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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nomination braclet

123 replies

Raoim · 30/12/2023 10:44

my mum gifted me a nomination braclet for xmas with two charms/links.I have no interest in any sort of jewellery that needs building over time and find it a bit of a con.I don't like the look of it with just the two charms but really do not want to spend any money on making it 'wearable '.
My mum keeps saying how lovely it is and asking when i will wear it, it's still in the bag on the sideboard.I told my mum last night that it wasn't really something that I would buy myself and that it needs a load of money spent on it.
My mum then called me ungrateful and said she bought as I don't ever buy anything nice for myself,she couldn't seem to understand that I will either need to wait to be gifted charms over a period of time before I would want to wear it or spend approx £200 myself to get it to a point I would be happy to wear it.
My mum is now not speaking to me.

OP posts:
SalviaDivinorum · 30/12/2023 11:30

Are these still being made? I had one years ago but it was a cheap knock off which I never actually wore.

They are not my taste either but it wouldn't hurt to have put it on for a few hours just to appear polite and then consign it to the back of the drawer.

Beryls · 30/12/2023 11:30

Even if you don't like it, I don't think it would hurt you to wear it in front of your mum occasionally. My mum bought me a hideous coat which I wouldn't choose myself but I make sure to wear it every now and then and she always comments and it seems to make her very happy I'm wearing it.

It doesn't harm me to wear something that I don't like, I don't care what other people think of me in my hideous coat, she saw it and thought I'd like it and it makes her happy to believe that I do.

People being ungrateful makes me cringe, I think it was just how I was brought up, I wouldn't dream of telling someone who'd bought me a gift that I didn't like it.

Shinyandnew1 · 30/12/2023 11:31

My mother in law spent years buying DH gifts that she liked but he would never have worn (pink silk shirt and waistcoat when he was 18 and wearing AC/DC band T-shirts) and would get cross if said thank you but then didn’t wear it, but also cross if he gently said it wasn’t to his taste-he couldn’t win!

Buying clothes, house stuff and jewellery for other people needs to be done carefully and usually with a bit of input from the person!

Loulou599 · 30/12/2023 11:31

Let me guess...you're Gen z or late millennial

Original poster
Raoim · 30/12/2023 11:31

This is what I feel....I feel like the actual bracelet look like a out date wrist watch.

OP posts:
Calabou · 30/12/2023 11:31

I actually agree with you OP. I think charm bracelets look awful, especially those Pandora ones. No I am not upper class or extremely wealthy, my clothes are mainly from supermarkets and my most expensive piece of jewellery cost around £30 before I'm accused of snobbery!
I wouldn't want to have to wear or spend money on something I thought looked tacky and didn't want to wear. It's the sort of present you need to be sure someone really wants before buying it. Not at all ungrateful to not want to wear something you don't like.

ThinWomansBrain · 30/12/2023 11:33

Maybe you're always a pain in the arse to buy gifts for and she thought that buying you this and adding to it over the years would resolve the problem.

Reminds me of a friend who always gave her father ancient (and quite valuable) coins for b'day and Christmas gifts. When I attempted to chat to him about his hobby/collection, he didn't seem particularly interested.
Friend later explained that she'd decided building the collection 'for him' was better than inheriting a lifetime of gifted jumpers when he died.😐

AlmostAJillSandwich · 30/12/2023 11:33

Oh, no, i really don't like the look of those at all after googling it, and so expensive.

2chocolateoranges · 30/12/2023 11:35

You do sound a bit ungrateful.

dd has one and hasn’t bought any charms for it , it’s been either myself or her boyfriend who has given her charms for birthdays/Christmas. Half the time I can’t tell what charm is what, as they are tiny.

every teen/early 20’s girl I know has one. Even a couple of my friends have them .

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 30/12/2023 11:37

@AdobeWanKenobi ok I’ll post this instead
OP I don’t think you were wrong to say something to your mum about not liking the gifts and therefore potentially removing the ‘wasted’ presents she will give you in future.
Maybe apologise to your mum that you have hurt her feelings and that you appreciate the sentiment behind the gift of something that is a treat for you.
Better?

1offnamechange · 30/12/2023 11:38

I don't get these responses. The whole point of a gift is for it to be enjoyed by the recipient. If nomination bracelets aren't OPs style, it's not just like it's a one off gift (which it could perhaps be understandable to pretend you liked), she's basically signing up to every birthday and christmas present for the next 10 years being additional charms she doesn't want for a bracelet she never wears.

