Are your kids allowed to get their own food?

[Wholetthepugsout]

Do you allow your younger children 4 upwards to go in the kitchen and into the fridge etc? Do they have to ask you first or do you just get all their food and they’re not allowed in the fridge/cupboards?

My kids are young, they go get yoghurt, fruit,water from fridge. Don’t need permission to do so.They will say they’re going to get a snack or drink.

They can get their own, but need to ask first. This is so they don't eat something that is needed for a planned meal or stuff themselves right before a main meal and to ensure they are eating a balance of foods. They can sort their own toast, cereal and sandwiches as well as anything that is eaten 'as is', but anything more needs supervision. The oldest can cook basic meals to a recipe. They are 7 & 9.

Yes, they have always been allowed to get their own food/drink snacks from age 4 or so when they could do it safely. The same with serving themselves dishes from what is cooked for dinner. They never had to ask. If anything was special like fairy cakes for school event, I’d let them know it was off limits. Always had various healthy things they liked in stock to grab- cheese, yogurt, fruit, veggie sticks, raisins, crackers.

Mine is 5 and no, otherwise they'd stuff themselves right before mealtime. If given permission they can get it themselves though

Absolutely. I grew up in the household where I had to ask and was told off for eating things without permission (it was out of necessity as we lived in poverty). It was awful and I don’t want to put my kid through it.

Since mine was 2 he’s had a snack drawer in the pantry he can reach and can go in the fridge whenever he wants. At his height I have mostly fruit, veg, yogurts, cheese etc. Stuff I wouldn’t like him to eat whenever (chocolate, sweets, other stuff) are not reachable.

Same.

Mine are 6 and 8 and can help themselves to anything that doesnt need the oven

No. I supervise so they dont choke.

If they ask for food they usually get it but i use adult judgement about whether that's bringing forward a meal or offeringa healthy alternative to the biscuit they are asking for.

Other than the fruit bowl that had to ask when they were little just to make sure they ate at mealtimes, but obviously by 10 or so they will just grab stuff

Mine had to ask as did I. I never felt deprived and mine have never complained about it either.

Children don’t have great impulse control or always make good choices. We also lived in a village and I worked full time as did their dad and he often worked until very late, so finding we were out of yoghurt or other items would be a problem as we couldn’t just nip out.

Broadly speaking yes. But I’d say something if all the food was gone very quickly, I guess.

DS (9) is the main one who snacks, DD (15) does a bit but mostly different things to him - she’s more likely to make toast or something whereas he wants things to just take. However he knows those things are also for lunch boxes so I think that acts as a bit of a handbrake.

I get cheese strings that only Dd eats so can eat when she wants. Fruit also up for grabs whenever.

In term time they aren’t here long enough to do any real damage. At times when I’m cooking I’m in the kitchen so will usually say no to anything except maybe fruit then - but will put some cut up raw veg on the table usually about that time.

Not without asking.
Although when they asked for a snack the answer was often yes.

DS is 9.

He's allowed yoghurt, bread (as well as things like croissants and brioche), crackers and fruit without asking. He's also allowed whatever drinks he wants (he doesn't drink fizzy stuff as he dislikes the way they feel on his tongue so this is fine as he sticks to water, milk or squash).

Anything else he has to ask for.

when very young mine might get bread, jam, cereal, milk, cheese, peanut butter, crackers, fruit without asking. As soon as they could they learnt to make themselves basic snacks, initially toast, pizza, beans, that sort of thing. Then they moved onto full recipes, often cooking for the family.

Mine have to ask - they are 10 and 12 - as they are avid snackers, and dd1 is overweight. I generally let her snack but have to guide her to a healthy choice. She has asd if that makes any difference. Dd1 is very slim but would fill up on snacks and not eat her meals!

They help themselves to water, milk and squash.

complete access to the kitchen. I might say something if they are grabbing a snack right moments before dinner and ask them to reconsider their choice.

when very little, we just didn’t keep completely unacceptable snack choices out in the open so it wasn’t there to attract attention. . Aka, we hid the chocolate with toddlers, but with teens we don’t bother.

I have to help the 2yo get stuff but the 7yo can help herself after she asks as she would literally eat snacks all day and not eat her dinner.

Oldest is 10 here, they need to ask.

Boring question - snacks that make dishes, how do you deal with that? 9 year old making toast, do they clear up crumbs? Do they clear up their dishes??

They can have whatever whenever. They don’t have to ask permission. They do have to ask if anyone else wants something, because that’s just polite. Eg they can’t just decide to make toast for themselves any more than I can without checking if anyone else also wants toast. And they need to clean up after themselves.

Mine have always been able to have what they want. They usually just want toast or a sandwich if their still hungry before bedtime and they do it themselves .
I never buy cakes biscuits or crisps to snack on

We're generally a '3 meals a day and no snacking' household, so my DC never used to ask for food outside of mealtimes.
Totally changed during covid when I had to supply snacks as they were home learning and I taught from home ‐they both twigged that snacking is 'a thing'.
Now, DC1 (ND) would live in the kitchen if they could, whereas DC2 (NT) has reverted to not being bothered. Neither have free rein to graze in the kitchen; I expect to be asked if they want a snack as it generally involves some prep or cooking (DC1's favourite activity!) -we don't tend to have ready 'snack foods' around. Fruit is an exception; they can have as much of that as they want.

I/we never had to ask and as a result we regulated ourselves and ate sensibly as we knew "goodies" were available 24/7

10 and 8 and yes can sort themselves but they don’t very often.
They know they need to ask before eating anything like biscuits. But they don’t ask that often so I almost always say yes.

Our kitchen was obviously designed by giants; and nobody in our house is tall. My eldest is 8 and can only reach the freezer and one food cupboard. She can take an ice lolly, crisps or fruit herself. She can’t even reach the kitchen tap!