Page 26 | To be disappointed with SILs decision re new baby.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 27/12/2023 18:58

LSTMS30555 · 27/12/2023 18:54

It's a wonder anyone is alive giving all the medical advice we apparently now know!

It's actually amazing man kind has been living as long as they have.

It is amazing… I mean, I have 6 kids and all have survived to 10+ (including one with a life limiting condition that previously would have seen her die very young)

My great grandmother had 15 and lost 6 to measles and 4 to TB.

it is truly amazing how much better things are with all the medical advice we know now

Fancyabikky · 27/12/2023 18:59

Guess you’ve never witnessed your child catch something that they couldn’t fight & end up in a&e on breathing support???
yeah i don’t blame your SIL i still have a sign on my son’s pushchair saying please don’t touch me your germs are too big for me to fight. He’s 1…..the amount of people when were out that feel they have a right to dive into his pushchair / touch his hands 🤢🤢🤢
I don’t care if its “family” or not some people are very selfish when it comes to babies. Cast your mind back to covid and how many people knew they had it but still mingled or told at a later date “oh yeah me and the kids tested positive at your party but we felt fine”

Tigger1895 · 27/12/2023 19:00

Some health agencies are recommending that young babies cocoon due to the high levels of RSV doing the rounds at the mo. Maybe they are just trying to reduce interaction rather than cut it off completely

TeddyBearCherx · 27/12/2023 19:02

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CantFindMyMarbles · 27/12/2023 19:03

not your kid not your choice.
you don’t have to have medical reasons to set boundaries for your baby.
I didn’t bother with my daughter but I wouldn’t be so disrespectful and ignorant as to moan about someone else’s decision.

Redrosesandsunsets · 27/12/2023 19:04

Not everyone listens to basic words spoken to them. Facts. And this is why people need to implement boundaries and go a step further to do so. Sometimes people just do what they want no matter what you say. Good on her for having a sign. She could make signs and sell them for new moms - big ups to her.

Sennelier1 · 27/12/2023 19:06

YABU I would've done the same if I had the guts then.

ScreamingBeans · 27/12/2023 19:06

She's fucking mental.

As is everyone on this thread who thinks yabu.

MarvellousMonsters · 27/12/2023 19:14

Well considering he's not breastfed and there fire has zero immune protection it's probably sensible not to have him passed around by everyone. However all babies need physical contact so I'm more concerned that he's spend significant amounts of time in a crib/moses basket, and not being held by his mum & dad.

RandomButtons · 27/12/2023 19:17

mayorofcasterbridge · 27/12/2023 18:07

WTAF is "medical respect"????

This place gets more insane by the day!

Show quote history

Respect for medical advice. You’re the one who’s insane if you can’t respect someone’s wishes to go by sensible medical advice.

PerthesMum87 · 27/12/2023 19:18

I understand why your disappointed however, although baby has no medical conditions (that you know about) it tends to be recommended by midwives to limit who can hold your newborn (until the first injections) and to not allow kissing etc at all. I guess it’s probably something that came in from covid however, I know my midwife said not to because it’s flu season, there’s croup going around etc. a small cold can have a significant affect on 3 weeks old. Yes, most will probably be ok however, you have no idea if your SIL babies is one who will be ok, or, like my nephew was, admitted into hospital at 3 weeks old with croup and ended up an induced coma. He’s fine now, but spent the first 6 weeks in hospital. It’s the midwives/health visitors job to provide the recommendations to reduce risk of infection and your SIL responsibility as a new mum whether to follow it. The best you can do is respect her choices and know that cuddles are coming (probably after the first injections)

Snowdogsmitten · 27/12/2023 19:22

Whippetlovely · 27/12/2023 18:20

Sounds a bit OTT , to be honest I think if people are that worried about thier babies getting sick then they would breastfeed them and make sure they have the antibodies from mum to protect them from getting sick. She’s not so therefore putting her baby at risk is her own doing

In the bin. Now.

thebestinterest · 27/12/2023 19:22

😂 that’s hilarious

Calliopespa · 27/12/2023 19:25

PerthesMum87 · 27/12/2023 19:18

I understand why your disappointed however, although baby has no medical conditions (that you know about) it tends to be recommended by midwives to limit who can hold your newborn (until the first injections) and to not allow kissing etc at all. I guess it’s probably something that came in from covid however, I know my midwife said not to because it’s flu season, there’s croup going around etc. a small cold can have a significant affect on 3 weeks old. Yes, most will probably be ok however, you have no idea if your SIL babies is one who will be ok, or, like my nephew was, admitted into hospital at 3 weeks old with croup and ended up an induced coma. He’s fine now, but spent the first 6 weeks in hospital. It’s the midwives/health visitors job to provide the recommendations to reduce risk of infection and your SIL responsibility as a new mum whether to follow it. The best you can do is respect her choices and know that cuddles are coming (probably after the first injections)

Yes I don’t know why people are
acting as though the baby is 15 and has been locked away from society and never been allowed to interact with family. The baby is three weeks old. The most the baby would even notice was that they didn’t smell like mum. Around two or three months they get very interested in faces and socialisation - and even then it’s mostly recognising primary caregivers - but at this stage they feed and sleep. End of.

thebestinterest · 27/12/2023 19:26

Those of you saying SIL is right are ABSOLUTE LOONS. 😭😂

Let’s not pretend that putting up a sign isn’t absolutely anti social. C’mon now! Sil sounds a bit young and naive. Poor child!

