Page 6 | DH has not done any food prep for Christmas today

Dallidalli · 2023-12-24T20:36:48+00:00

Just came home from work, walking all day through the gale winds. DH all day home with DC. Initially I was delighted as he tidied up and cleaned the bath room. I looked into the fridge and fuck all prep for dinner tomorrow was done. Yesterday we discussed that I'll go and get last minute bits and bobs from the shops and he stays home with DC and starts Christmas prep. He did volunteer to do the bathroom but really it was his fucking turn. I've not slept as DC is sleeping in our bed and has been twitching all night so my nerves are blank I know that and frankly I do think I'm slightly unreasonable and unfair but why the hell is it so difficult to go clean a bath AND get food prepped?? DC is toddler age so I get it's challenging. I'm just pissed off I snapped at him yesterday too while wrapping presents. I asked him whats his plan for tomorrow (today) and he jokingly said "survive" and I blew the lid and told him I don't find it funny anymore (he says that joke a lot) and should start acting like an adult and that he did not contribute a thing to decorating, planning, gift organising....but most of his lazy attitude is making my anxiety worse as I can't trust he goes and just does the things that need done without me spelling it out for him. I'm pissed off because all communication has broken down towards Christmas and I shout and he shuts down and that makes me even more angry because I find that cowardly behaviour. Yes I am overtired, stressed, angry, overwhelmed, overstimulated and sad. I just don't trust he got my back at all and he might also be struggling. Honestly I just want to cancel all plans for tomorrow with his family as it seems I'm the only actually giving a shit. Sorry for rant.

Zapzep · 25/12/2023 00:07

topnoddy · 24/12/2023 22:05

Ahh Bisto !

Doesn't gravy come out of a packet as granules then ?

Can't stomach the stuff myself .

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Why would you make bisto gravy the day before?

Tiedtoatwat · 25/12/2023 00:14

ExtraOnions · 24/12/2023 20:52

What needs prepping ?? 5 of us tomorrow, and I’ve not prepped anything…

Well, there's 5 of us too, and I like to make Christmas Day as easy as possible.

I do sausagemeat stuffing - everyone's favourite part of the meal! - and I like the breadcrumbs thick so I do them by hand. 3 sliced plain loaves - and I did the bread weeks back and it's been in the freezer. We also like the onions chopped very fine, and 2 onions took me over an hour (I need a device of some kind!!) DC1 put it together with the sausagemeat and stuck it in the oven.

I then peeled and chopped 3 bags of carrots, 3 backs of parsnips, 5kg of potatoes, and prepped a bag of brussels sprouts and boiled the ham. Put butter and streaky bacon on the turkey and stuck it in a Roastabag ready for the oven. Took the stuffing out and cut off the burned bit before sticking it back in.

In between times, I cooked another dinner for a family member staying overnight.

Cleaning in between times and loading/unloading the dishwasher took hours. BUT everything is ready to go tomorrow, which was kinda the aim.

I'm also annoyed but I copped for most of it too. H took out the recycling, emptied the bin, and unloaded the dishwasher once, before getting pissed and fucking off to bed. The DCs have made themselves pretty scarce too.... so I get it @Dallidalli!! It's so frustrating!!

But.... the fuckers will have to cook it all tomorrow. I've more than done my share. All the planning, ordering, shopping, presents, cards, wrapping... and then they wonder why I no longer look forward to Christmas!!!

madeinmanc · 25/12/2023 05:05

I love the implication that's being made that I somehow eat ready meals. Like, no. I cook from scratch every day and I'm an excellent cook. I just don't take hours to prep some veg and make stuffing. I'm afraid most British people can't cook and that's why they think it's a big deal to prep some veg and get all stressed and take hours.

Nomagicflute · 25/12/2023 07:38

PaprikaPlease · 24/12/2023 22:15

To the people who say OP is mad for prepping, the best christmas dinners I’ve had were all were all heavily prepped in advance by people who love to cook. Nobody does mince pies on Christmas morning and Christmas puds are often made months before. Food like red cabbage is fine eaten on the day but elevated to dreamy status a day or two after.

