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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman's weird behaviour at duck pond?

238 replies

QT3point14 · 29/12/2023 20:34

Aibu to find this woman weird?

Dh and I took the kids to our local park today. The park has a little pond with some ducks and swans and we walked down to the water as our kids wanted to see the birds.
At this pond, there was another family consisting of a Mum, Dad, and two young children. This family had brought some bread to feed the ducks. Their kids seemed to be loving it and were giggling away, the animals were loving it and our kids were loving watching it.

A random woman walks by with a toddler. She stops and passive aggressively tells her child using a very loud voice, so the other family can hear her that you shouldn't feed the ducks as it's not allowed. The other family ignored her and continued with what they were doing.

The random woman then took her child over to a rusty, dirty old sign and very loudly read it out to her child. The sign states not to feed the ducks as it can attract vermin. Again the family ignored her. She read the sign very loudly again! She then rants that they are feeding the ducks white bread and this is so super harmful. This behaviour went on for a good 5 minutes with the other family continuing to ignore her.

At this point I'm thinking wtf is she trying to achieve here? Either have the balls to approach the family and share your concerns or mind your own business. What on earth was she hoping to achieve by passive aggressively randting in the background? The park was pretty busy and loads of people were staring at this poor family that just wanted to enjoy some time together.

Is it just me or is this a bit bonkers?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 29/12/2023 20:49

WiddlinDiddlin · 29/12/2023 20:48

https://www.theswansanctuary.org.uk/cause/official-statement-bread-queens-swan-marker/

Not so clear cut though - whilst white bread isn't a great diet, in many areas in winter wild water fowl will starve if people stop feeding them. Its good to encourage people to feed other things, but in places where 'ban the bread' campaigns worked... they saw birds dying of starvation, because people simply stop feeding altogether rather than switching to feeding more appropriate foods.

I live near a swan 'sanctuary' (just an area of the river bank swans are fed and monitored) and we are encourage to feed, including bread, but also advised to feed small amounts in the water not on the path (reduces vermin) and only what they will clear up in a few seconds before offering more. This has worked well and we're no longer seeing starving ducks and swans!

At last, a voice of reason.

Pusheen467 · 29/12/2023 20:50

God the viciousness on this thread. I'm glad people ignore the signs and feed wildlife. Agree with the posters saying bread in moderation is better than nothing.

festivetinseling · 29/12/2023 20:52

Bread is not good for ducks, and the uneaten stuff attracts rats. I wish more people knew this.

The woman probably didn't want to have a go at the people directly and possibly upset their children, so she was talking to her dc loudly enough so they could hear, and maybe learn something.

OpalOrchid · 29/12/2023 20:53

Bread doesn't kill ducks. Starvation will though.

The woman sounds like a pain in the arse know it all.

scorpiogirly · 29/12/2023 20:53

She went about it thw wrong way, but she's right. They shouldn't have been feeding them bread.

Pusheen467 · 29/12/2023 20:53

OpalOrchid · 29/12/2023 20:53

Bread doesn't kill ducks. Starvation will though.

The woman sounds like a pain in the arse know it all.

Like some on this thread.

44PumpLane · 29/12/2023 20:54

Bread is also terrible for ponds and rivers though, it sinks to the bottom and goes manky.....there is obviously a proper term for what happens to it and what it can do to the water but I shall just leave you all with the scientifically accurate "manky"!

I'm team random woman though, regardless of bread being good/bad/indifferent, there was a sign saying not to feed them so the family were in the wrong.

Personally I'm always a fan of the "Wild" swan and duck food, it floats so I can feed the local swans when they are swimming about on the lake rather than having to drop it on the ground as I would with seed, swans wandering about are freaky!

CurlewKate · 29/12/2023 20:55

She was absolutely right.

CurlewKate · 29/12/2023 20:55

And I'd put good money on it not being 5 minutes.

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 29/12/2023 20:56

Most pet shops and garden centres sell bags of duck and swan food. Much better than bread.

ActDottie · 29/12/2023 20:57

JustTalkToThem · 29/12/2023 20:36

Team random woman. Bread is so bad for ducks.

This. It’s all over social media how bad bread is for ducks and that seeds should be given instead.

LittleGreenDragons · 29/12/2023 20:57

Fair enough I did not know bread was harmful for ducks, maybe this family didn't either.

You said it was your local park. Don't you bother reading signs either?

twigolsenisabrat · 29/12/2023 20:58

The sign is there for a reason, bad for ducks, waterfowl & especially stagnant areas of water as it encourages algae. Add in population density increase in an area which are not bothering to feed themselves all adds to problems further down the line like starvation.

https://canalrivertrust.org.uk/things-to-do/canal-and-river-wildlife/keeping-our-ducks-healthy/why-is-bread-bad-for-ducks

Sounds like the communication was not great by anyone. maybe a new sign is needed?

Why is bread bad for ducks?

With nearly three-quarters of the population throwing their leftover bread into canals, rivers, reservoirs and lakes every year, find out why it's important for us all to feed ducks differently.

https://canalrivertrust.org.uk/things-to-do/canal-and-river-wildlife/keeping-our-ducks-healthy/why-is-bread-bad-for-ducks

Mouk · 29/12/2023 21:00

She went about it the right way, but she has a point. Bread is in fact harmful to the ducks etc.

Fallenangelofthenorth · 29/12/2023 21:00

What a ridiculous way for her to try and get her point across. And clearly a waste of time in any case. Why on earth couldn't she have spoken to the family directly like a normal person? Seems judging from some of these replies, conversations and interaction are becoming lost skills, and being replaced by passive aggression and pomposity.

Mouk · 29/12/2023 21:00

Mouk · 29/12/2023 21:00

She went about it the right way, but she has a point. Bread is in fact harmful to the ducks etc.

*wrong way

Original poster
QT3point14 · 29/12/2023 21:01

"You said it was your local park. Don't you bother reading signs either"

Who said I didn't read the sign? I actually didn't notice it until the woman pointed it out. Even if I had noticed it before that, I wouldn't have told the family to stop what they were doing because it's none of my business.

OP posts:
Dymaxion · 29/12/2023 21:01

Why are the ducks even still alive ? Everyone used to feed them bread, so surely they should have died out long ago from all the toxins in the bread ?

SleepyHollowed84 · 29/12/2023 21:01

I think you are the family in this situation. Which is fine. But she was right, regardless of her methods used.

I’d wager you’d be taking to MN if she’d actively spoken directly to you about the dangers of feeding ducks too. But it is ok to learn a lesson and you’ll know for next time.

zigzag716746zigzag · 29/12/2023 21:02

I’m on the side of team random woman.

OpalOrchid · 29/12/2023 21:02

Woman sounds quackers she should have reported the bread feeders to the bill.

Original poster
QT3point14 · 29/12/2023 21:03

Definitely not the family in question but loving the replies!

OP posts:
OpalOrchid · 29/12/2023 21:03

Dymaxion · 29/12/2023 21:01

Why are the ducks even still alive ? Everyone used to feed them bread, so surely they should have died out long ago from all the toxins in the bread ?

You would think duck ponds would be full of dead ducks really.

AreYouThereDog · 29/12/2023 21:04

Dymaxion · 29/12/2023 21:01

Why are the ducks even still alive ? Everyone used to feed them bread, so surely they should have died out long ago from all the toxins in the bread ?

Well, the ducks that everyone used to feed bread to are dead now, you see. It’s not the same ducks.

Dymaxion · 29/12/2023 21:05

You would think duck ponds would be full of dead ducks really.

Unless all the vermin ate them ? Rats are really good swimmers !