to think nobody really likes house guests?

[FunnysInLaJardin]

My sister has been here for 4 days, and we get on really well, but even so I found the extra person in my home a little difficult.

Turns out the psychology says we dont generally like house guests invading our space at a very primal level. Who knew!

The things that MNers worry about that have literally never occurred to me to worry about.

Yup!

I like having houseguests! I don't find it stressful or intrusive, and I prefer it to being a houseguest.

I don't mind it, I've had an additional 3 people (best friend and her 2 boys) in my tiny house for 5 days and although it was nice to come home to a quiet house once I'd dropped them home, it was lovely to have them here

I absolutely love having my mum stay, I'd probably let her move in with me TBF, we get on really well and she's great at making herself at home and sticking the kettle on (in comparison to my uncle or gran, who again I'm more than happy to host, but with them it really is hosting)

I wish I had a bigger house so I could have people come to stay comfortably, we have 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom, we're a family of 4 so there's some shifting around of beds when we do have guests, so an extra bedroom, extra bathroom and a decent sized kitchen (because everyone congregates there) would make a huge difference in how comfortable it is to host guests

Same! I cannot stand people staying with us. I’ll do it if they’re travelling to see us of course and am always welcoming and polite but I despise it and can’t wait until they go.

Its not because I dislike them personally, I just love my own space and being able to fully relax and do my own thing without feeling the pressure to “host”.

I hate having to have a conversation with anyone before I've drank at least two coffees. Also not a fan of the extra housework or of guest pets that shit in my garden (we don't have a pet)
Other than that I quite like it. The best vibe is people staying after a night out. Good night out dancing & drinking, back to hang out a bit and No one is chirpy in the morning. Then all out for a fry up.

My sister and I are not ‘houseguests’ to each other, we just stay at each others houses, make ourselves at home and we don’t feel ‘invaded’.

Honestly it is only on MN that I come across people with such small tolerance and lack of ability to adapt to other people. All the families we are close to go off visiting family and friends very happily, host in a happy relaxed way and look forward to close friends and family staying.

OK, now I am older I don’t want to share a bedroom, but am happy on a camping mat with a sleeping bag. There is so much princessy fussing here about shared bathrooms, anything less than a super-king Hypnos bed etc.

Really dislike staying with other people. Hotel all the way, and honestly really dont understand why others wouldn't prefer a hotel too
The people we stay with are either friends or family. All of them are ones we enjoy having a drink and chatting or playing a boardgame with after the DC have gone to bed. Can't do that in a hotel.

Hotels are for holidays when we are travelling to a specific place. Of we are travelling to see people we want to see the people.

I hate having people stay. Luckily we moved into a house with 0 room for guests

Ditto.

And I am an introvert but when I travel to see someone, I actually want to see them and those relaxed late night chats/board games or cuppas on the sofa are the best bit to me.

I like my own space to recharge afterwards and I couldn't do it for a week but a weekend staying with friends is so nice!

Also - to state the obvious - hotels are expensive. We can afford it but would rather spend the money on something else if friends have the space to host us.

Honestly it is only on MN that I come across people with such small tolerance and lack of ability to adapt to other people. All the families we are close to go off visiting family and friends very happily, host in a happy relaxed way and look forward to close friends and family staying

Honestly, it's not about being intolerant of people- I love spending time with friends and family- it's what life is all about, I enjoy it. It's just that I also then like to have my own space when I go home. It's really not that deep and it's not about hating other people or despising the human race. It just enjoy having time and space alone afterwards is all. We are all different and not everyone is the same. It doesn't make them wrong and you right. There is a huge middle ground between having people stay all the time and being a shut in who never answers the door. Its perfectly possible to enjoy your own space and enjoy the company of others.

Agree! I thought I was the odd one out for feeling like this!
the worst is mil she would literally move in and stay for weeks on end I can’t understand it!!!

I don't like it either and for those saying everyone they know loves nothing more than hosting for weeks and weeks on end, I can tell you that they don't. I went back to work yesterday and literally every single person there said they are bloody relieved that their house guests have gone home and they found the entire thing stressful and tiring- we all talked about it yesterday. It doesn't mean they don't like their families, but hosting IS stressful and it's nice to have your own space back. That doesn't make you some kind of weird hermit FFS.

It seems some people like it to save money on hotels and still have a weeke d/free holiday. Thank you for your honesty.

It's the extremity of it I find weird.

Nobody here has said they love it for weeks on end I don't think. It is disruptive but it's so short term that it does seem over dramatic to me for people to say they hate it and crave their own space etc etc.

If you've really had people staying for weeks then fair enough but if hosting or staying for 3 nights is that painful for you then yes, I do think that's silly.

And because some of us actually like spending the extra time with friends and family we don't see often. Crazy right?

If you mean me, I said that I enjoy staying with friends because it's more relaxed. Saving money is a bonus not the main reason, if my friends didn't offer to host, I would still go and see them and stay in a hotel.

I don't hate it but I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed it. I far prefer being able to relax in my own home and hang out in my PJs when I feel like it, rather than feeling like I have to get dressed and ensure everyone gets the breakfast they want, sort lunch etc. I work long hours and so when I finish I want to relax, not have to cater to people. I don't really see what's so baffling about that.

I like people staying for 2 nights, 3 nights max .

It's good to have quality time to catch off without having to go to separate locations, and I enjoy cooking something a bit different.

Any longer than that and it's too much. DHs friends came to stay for 4 nights and it was far too much - there is a bit of a backstory as he is divorced from first wife and his DP is pregnant with apparently the only child ever to be born in the world - so I may have been a bit judgemental.

I’m not a fan of people staying over or indeed staying at someone else’s house myself.

I don’t think we’ve ever had anyone stay overnight in our home or ever stopped overnight ourselves at someone else’s house.

It just feels like a massive imposition that I’d rather do without.

I'm not particularly keen in staying in other peoples houses though.

There is a Chinese proverb "After three days, fish and visitors begin to stink". I think there is a lot of truth in this.

It probably depends on one's upbringing. As a child, I frequently stayed over at others' houses, and my family occasionally had overnight guests, so it seemed normal to me. Other people might never have stayed over, or had others stay over. It's true it is an imposition: you cannot truly "be yourself" in your own home when there are visitors.

Love people, love my friends, love my family. But I don't enjoy being a guest or having guests stay. I like to meet up with people, have a great catch up and a chat, lunch, drinks etc and then go home to chill out and decompress.

I had BIL stay for 6 weeks. After that I turned the spare
room into a dressing/gaming/laundry room. No chance of a bed ever being back in there!

I actually generally like guests but I'm quite good at just getting on with normal day to day things rather 'hosting'. But I absolutely HATE staying with other people. My sister lives in a holiday type destination and every year that we don't go acts terribly offended. I'd love to go and stay in a hotel, have some days out and dinners etc with them but not actually sleeping there, bumping into BIL on his way out of the toilet, going to bed when they do etc etc. Obviously I'd never tell them!

I completely agree with this. I'm an only child and so were my parents so we had a very small family and I am not used to lots of people staying over. Growing up, I became used to my own space and it became normal for me. I think that's probably why I don't like it now.

There is a Chinese proverb "After three days, fish and visitors begin to stink". I think there is a lot of truth in this.
Indeed. But some people on here seek to feel that after 8 minutes visitors stink.

I like relaxing in my pyjamas watching what I want and making no conversation. But I'm not so rigid about that that I can't cheerfully sacrifice that for a very small percentage of the evenings in the year for the benefit of seeing people I don't often see.