I’m too lazy to do much beforehand myself and happy with a basic lunch with trimmings but fully acknowledge that’s what the best cooks I know do - especially those who love cooking and the really good cooks of the older generation. I love a christmas dinner prepared by a proper foodie chef and only wish I could pull it off myself. Don’t think OP is at all mad - probably just has high standards - and hope she makes it up with her other half.

Just for the record!

It's not mad to prep, but it's the icing on the cake, it's optional.

If OP is exhausted and suffering mental health issues or ridiculously busy and her OH isn't doing it when it's his family it's just not worth the stress or arguments- that's the point. It's not an insult to people who prepare.

Nomagicflute · 25/12/2023 07:43

Tiedtoatwat · 25/12/2023 00:14

Well, there's 5 of us too, and I like to make Christmas Day as easy as possible.

I do sausagemeat stuffing - everyone's favourite part of the meal! - and I like the breadcrumbs thick so I do them by hand. 3 sliced plain loaves - and I did the bread weeks back and it's been in the freezer. We also like the onions chopped very fine, and 2 onions took me over an hour (I need a device of some kind!!) DC1 put it together with the sausagemeat and stuck it in the oven.

I then peeled and chopped 3 bags of carrots, 3 backs of parsnips, 5kg of potatoes, and prepped a bag of brussels sprouts and boiled the ham. Put butter and streaky bacon on the turkey and stuck it in a Roastabag ready for the oven. Took the stuffing out and cut off the burned bit before sticking it back in.

In between times, I cooked another dinner for a family member staying overnight.

Cleaning in between times and loading/unloading the dishwasher took hours. BUT everything is ready to go tomorrow, which was kinda the aim.

I'm also annoyed but I copped for most of it too. H took out the recycling, emptied the bin, and unloaded the dishwasher once, before getting pissed and fucking off to bed. The DCs have made themselves pretty scarce too.... so I get it @Dallidalli!! It's so frustrating!!

But.... the fuckers will have to cook it all tomorrow. I've more than done my share. All the planning, ordering, shopping, presents, cards, wrapping... and then they wonder why I no longer look forward to Christmas!!!

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Then do less next year and see what happens. If they complain you can say I didn't realise you appreciated those things, want to help next year.

Though it does suck women always get stuck with gift buying and cards. I stopped helping with my OH side of the family. Why did I feel responsible if his mums gift wasn't on time or he was stressed? And by not doing it and me saying im not involved, he just did it instead.

Nomagicflute · 25/12/2023 07:46

madeinmanc · 25/12/2023 05:05

I love the implication that's being made that I somehow eat ready meals. Like, no. I cook from scratch every day and I'm an excellent cook. I just don't take hours to prep some veg and make stuffing. I'm afraid most British people can't cook and that's why they think it's a big deal to prep some veg and get all stressed and take hours.

True. But it depends what you're making. I do a v simple dinner and yes it's quick. Equally my friend makes home made pies, pigs in blankets, home made desserts etc.. quite simply oven isn't big enough to do it all Xmas day.

However its good but entirely optional. Guests would still enjoy Xmas if the dessert came from m&s.

RedToothBrush · 25/12/2023 08:38

madeinmanc · 25/12/2023 05:05

I love the implication that's being made that I somehow eat ready meals. Like, no. I cook from scratch every day and I'm an excellent cook. I just don't take hours to prep some veg and make stuffing. I'm afraid most British people can't cook and that's why they think it's a big deal to prep some veg and get all stressed and take hours.

This.

Plus knowing your limits with your lifestyle and other pressures is essential.

Your three course gourmet meal when you have lots going on and small kids is frankly stupid.

If you are fighting about it the day before you have planned too much and are being stupid.

PaminaMozart · 25/12/2023 08:54

DeeLusional · 24/12/2023 23:35

Gosh you're pretentious! Merry Christmas anyway.

It would be kind of helpful if you actually stated who/what you are referring to...

PaminaMozart · 25/12/2023 09:02

Tiedtoatwat · 25/12/2023 00:14

Well, there's 5 of us too, and I like to make Christmas Day as easy as possible.

I do sausagemeat stuffing - everyone's favourite part of the meal! - and I like the breadcrumbs thick so I do them by hand. 3 sliced plain loaves - and I did the bread weeks back and it's been in the freezer. We also like the onions chopped very fine, and 2 onions took me over an hour (I need a device of some kind!!) DC1 put it together with the sausagemeat and stuck it in the oven.

