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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman's weird behaviour at duck pond?

238 replies

QT3point14 · 29/12/2023 20:34

Aibu to find this woman weird?

Dh and I took the kids to our local park today. The park has a little pond with some ducks and swans and we walked down to the water as our kids wanted to see the birds.
At this pond, there was another family consisting of a Mum, Dad, and two young children. This family had brought some bread to feed the ducks. Their kids seemed to be loving it and were giggling away, the animals were loving it and our kids were loving watching it.

A random woman walks by with a toddler. She stops and passive aggressively tells her child using a very loud voice, so the other family can hear her that you shouldn't feed the ducks as it's not allowed. The other family ignored her and continued with what they were doing.

The random woman then took her child over to a rusty, dirty old sign and very loudly read it out to her child. The sign states not to feed the ducks as it can attract vermin. Again the family ignored her. She read the sign very loudly again! She then rants that they are feeding the ducks white bread and this is so super harmful. This behaviour went on for a good 5 minutes with the other family continuing to ignore her.

At this point I'm thinking wtf is she trying to achieve here? Either have the balls to approach the family and share your concerns or mind your own business. What on earth was she hoping to achieve by passive aggressively randting in the background? The park was pretty busy and loads of people were staring at this poor family that just wanted to enjoy some time together.

Is it just me or is this a bit bonkers?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Genericusername3 · 29/12/2023 21:56

Maybe it’s just me but it just seems to make sense to feed an animal their natural diet anyway, it’s not like they’ve got a duck bakery to go bake up a loaf to eat alongside their pond grub.

Maybe the random woman’s communication method wasn’t ideal in SOME peoples eyes, but hey, we’re all human with our own perspectives, experiences and flaws, it might seem simple to some to approach the family and tell them not to feed the ducks bread but clearly that’s not something she wanted to do.

No one got harmed* so no reason to pay it^ any mind in my humble opinion.

*(aside from the unfortunate bread gobbling ducks - potentially)

^(the communication methods of the random woman that is)

Denimdenimdenim · 29/12/2023 21:58

She had a point...

CurlewKate · 29/12/2023 22:00

@QT3point14 "Also, if I seen someone committing a REAL crime, I'd still stand back and do absolutely nothing because guess what? It's NONE OF MY BUSINESS!"

Jesus Christ-what a lovely society you want to live in!

Justleaveitblankthen · 29/12/2023 22:01

She was 100% correct.
Most ponds have signs these days, for the unitiated or uneducated.
We need more people like Random woman IMO.

Zapzep · 29/12/2023 22:02

I would of booed the duck fascist and thrown bread at them

JustTalkToThem · 29/12/2023 22:03

Wateroverwine · 29/12/2023 21:42

Horrible woman with control issues. Feel sorry for her partner if she has one.
Some people need to learn to mind their business and leave others alone

Are you talking about the OP? /s

WiddlinDiddlin · 29/12/2023 22:04

As far as the womans behaviour...

Well she may think she's doing something good, but she is not going to change other peoples behaviour this way, she'll just make them want to avoid her.

If I felt compelled to say something, I'd introduce myself and say its lovely to see people feeding the ducks, but the ducks would be better off if they were offered duck food, sweetcorn, peas in future.

I suspect the sign is intended to stop people feeding ducks in order to discourage ducks themselves (wild ducks are arguably vermin if they are where you do not want them!) and personally, I'd ignore that.

inapickle2300 · 29/12/2023 22:05

Ducks and geese in our local pond nearly starved as people stopped feeding them bread. There was nowhere local to buy seed so they just didn’t feed them. Local authorities had to back track and say it was ok to give them bread again.

Renamed · 29/12/2023 22:07

Read through the whole thread just to see what you can feed ducks. I’ve seen websites saying they love a bit of lettuce. They really don’t. They come swimming up to see what you’ve got and then they look at you as if they’re embarrassed for you, and swim hastily off.

FluffyFanny · 29/12/2023 22:08

What a strange post!

There is a family completely dis-regarding the signs to not feed the ducks, and a woman trying to highlight their ignorance- albeit badly. Yet you think it's the woman in the wrong!

Why is it the woman's responsibility to speak to the family about the feeding of bread to the ducks? There are signs- it's the family's fault and their own responsibility to read the signs and educate themselves. Anybody who hasn't yet been told, read about or heard about not feeding ducks bread are either stupid or deliberately ignoring the signs.

cloudtree · 29/12/2023 22:08

marquislafayette · 29/12/2023 21:27

Apparently the ‘Ban the Bread’ campaign was started by a bird food company 😮😮😮

This is true. It was an attempt to increase the sales of specialist duck foods. Bread is NOT harmful to ducks geese or swans. Starvation on the other hand is harmful to ducks, geese and swans.

