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AIBU?

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Original poster

Unwanted male attention at work

104 replies

Poiou45 · 24/12/2023 23:21

I would appreciate some advice on how to deal with this - now in my 40s!

Unfortunately, I have always had a lot of attention from men, which made me suspicious of many of them. Now in my 40s, I still look young (I was ID-Ed today for buying wine…). The issue is that I am now more senior at work, and many sector heads (all male - same ranking) are coming to my desk a lot to chat. Over the years, they have started to give me preferential treatment, and now others are noticing and making comments. I am good at my job and a good team player, but others are commenting I am getting better treatment due to my good looks. This is insulting, I find, but equally and given my past experiences with many men, I am now doubting a little if their treatment of me is only because of my work.

Any suggestions? Or shall I wait a few years - when I am old to see?!

OP posts:
Cheesyfootballs01 · 24/12/2023 23:34

Oh dear… this isn’t going to go well for you OP.

GrandParade · 24/12/2023 23:36

And this just came to a head at 11.21 pm on Christmas Eve?

Whentheboatcomein · 24/12/2023 23:37

oooooft wow

TheOccupier · 24/12/2023 23:39

Samantha?

Mammyloveswine · 24/12/2023 23:39

GrinGrinGrin

brainworms · 24/12/2023 23:41

🍿

PossumintheHouse · 24/12/2023 23:41

Uh huh. Merry Christmas.

Erberts · 24/12/2023 23:47

😂😂 been on the cooking sherry already op?

PaperDoIIs · 24/12/2023 23:47

Was it morning when you woke up?

WandaWonder · 24/12/2023 23:49

Not sure how you leave the castle I mean house

Densol57 · 24/12/2023 23:51

Sorry OP - those on here are going to rip you to pieces Im afraid
First rule of MN is never to talk about how good looking you are or how much money you have 🤣

yesyouareyouare · 24/12/2023 23:54

Pretty much everyone is ID'd for buying wine... it's store policy, not because you look young 😂

Floogal · 25/12/2023 00:02

Nice humble brag 😏

BIWI · 25/12/2023 00:02

I always found that I got preferential treatment not only because I'm so beautiful, but also because I'm such a teeny tiny, and look so young for my actual age. It's such a drag having so many men slavering over me. You have all my sympathy @Poiou45.

worstgiftawardgoestome · 25/12/2023 00:04

lol

ErrolTheRednosedDragon · 25/12/2023 00:05

The obvious solution is to WFH. HTH.

IamnotSethRogan · 25/12/2023 00:10

Jesus people are being a bit harsh. It's not very friendly to give someone shit because they're uncomfortable about getting unwanted male attention. Ffs.

PaperDoIIs · 25/12/2023 00:11

IamnotSethRogan · 25/12/2023 00:10

Jesus people are being a bit harsh. It's not very friendly to give someone shit because they're uncomfortable about getting unwanted male attention. Ffs.

It's more because they got ID'd at 40 Grin

determinedtomakethiswork · 25/12/2023 00:11

Who is that woman who used to write in the daily mail about how she was treated unfairly because she was so beautiful and she wasn't beautiful?

Moveoverdarlin · 25/12/2023 00:13

determinedtomakethiswork · 25/12/2023 00:11

Who is that woman who used to write in the daily mail about how she was treated unfairly because she was so beautiful and she wasn't beautiful?

Samantha Brick.

Jumpingthruhoops · 25/12/2023 00:16

Poiou45 · 24/12/2023 23:21

I would appreciate some advice on how to deal with this - now in my 40s!

Unfortunately, I have always had a lot of attention from men, which made me suspicious of many of them. Now in my 40s, I still look young (I was ID-Ed today for buying wine…). The issue is that I am now more senior at work, and many sector heads (all male - same ranking) are coming to my desk a lot to chat. Over the years, they have started to give me preferential treatment, and now others are noticing and making comments. I am good at my job and a good team player, but others are commenting I am getting better treatment due to my good looks. This is insulting, I find, but equally and given my past experiences with many men, I am now doubting a little if their treatment of me is only because of my work.

Any suggestions? Or shall I wait a few years - when I am old to see?!

Personally, if you're being noticed, I wouldn't worry about why that is. You don't need to prove/disprove either theory. Just continue as you are and let your work do the talking.

Jumpingthruhoops · 25/12/2023 00:23

Densol57 · 24/12/2023 23:51

Sorry OP - those on here are going to rip you to pieces Im afraid
First rule of MN is never to talk about how good looking you are or how much money you have 🤣

This is true - but complete bullshit. Some women are naturally beautiful. They should be allowed to say so.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 25/12/2023 04:49

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Self praise is no recommendation.
Samantha Brick.

Fraaahnces · 25/12/2023 05:49

I think you just need to let them know you don’t have time to chat. You’re very busy.

CostedStrikeRate · 25/12/2023 06:16

I think all you can do, OP, is just keep working and maybe be slightly less chatty with them.
Take care of yourself.
Merry Xmas Xx