Which is a complete waste of (hundreds of pounds of!) the mum's money. The only one benefitting is the company making the bracelets.

Perhaps OP could have worded it better, but if I bought something that really wasn't to the wearer's taste I would 100% prefer to know so they could swap it for something they actually liked! Particularly if it was comparatively expensive.
Although personally I never understand why people buy others expensive jewellery before being sure they will definitely like it first - it's such a personal taste. People tend to buy things THEY like assuming because they do of course the recipient will too, which is just selfish imho.

edited to clarify the earlier responses, the subsequent ones while I was writing this post are more sane! and those bracelets are hideous.

Original poster
Raoim · 30/12/2023 11:38

Its definitely not a snobbish thing ,I'm happy to wear cheap costume jewellery and often do on a night out.
I just don't won't to spend money on it myself to make something that I would wear but still wouldn't particularly like.
I did wear it xmas day but I really don't like the look she bought the silver with gold charm but my everyday jewelry ie wedding ring is yellow hold and I wear a dmall pair of yellow gold studs.i will phone my mum to make amends and see how it goes.

OP posts:
KnickerlessParsons · 30/12/2023 11:40

Just wear it occasionally when you see your mother FFS! It won't kill you and it'll make her happy.
After her days, you can sell it 😁

tadpolelove · 30/12/2023 11:41

You do sound ungrateful. I love mine and so do my 3 daughters. All the women in my family have them too, makes birthdays and Xmas so much easier. You can pick the charms up cheap on vinted

LegoDeathTrap · 30/12/2023 11:44

YANBU. These bracelets are naff, childish, and a total con.

Would you buy it for £500? No, because you can get nicer jewellery for that. Then why buy it for £100 and expect the owner to have to spend another £400 on it?

I have one rotting in my drawer as well - any MNers who like it can have it for free, together with the two pathetic charms.

ILoveToads · 30/12/2023 11:45

What a brat you are.

dankfarrik · 30/12/2023 11:46

Ohh having googled it that would not be to my taste either.

Original poster
Raoim · 30/12/2023 11:47

For everyone saying just wear it occasionally when you see you mum that would be fine ,but my mum bought it with the intention of it being an everyday piece.I see my mum 4/5 aweek so would pretty much need to wear it every day to keep my mum happy.
We are really close and my mum knows me really well...she is normally an excellent gift giver so this is the first time anything like this has happened.

OP posts:
PinkiOcelot · 30/12/2023 11:49

I have one and I like it. I bought my dds one each and buy them charms that mean something, ie 18, 21, graduation etc.

My dd has just bought me a charm of my mam’s handwriting copied from a Christmas card. I lost my mam a few months ago. That charm certainly means something to me.

It’s just different opinions and if you (collective you) don’t like them, then fine but no need to be so damn rude.

Original poster
Raoim · 30/12/2023 11:51

I didn't mean to offend anyone buy saying i don't like them but it's completely different for anything I would wear I have small wrist so only wear chain style bracelet because of this I feel the nomination looks chunky and would suit me even if I did like them.

OP posts:
Calabou · 30/12/2023 11:55

Oh I've just googled, I was thinking generic charm bracelets, but Nomination bracelet is an actual brand. I can see quite a few posters have one so all I'll say is yes OP, I can see why you don't want to wear it. I'm surprised they seem to be so popular, I'm early 30s, have female family members on both sides from 16-70s (many late teens or 20s) and not one owns one of these. No friends with one either.

luckylavender · 30/12/2023 11:56

I think that's really tricky. I love jewellery and have a lot. But I would never wear Nomination or Pandora. It just wouldn't be my taste at all. I wouldn't even wear it to please someone.

nottaotter · 30/12/2023 11:56

Your mum sounds thoughtful and I can understand her being hurt, I can also understand you not liking it. jewellery is hard to buy even when you know the other persons taste.

I would have feigned delight and bought a couple of charms and worn it in front of my mum. It really would be a very easy thing to do, its not a huge dangly thing.

nottaotter · 30/12/2023 11:57

@tadpolelove that looks nice with the mainly gold silver charms.

RicherThanYews · 30/12/2023 11:57

It won't cost 100s to make it more suitable for your tastes Op. Daisy Charms are fully compatible and cost about £4 each.

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