If you or your child had private education, was it worth the money?

[edithfg]

Just that really. We can afford it with relative ease but would mean one less holiday a year and we’d always be in the home we are in now. It’s nice and lots of room but essentially means we could go further up the ladder. Small sacrifices really and I want to do best for dc. Was it worth the money?

This idea of no real life experience is an interesting one.

my DC certainly have a somewhat “narrow” view of the world. But my DH who had a very different up bringing also had a narrow world view.

by 15, his best mate and neighbour was in a YOI, his pals stole cars, took drugs, robbed and fought. Going to school was “sad”, achieving had you in line for a beating. He’d never been to a theatre, restaurant or on holiday. Singing in a choir or acting in the school play was for “wankers”. Debating, model UN or learning an instrument was unthinkable.

My DC have never seen a fight, heard a teacher be verbally abused or skipped school. They didn’t have the street smarts that seem so important at 15/16. But as young adults they have full confidence in their ability and can navigate pretty much any social setting.

Of course life is a spectrum but I know which is the better end to have one’s experiences.

Two near me do for primary school.

Plymouth College is just over £3K a term for the first few years of primary school.

It gets more expensive the higher up the system you go, but in primary education it's entirely possible.

GDST fees are about £4K a term (so £12K a year for primary, or less). Edit: https://www.gdst.net/schools/fees-and-scholarships/ pick anywhere outside of London and the fees for junior school are significantly cheaper (Portsmouth, for example is £2.8K a term until year 2).

I think most people think of Eton/Harrow/Brighton College/Sevenoaks. Most private schools don't charge anywhere near that.

IMO very much depends on your child and local options. We have one who’s done well in state, good friends, good grades, all round decent experience. She’s had enough great teachers plus has resilience and is fairly academic. Our other child has had an awful experience in state, poor teaching, low expectations, has been bullied, is neurodiverse and was hating school, so we have put him in a great small independent, which we can just about afford, and it’s 100% been the right thing for him. He thrives in the small classes and has much more supportive friends. Our oldest would have hated it I think.

It means they have surplus each year and all they would need to cut back on is a single holiday. Its not hard to work out.

Where did I say kids at private schools are happier? I didn’t. And all you’ve done is produced one article showing no difference in happiness. I’m talking about overall outcomes. In balance children educated in private schools do better. It’s a fact.

Also - the source I provided wasn’t funded by private educators.

I'm in London. But when we've looked at moving outside, like 2-4 hours plus away, the school fees weren't lower and were in some cases higher. I guess in some cases the private school in question had market dominance so could charge a bit of premium possibly. Both of mine got scholarships too for different areas which helped us with the fees.

Re read the OP

Good post.

I got one of those too 😉.

@Baffledandalarmed when we started in private education in 2008, yes the primary fees were lower. This is a consideration you have to weigh very carefully, the fees can be significantly higher at secondary level, depending on what your options are. So when you start down the private road you have to think that through, what you will do if you can't afford the next stage but your DCs friends are all going.

I went to private school, but in a different country, so probably a bit different from here. I think it was a good choice for me as I was very very shy growing up, and the private school was tiny so it was easier for me to make friends. I would have been totally lost in the huge state schools. I did well academically, and the smaller classes gave me confidence to speak up and participate.
My brother, on the other hand, didn’t do well academically as he had additional needs and the school didn’t support him.
I think it depends on the child, and the options nearby.

I have.

Oh I agree!

I was more responding to the PPs (just happened to quote you) who said they couldn't believe it was the cost of one holiday. Which it easily could be at £3K a term if you going on expensive holidays every year and it's a family of three (Hawaii, for example costs about that with decent flights and a decent hotel)

My own fees went from £3K a term to £6K a term whilst I was at school so it is definitely something to consider!

“Do better” that’s a theory- a theory-not fact. And does happiness not factor into your idea of what “better” means? If not, I’m so very sorry for you. Happiness and contentment in life is everything to me. And you say Iv only shown one article? So have you mate! 🤣 you’re funny, soooo butt hurt. Look I’m done here. You do you. Thanks for your points- ones I respect and said I in part don’t fully dispute-but once your anger and seeming keenness to disrespect my experience has come through and I realise that this is a actually a very personal issue to you not a fair argument, Iv lost interest. Plus I’m heading out now. Have a lovely new year 😊

@Baffledandalarmed The other thing that is happening now, and relatively abruptly, at least in our area is merit scholarships are going by the wayside and the schools are prioritising bursaries. We wouldn't have qualified for a bursary but couldnt have afforded two lots of fees without a scholarship. There are parents going through the primary system hoping for merit scholarships that likely won't materialise. I suspect that our very overcrowded grammars will get even more competitive. For population reasons the grammars have to be allowed to expand. It's not fair that the comps have to cope with 10 form entry (and potentially more) while the grammars largely sit tight. (But this is another thread.)

So if they had a surplus as you say, why would they have to forgo one holiday a year, and never move house. That means the surplus is not enough for private education.

Private usually means much better "stuff" in terms of extra curricular activities and cultural capital- because there is much more money to pay for it. As a person who is politically and philosophically opposed to private schools the only thing that might have made me crack was the frantic scurrying around after school to drama and cricket and saxophone and whatever with mine, then going to collect a friend's child who had done all the stuff at school without any need for parental involvement at all!

That isn’t what I said though is it.

It sounds the same as us.

We currently go on 3 holidays a year and are looking to move, the increase in mortgage etc we can cover and continue with holidays.

Or we could stay in currently house and give up a holiday and go down private school route instead.

We put ours on because he has a range of additional needs that could not be met locally. The headteachers in state uniformally dissuaded us. Went white when looking at his profile. Suggested the one special school in our area but that was not suitable either as he was falling between the gap of mainstream and special. It has been worth it. He is unlikely to get to uni or higher education of any sort but his educational experience is good and he is safe. That’s all I care about really but that said we could afford it so know how lucky we were to even have the option.

You have no idea what the OPs financial situation you are assuming.
The fees could be £4000.00 a year or £36,000 a year per child that we were paying.