so, and he took it back and got me something that I like and wear

Original poster
Raoim · 30/12/2023 12:02

I might have to look at some cheaper charm alternatives,I know my mum was trying to be thoughtful that's why I didn't say anything until she asked why I wasn't wearing it.
I didn't want to hurt her feeling but at the same time didn't want to have to commit to wearing a piece of jewellery most days that isn't to my taste.

OP posts:
AlbatrosStrike · 30/12/2023 12:08

You were incredibly rude to your mum. And the way you framed it to her didn’t make it better. It just sounded like you were expecting more charms.

To all the Hyacinths saying you were right to react as you did - read up on gift receiving etiquette.

Mrsjayy · 30/12/2023 12:08

you can keep it for good you can let your mum buy you a link for Birthdays and Christmas you could have worn it Birthdays and Christmas, of course you have hurt her feelings.

Mammyloveswine · 30/12/2023 12:10

I love my nomination bracelet but the charms are a pain in the arse to fit!

Op could you swap it for something else?

Shinyandnew1 · 30/12/2023 12:12

My mum keeps saying how lovely it is and asking when i will wear it

I can’t imagine behaving so tone deaf to one of my children about a present. If I’d bought something rather off piste for them, then I’d be concerned they wouldn’t like it rather than assuming they loved it and would want to wear it every day. I would hope I had more awareness than that!

QuillBill · 30/12/2023 12:15

I can't understand why people think it's ungrateful not to want an expensive bracelet.

It reminds me of when Megs on Motherland got that Princess Anne hat for Christmas.

StrictlyJowita · 30/12/2023 12:16

Mrsjayy · 30/12/2023 11:59

i dont know why you just didnt say thank you and then left it at that or say the links "pinched" your skin or something.

Why should she lie to her own mother?

Original poster
Raoim · 30/12/2023 12:19

To the poster stating it sounded like I wanted more charms,I really didn't...I did not ask for this or have I ever shown an interest in this type of jewellery.My initial intention was to leave it in my jewellery box and not mention I again.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 30/12/2023 12:20

RiverCartwright · 30/12/2023 10:51

Maybe she had the idea of buying you charms for special occasions rather than you buying your own?

This. I know loads of people who have them and wear them with varying numbers of charms.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 30/12/2023 12:24

RedHelenB · 30/12/2023 12:20

This. I know loads of people who have them and wear them with varying numbers of charms.

Show quote history

And this is exactly why the OP should speak up about not liking it rather than staying silent about receiving additional charms over the next few years.
Or honestly should she be grateful for the next 10 or so presents she doesn’t like?
I’m not criticising or belittling anybody who likes these btw. It’s not my taste but I fully appreciate someone else will treasure them

MetalFences · 30/12/2023 12:26

Whether other people like them or don't like them or whether posters know other people who have them is completely irrelevant.

The OP doesn't like it and it was an expensive present. She should be able to convey this to her mum without her mum stopping speaking to her or being called bratty and ungrateful!

People like different things.

The OP doesn't like it even if someone on here who she doesn't know knows someone else who has one.

savoycabbage · 30/12/2023 12:27

This. I know loads of people who have them and wear them with varying numbers of charms.

I've never even heard of them and if I have seen one I haven't noticed it.

megletthesecond · 30/12/2023 12:31

Yanbu. That's a lot of money for her to spend to assume you will like it.

AllAroundMyCat · 30/12/2023 12:32

Im with you OP.

I'm surprised that your mum saw fit to spend so much on something very personal without checking that its something you'd wear.

Shinyandnew1 · 30/12/2023 12:42

MetalFences · 30/12/2023 12:26

Whether other people like them or don't like them or whether posters know other people who have them is completely irrelevant.

The OP doesn't like it and it was an expensive present. She should be able to convey this to her mum without her mum stopping speaking to her or being called bratty and ungrateful!

People like different things.

The OP doesn't like it even if someone on here who she doesn't know knows someone else who has one.

I nodded through every sentence you’d written!

Asparagus1 · 30/12/2023 12:51

Why couldn’t you just wear it when you see her to make her happy?

QuillBill · 30/12/2023 12:51

Asparagus1 · 30/12/2023 12:51

Why couldn’t you just wear it when you see her to make her happy?

She's already explained that.

Bbq1 · 30/12/2023 12:52

I have one. I love itnd all tge chsrms mean something to. I know quite a few people who have thrm, like them and wear tgem. They are far from "ugly".

Bbq1 · 30/12/2023 12:53

Op is rude, spoilt and ungrateful

tomatoontoast · 30/12/2023 12:54

They're tacky OP so I don't blame you for not wearing it.

Your Mum probably bought it as she thought it would be easy to buy charms for birthdays and Christmas instead of having to think of thoughtful presents.

The bracelets sell well on Vinted.

comfyshoes2022 · 30/12/2023 12:56

I’m going to go against the grain here and say that I think the main person who is being unreasonable is your mum asking you why you haven’t been wearing it more often. It’s 4-5 days after Christmas, and you already wore it one day. When a person asks something like that, they’re kind of opening themselves up to a conversation where they are told one way or another that the gift recipient doesn’t like the gift as much as they had hoped.

Shinyandnew1 · 30/12/2023 12:59

I think buying something that someone didn’t ask for and doesn’t like and expecting them to be grateful and wear it regardless is rude. Refusing to speak to them afterwards is even worse!