Are your kids allowed to get their own food?

[Wholetthepugsout]

Do you allow your younger children 4 upwards to go in the kitchen and into the fridge etc? Do they have to ask you first or do you just get all their food and they’re not allowed in the fridge/cupboards?

No, mine couldn't (when they were young).
But then, children didn't spend all day grazing in the way so many seem to now.
they ate well at mealtimes and not (routinely) in between meals.

Presumably at 4, or 5, it would involve them having to drag chairs about to climb on to, too ?

Having read the other posts, I'm intrigued by the responses and the easy access to the cupboards in some houses. We do have some snack foods for lunch boxes in the larder, but they're literally bought to last for a week. If anyone helped themselves, we'd be short. Ditto bread, whether I make it or we buy a loaf; if someone decided to take up late-night toast-making we'd run out of bread for lunch box sandwiches. This is why I want to be asked or told, so I don't open an empty cupboard one morning. I also expect anyone who is preparing food to say when they've used up the last of something so it can be replaced promptly.
We tend to just have 'ingredients' bought to prepare specific dishes during the coming week (mince, veg, lentils, butter, halloumi, eggs, dessicated coconut or whatever) as opposed to things which can be picked up and snacked on.

Partially.

I don't keep fridges and cupboards stocked up like some people.
So there isn't endless yogurts and crisps and all that stuff.

The limited amounts limit how much we can eat, but she's welcome to whatever she finds as long as she eats her main meals.

We have a snack draw in fridge which they can help themself to (age 4) is full of fruits, mini cucumbers and baby bells. They will still ask for other snacks and we just direct them to that draw and Say they can have what they like. It's so we know even if they are snacking it's healthy.

Yes. I had a space on the bottom shelf of the fridge that was food she could have at any time (a juice box, cut up carrot slices I pre-portioned, apple slices, 1/2 a peanut butter sandwich, cheese stick----things of that nature). If my DD wanted anything besides those, she would ask.

Mine has always got himself food if hungry.

At age 4 they had to ask.

Now DS 15 cooks dinner and DD 11 makes sandwiches, toast, air fryer snacks

No way when they were younger. I didn't want them eating snacks before dinner and then they wouldn't eat it.

Now Dts are 12 they sort themselves for breakfast and lunch if I'm not doing a family meal, but they still have to ask if it's ok to eg eat the chorizo for lunch in case it was planned for a meal.

They still have to ask if they can have a snack. It's polite.

Kids are 8 and 5. We have a "snack" cupboard with things like pan au chocolat, chocolate pancakes, crisps, cups and plates. They also have a jar of sweets each and free access to the fruit bowl. In the fridge they can help themselves to cheese (cut into sticks), carrot slices, mini cucumbers, tomatoes, yogurt, pepperoni. I keep a shopping list of snacks and essentials on the larder door and they/dh /me just tick the right column when we're running out of something.

Drinkwise, water and milk they can access without asking. Anything else (fruit juice, Fanta etc) they need to ask.

Neither are big snackers.

Ages 7 & 5 - we ask that they ask if they can have snack biscuits, fruit, crisps etc. They're seldom denied what they ask for unless it's close to meal times. But if they're just eating because they're bored or didn't eat enough at meal time in which case we might encourage a better food choice than crisps or chocolate biscuits.

My kids all ask before they get anything to eat, even the teenagers. I don't think I ever told them that they had to ask, they just do. We're not a strict household either, we're very laid back. We always have lots of food readily available too. I've never thought it was out if the ordinary until reading this thread. I can't remember if I asked first when I was growing up.

They have to ask. We aren't made of money and do have to make the shopping last or we will run out of food. There's snacks available etc but they do always need to ask in case I'm using something for a meal etc.. my youngest is also a food hoover who would just happily eat entire loaves of bread one after the other if not given some restrictions.

I only bring foods into the house and have them accessible if I'm fine with them being eaten. With older kids who can reach everything I tell them if there are specific things not to be eaten, and we discuss the weeks meals.