Scorchio84 · 29/12/2023 22:08

Cherrysoup · 29/12/2023 21:23

There was a big campaign some years back re how bad bread is for ducks etc, so people heard and stopped then bird charities were telling us about how all the ducks were starving because people stopped feeding them. Better to take eg peas/lettuce but people don’t. She should have stopped her nonsense and just quietly explained that bread is really bad for them. As pp said, bread is ok for swans, but watch out for the Canada geese, omg, they’re hooligans in bird form and come at you quite aggressively!

Edited

"...but watch out for the Canada geese, omg, they’re hooligans in bird form and come at you quite aggressively!"

Much like their human counterparts in their jackets, over here anyway 😄We've occassionally fed bread in the past but more often oats, they were eaasier for my son who was a toddler at the time to fling at a distance as understandibly he didn't like being swamped by the swans! I'm actually a bit sad writing that because he's past that stage now & it never dawned on me that we wouldn't do it again, locally anyway

Dymaxion · 29/12/2023 22:14

Horrible woman with control issues. Feel sorry for her partner if she has one.

Her partner has a choice, her children almost certainly don't. I say this as someone who was that child, being made to feel deeply uncomfortable in public because of some sudden urge by my parent to be right about whatever random misdemeanor she thought some other member of the public had done.

decionsdecisions62 · 29/12/2023 22:16

She was just alerting people in that weirdly British was where we don't like to be direct. Unfortunately everyone around her lacked grey matter and did not understand her cultural cues.

PleaseBeADecentYear2024 · 29/12/2023 22:16

Bread is harmful to ducks if it's not soaked in water first. If they eat straight bread then any water they drink expands it in their bellies causing pain and harm. Who would want to do that to animals? If you must feed them bread, throw it into the water for them to get it from there. But not too much or it can pollute the waterway, also causing harm. If your child's fun is more important than an animal's well being, then you're the problem. At least feed them the right way.

As for those families who let their little kids chase birds around parks causing them distress, please don't allow it. I told some kids off at the zoo who were relentlessly chasing pigeons who were clearly upset by being chased without a break. No parent in sight.

FreshWinterMorning · 29/12/2023 22:17

She is right though. You shouldn't feed bread to ducks!

NaughtybutNice77 · 29/12/2023 22:19

IWishItCouldBeEasterEveryday · 29/12/2023 20:39

Bread can kill ducks

Kill them? I thought it was more about it being not particularly nutritious rather than harmful. If it was harsh weather and food was scarce bread would be better than nothing. Vermin and crumbs I can understand but again I'd think (excuse pun) use your loaf.

KnowWhatIMean · 29/12/2023 22:20

That’s hilarious OP, this woman sounds batshit. How passive aggressive can you be?! I honestly couldn’t get myself so worked up about something that didn’t involve me that I read a sign very loudly, twice! How embarrassing for her!

inapickle2300 · 29/12/2023 22:21

In fact, here is the sign. Better crap food than no food.

Woman's weird behaviour at duck pond?
justasking111 · 29/12/2023 22:21

I would be harassing the council to provide a new sign that explains why white bread is not great for ducks health rather than just vermin.

HappyMavis · 29/12/2023 22:23

justasking111 · 29/12/2023 22:21

I would be harassing the council to provide a new sign that explains why white bread is not great for ducks health rather than just vermin.

Yes, do that, it's an egg-cellent use of council resources.

uclpp · 29/12/2023 22:23

She should have been civil and spoken to them politely, pointing out the sign. Her loud “parenting” was passive aggressive and ridiculous.

She was in the right though. The sign said don’t feed them. Therefore the family shouldn’t have fed them. Very simple rule. Doesn’t matter what internet research people do - the sign gives orders. Don’t want to abide by them and think you know better- then go somewhere without a sign.

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 29/12/2023 22:26

I know of two arguments against feeding the ducks that I haven't seen mentioned here: One is the increased spread of diseases when lots of birds mill around in a small space, specifically bird flu. The RSPB currently advises against feeding ducks for this reason.

The other reason is that it attracts gulls. Gulls are aggressive and will eat anything, and in the breeding season that includes the other birds' eggs and chicks. Not what you want your kids to see when you've taken them for a lovely trip to the duck pond, is it 😬

NaughtybutNice77 · 29/12/2023 22:30

I'm assuming your Q is either why didn't she approach the family properly, or why didn't she keep her nose out.
I'm guessing she didn't want a confrontation so tried this 'stealthy' mode. She didn't want to risk a confrontation(in front of hers and their children) but was bothered enough to poke her beak in and get her point across....a bit like you...you didnt want a confrontation so just observed (very well) but you were bothered enough that you've posted.
It's not so odd.It's a shame an opportunity has been missed to possible educate someone, maybe through the child. A cheery smile and "Hey I know it says no bread but I guess a little bit won't hurt as long as there's no mess for the rats. I'll tell you what they really love....porridge/peas"

24HoursFromTulseHill · 29/12/2023 22:31

I thought bread was also not recommended to be thrown into freshwater because the high amounts of nutrients in it increases algal blooms and causes water eutrophication.