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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think nobody really likes house guests?

148 replies

FunnysInLaJardin · 27/12/2023 20:41

My sister has been here for 4 days, and we get on really well, but even so I found the extra person in my home a little difficult.

Turns out the psychology says we dont generally like house guests invading our space at a very primal level. Who knew!

OP posts:
EsmeSusanOgg · 27/12/2023 20:51

Couple of days is lovely. More than a week is hard. My MIL regularly stays 2 nights which is lovely. Enough time to enjoy company, but also socially recharge.

JustOneMoreBaileys · 27/12/2023 20:52

It's true that guests, like fish, start to smell after 3 days.

Grin
spriots · 27/12/2023 20:53

I love having people I like to stay - really like being able to socialise in a relaxed way

Obviously people I don't like are another story

roarrfeckingroar · 27/12/2023 20:54

I lobe having people here but I hate the clearing up and changing beds and extra house work. It's nice for the kids and extra pairs of hands to entertain the toddler / handle the baby.

TheSuggestedAmendment · 27/12/2023 20:55

I don’t mind houseguests. I like the late night relaxed chat. 3 days is enough tho.

EsmeSusanOgg · 27/12/2023 20:55

DappledThings · 27/12/2023 20:46

It's nice for a few days. It's different to the everyday, DC love seeing their cousins and having GPs staying.

It's a bit disruptive but in a nice way.

But then I'm not one of those MNers who find a knock at the door an outrageous event.

I quite like a knock at the door, as long as folk are not offended if we are out/ busy. Had a friend pop over with his toddler today (they got caught in the rain) we had tea and a catch up. The kids played. House was a state but no one cared.

TheWrongAllmanBrother · 27/12/2023 20:56

You don’t understand the definition of “phobia”. Emetophobia in particular can be extremely debilitating and have significant impacts on behaviour and lifestyle. This time of year is extremely difficult for us.

Catsknowbest · 27/12/2023 20:57

Just had BIL here for 7 days. He was here for 3 weeks after an accident in Oct. He is no trouble, had a very rough year, partner dumped him as well and we do have spare room. But even so I get that weird feeling of not being myself in my own home after a few days. Small things as well like can't dash across hallway in just towel after shower (bungalow) have to remember dressing gown and can't stagger to toilet half dressed in middle of night 😅

Greenfinch7 · 27/12/2023 20:59

Love houseguests- for me it is absolutely the best way to see friends. The real conversations and close moments of understanding usually happen during moments that you don't get to have with regular guests who just come for a meal.

Newchapterbeckons · 27/12/2023 21:00

I don’t mind close family staying. My mum, sil, bil, mil as I don’t feel the need to ‘entertain ‘ but otherwise no, not really. It’s exhausting.
Do you have to get showered and dressed before seeing them in the morning or do you wear a dressing gown?
Isn’t it awkward sharing bathrooms? Over breakfast? Too much time with them??? How do you get rid?
Ahhhhh no. I can’t imagine having anyone other than very close family members to stay.

BananaSplitsss · 27/12/2023 21:00

I hate it . Hate staying anywhere too.

Newchapterbeckons · 27/12/2023 21:01

Greenfinch7 · 27/12/2023 20:59

Love houseguests- for me it is absolutely the best way to see friends. The real conversations and close moments of understanding usually happen during moments that you don't get to have with regular guests who just come for a meal.

I have plenty of moments like that when I see close friends. We don’t need to be tired/drunk or in nightwear.

BananaSplitsss · 27/12/2023 21:02

Greenfinch7 · 27/12/2023 20:59

Love houseguests- for me it is absolutely the best way to see friends. The real conversations and close moments of understanding usually happen during moments that you don't get to have with regular guests who just come for a meal.

I get this and I was cool with it when I was single and staying at my mates. Not now I’m older and married with children. It’s weird . I loathe it now.

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 27/12/2023 21:04

I happily deposited my sister at the airport today - 4 nights is more rhan enough, she is sooo annoying!!

Mrsgreen100 · 27/12/2023 21:05

Two nights is my limit then they kinda go off

5128gap · 27/12/2023 21:05

Its fine if you can put them in their own room and you don't need to share a bathroom with them. If you have at least two sitting rooms so you (and they) can get some peace and quiet if wanted. If you have the sort of relationship where they will make a drink/snack for themselves. If they have similar housekeeping standards and tolerance levels of mess as you. If they at least offer to make a contribution to the costs. If they help out. If you know they'll reciprocate, and they live somewhere good. Otherwise it's pretty rubbish tbh.

Ecnerual · 27/12/2023 21:05

Oh no, we're currently staying with a family member. I hope they're not hating having us here too much 🙈

strawberriesarenot · 27/12/2023 21:07

Loathe it, so exhausting. I hate staying in other people's houses too.

mayorofcasterbridge · 27/12/2023 21:07

It's a bit stressful even if it's someone really dear to me.

Itsbeginingtolookalotlikexmas · 27/12/2023 21:07

I like have people to stay for a night or two. Maybe not 4 nights.

Thisreallyisntmyproblem · 27/12/2023 21:08

Had MIL/FIL for 3 months a few years back. And Bro/SIL stay regularly for weeks on end, longest was nearly a year.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 27/12/2023 21:10

Hate it. Dh's friend split with his wife. Had his campervan to sleep in on the drive (no spare room). But he only slept in it. If we weren't up when he wanted breakfast he'd start banging on the door to get us up.

Expected him to get himself somewhere near sorted in roughly 2 weeks. Misplaced hope. Had to push suggestions for accommodation when he'd done nothing after 2 weeks.

He stayed for 8 weeks. I was ready to bury him under the (yet to be completed):patio.
He proved to be selfish, inconsiderate, entitled, greedy & tight. Amazed his wife tolerated him for so long.

Never again.

Newchapterbeckons · 27/12/2023 21:11

5128gap · 27/12/2023 21:05

Its fine if you can put them in their own room and you don't need to share a bathroom with them. If you have at least two sitting rooms so you (and they) can get some peace and quiet if wanted. If you have the sort of relationship where they will make a drink/snack for themselves. If they have similar housekeeping standards and tolerance levels of mess as you. If they at least offer to make a contribution to the costs. If they help out. If you know they'll reciprocate, and they live somewhere good. Otherwise it's pretty rubbish tbh.

I mean what are the actual chances of someone meeting that v.long list 😂
i will add one to the list if you don’t mind. Similar values around alcohol consumption - nothing worse than someone that drinks their way through your wine collection within hours nor the sheer misery of being gasping for a stiff one and being given a thimble of warm wine. Or guests like mine in the past that start promptly at midday, and we are not keen drinkers before supper. It makes for a very uneven experience!! Friends of ours are often pie eyed by lunch time on ‘holiday’

LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow · 27/12/2023 21:12

Such a relief when guests leave. There are about three who I genuinely don’t mind, the ils are lovely but always come for at least two weeks (four once), they don’t help, are fussy about food and clutter everywhere up with all their things. We are always hugely relieved when they go and we can all relax! They are here now, another five days to go …..

sassyduck · 27/12/2023 21:12

I'm mean. Had my dad here for a fortnight. In-laws coming for 3 nights and I'm not looking forward to the visit at all!