I never had to put up any ridiculous signs instructing my visitors on how to behave. That would be batshit!

Snowdogsmitten · 27/12/2023 19:26

Tigger1895 · 27/12/2023 19:00

Some health agencies are recommending that young babies cocoon due to the high levels of RSV doing the rounds at the mo. Maybe they are just trying to reduce interaction rather than cut it off completely

Yep. It was RSV that put my three week old on a ventilator in intensive care for a fortnight, and another really common virus that gave her meningitis at six weeks.

All caught from fucking visitors I’d been chilled about having round.

Watching her tiny heart be restarted in resus was genuinely horrific.

So I’m not ‘bonkers’ for thinking actually, the SIL is probably quite sensible. I wish I’d been.

ItsNotOkItsNotTheEnd · 27/12/2023 19:26

-Doesn't have a relationship with her own mum or biological family to support
-recovering from a c section wound
-angry that breastfeeding had to come to a end premature

much longed for after being told she can't have children

This is a potential mixing pot for PND or anxiety. Only they know as a family where the sign etc is stemming from but I would tread carefully. Saying that I was raging that family and friends were quick to offer to hold or comfort my baby but not one offered to make their own cup of tea. I don't expect all the crap about people coming over to clean but it's exhausting having gone through a major change and then to have to play host to everyone who shows up expecting a cuddle.

ToWhitToWhoo · 27/12/2023 19:28

Whippetlovely · 27/12/2023 18:20

Sounds a bit OTT , to be honest I think if people are that worried about thier babies getting sick then they would breastfeed them and make sure they have the antibodies from mum to protect them from getting sick. She’s not so therefore putting her baby at risk is her own doing

Breastfeeding will only protect a baby against bugs which the mum has had, and to which she has developed antibodies (and not always these), There are a lot of new viruses circulating at the moment.

Juleslovesmaths · 27/12/2023 19:28

Seems a bit controlling - just expect people to ask if a cuddle is ok ?

Elisi · 27/12/2023 19:30

People 'want a cuddle' because the instinct to hold and protect a newborn is stamped into our DNA, and it's very hard to resist x

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 27/12/2023 19:32

Elisi · 27/12/2023 19:30

People 'want a cuddle' because the instinct to hold and protect a newborn is stamped into our DNA, and it's very hard to resist x

Sorry, protect from what? That "explanation" sounds completely made up.

Bundeena · 27/12/2023 19:34

The sign is quite extreme but maybe necessary if the family have expectations that you can just pick up someone else's newborn. I wouldn't expect to be able to pick up the baby, and definitely wouldn't kiss it. My sister in law has a 4 month old. We've visited twice (they live quite far from us) and I've held the baby once. I think that's totally normal. On the last visit I didn't hold the baby at all - it was either being fed/napping on mum or happy in its bouncer /gym so no need for me to disturb her and pick her up - she's not a toy!

Heatherjayne1972 · 27/12/2023 19:34

I say fair play new mum. Fair play

the sign itself might be a bit OTT but the she clearly feels that it’s necessary

rule 1 of new baby in family -
never ever pick baby without express permission of mum
Mum is boss. Mum gets to say yes or no to cuddles
no argument. No discussion

StaunchMomma · 27/12/2023 19:35

I mean, the sign is a lot BUT there's so much going round at the moment, including quite nasty fluey viruses etc- I can see why they might feel a bit anxious about their little one being cuddled up to loads of different people who've been out & about mixing.

I was a bit reluctant with lots of cuddling visitors (no signs or refusals to hold but held off all but a few people for a while) due to a friend of mine's baby ending up in intensive care thanks to an (unbeknownst to them) unvaccinated child of a friend spreading measles at a party. Really scared me at a time where you're not always thinking super rationally.

Give them a bit of time to chill and let bugs play out, hopefully they'll come round.

Cerealkiller4U · 27/12/2023 19:40

ankara · 26/12/2023 09:02

Respecting that all parents are quite within their rights to determine interaction between others and their babies, I am very disappointed and a bit 🙄 at SILs decision to put up a big sign at baby's cradle saying no touching , no lifting, no kissing.
There are no medical reasons for this. Baby is three weeks old.
None of the family have been allowed to do the above unless baby has been handed to family to give a bottle or r change baby.
I understand; that this is their first and is of course most precious but we are all a bit and also disappointed as we love babies and we're so looking forward to cuddles .
Brother just goes along with her.
Is this a new thing? My kids are nearly teens now and I've not seen this before .

I had a really premature baby. They weighed 2lbs. They came home weighing 4lbs and everyone wanted to touch them and I hated it. I defo suffered from PND and I myself spent nearly 18 months in hospital after my baby was born. However there was a month between my baby coming home and my long hospital stay where I could be with them and take them out

i hated it. I hated everyone wanting to touch or look or to say how cute. It made my skin crawl

do you think she’s suffering with that? Me and my baby nearly died and I was so worried someone would take them away. Or give them germs which meant they died.

of course it was way out of reality but it truly terrified me that I’d gone through so much for them to then cruelly be taken away