Around age 3 there was a shelf in the fridge and a drawer for snacks. Mine mostly asked before getting anything but that was just their nature. I encouraged them to listen to their body and get things when they wanted to.

My 5 year old doesn't really tend to help herself and will always check she can have something rather than just take it although there's not really a lot she can reach.
She has her own little snack box with soreen bars and that in thats for her to help herself to but even then she'll only have 1 per day. She's also got a bag of sweets and chocolates that's been building up since Halloween sat right next to it but she'll only take 1 a day and checks first.

No, they have to ask for everything. I was brought up the same way, but was part of a big family and otherwise as teenagers we would have been like locusts in the kitchen. Also, the time my children are most likely to get a snack is just before a meal when they're hungry so I keep an eye on the time. I also don't really buy snack foods.

Mine never takes anything except water milk squash or cereal without asking first, even the cereal he would ask until a few months ago when sometimes he needs to make his own easy meal then he wants something after.
i never say no but it’s polite to ask first, he always thanks me for meals also even if I just bring chippy or put a pizza in the oven.

This has really made me think! I lived in the fridge and cupboards when I was younger. They were full of crisps, biscuits and mousse etc. I just can't buy these things now as I'd still just eat them all and I'm overweight.

These days I always have a full fruit bowl and the dc eat from that without asking. There's probably nothing else snacky in the house. Although I suppose they could have toast or cereal, but they don't normally outside of meal times. I genuinely think they're too lazy.

They will hit teens soon, so expecting this to change.

I made ds a low snack cupboard for him around 4 so he could help himself.

I believe in free access.

Not all the time.
Nice water on tap.

After school they can eat Weetabix x 1 bowl or toast x 2 slices with spread and a small apple and they can eat what is left in their lunch box.
Younger kids can ask for an extra snack between meals so can fetch themselves a small apple or a piece of bread and spread.

They all have plenty of nutricious food each meal and a couple of snacks provided during which we sit at the table together and they do not get for themselves. (but might help make or carry to table) These are snacks such crackers and cheese, homus and vegies, cut fruit, home made biscuits, boiled egg, nuts.
They can request milk rather than water with snack.

Sometimes their food for the day is in a lunch box in the fridge and, apart from sitting at table to eat lunch, they can graze anything from their lunch box in the fridge.
They ask for anything else.

I reserve the right to say "no" before a meal, if they have already eaten enough fruit and bread or if I judge that they are thirsty and need to drink water rather than food.

I have one cupboard called "the asking cupboard". This means no one under 19 can access it without asking. Solves 99% of problems.

Usually they ask me "what is there for snack" and they then go and choose something from the options I've given. If I'm not home (since they're 10+) that conversation happens before I go out.

Its not permission, more like information.

Yep, free for all around here

Yes, they had to ask. I now have two Uni students living at home and they still check before they take stuff. If they want the last slices of bread or bacon or milk or something they will check that nobody else wants it first and we have a system where people write we are running out of on a running shopping list so I know what we need to buy. I could never get my head around friends who would complain about their kids hoovering up multipacks in a day that were supposed to last a week or going to the fridge and realising that half the ingredients for dinner had been used in a creative late night snack. It makes for peaceful coexistence.

Dd had to ask first for any food, including the fruit bowl.
I'd have never made her go hungry, but she'd have decided to eat something 10 minutes before dinner.
Some things were limited too as money was tight, so yes, of course she could have a yoghurt or a chocolate mousse, she couldn't have both.

I’m so intrigued by this thread - my DC is only 3 but if I were to set up a snack drawer or anything he’d never be out of the fridge 😳 He asks for seconds at all meals. Can eat his breakfast and be asking for snack an hour later! We’re really struggling to know what to do with the situation! He eats healthily but is heavier than he “should” be going by the centile charts (just over 50th for height, just under 91st for weight although this does fluctuate - he seems to go outwards then take a big stretch up).

Has anyone else been through similar? Is this likely to be a phase?