I then peeled and chopped 3 bags of carrots, 3 backs of parsnips, 5kg of potatoes, and prepped a bag of brussels sprouts and boiled the ham. Put butter and streaky bacon on the turkey and stuck it in a Roastabag ready for the oven. Took the stuffing out and cut off the burned bit before sticking it back in.

In between times, I cooked another dinner for a family member staying overnight.

Cleaning in between times and loading/unloading the dishwasher took hours. BUT everything is ready to go tomorrow, which was kinda the aim.

I'm also annoyed but I copped for most of it too. H took out the recycling, emptied the bin, and unloaded the dishwasher once, before getting pissed and fucking off to bed. The DCs have made themselves pretty scarce too.... so I get it @Dallidalli!! It's so frustrating!!

But.... the fuckers will have to cook it all tomorrow. I've more than done my share. All the planning, ordering, shopping, presents, cards, wrapping... and then they wonder why I no longer look forward to Christmas!!!

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and then they wonder why I no longer look forward to Christmas!!!

What you are doing is insane! Why just why...

If sausagemeat stuffing is everyone's favourite part of the meal, why not just serve fancy sausages and maybe a turkey crown? Why so many different vegetables?

When did Christmas stop being family time... I couldn't be bothered with all this anxiety and stress.

Strugglingtodomybest · 25/12/2023 09:15

Littlemissweepy · 24/12/2023 22:40

You do you. Let others do what they want. No need to judge others so much. It is not that hard, really.

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Have you quoted the wrong person? Where's the judgement?

Strugglingtodomybest · 25/12/2023 09:20

Just read your update OP and I'm glad you've had a chat and are feeling better 💐

madeinmanc · 25/12/2023 09:39

Sorry for the tone of my last post, everyone! I was feeling super tetchy and on a short fuse due to being woken up at 4:30 am! Much like the OP, really 🤣

Lovely to see your update, @Dallidalli, have a lovely Christmas 😍

Original poster

Dallidalli · 25/12/2023 14:28

Merry Christmas everyone! I'm amazed by how divided people are on the topic of preparing for Christmas the day before! It's petty much 50/50.
Definitely will choose my battles next year. The meal was well received and yes prepping on the day also got us fed.

But I've spent the majority of the day in the kitchen and I totally agree with folk saying prepping a day ahead will give you more time to enjoy Christmas morning. It was still nice tho.

Hope all your dishes are turning out nicely 😊

OP posts:

Tiedtoatwat · 25/12/2023 15:18

Nomagicflute · 25/12/2023 07:43

Then do less next year and see what happens. If they complain you can say I didn't realise you appreciated those things, want to help next year.

Though it does suck women always get stuck with gift buying and cards. I stopped helping with my OH side of the family. Why did I feel responsible if his mums gift wasn't on time or he was stressed? And by not doing it and me saying im not involved, he just did it instead.

Show quote history

I did do that the last couple of years and DC1 has martyred themselves since saying they do it all!!! Can't win. Have little to do with DH's very small family so it's down to him what he does.

Tiedtoatwat · 25/12/2023 15:22

PaminaMozart · 25/12/2023 09:02

and then they wonder why I no longer look forward to Christmas!!!

What you are doing is insane! Why just why...

If sausagemeat stuffing is everyone's favourite part of the meal, why not just serve fancy sausages and maybe a turkey crown? Why so many different vegetables?

When did Christmas stop being family time... I couldn't be bothered with all this anxiety and stress.

Show quote history

I thought that was pretty standard, tbh... I have a turkey butterfly, so don't need a turkey crown, and as the sausagemeat stuffing is everyone's favourite part of the meal, why wouldn't I do it? I don't think 3 veg is excessive either?

Anyway I've delegated the rest of the day, and am sipping on a nice festive Baileys.

Merry Christmas!

Nomagicflute · 25/12/2023 17:47

Tiedtoatwat · 25/12/2023 15:18

I did do that the last couple of years and DC1 has martyred themselves since saying they do it all!!! Can't win. Have little to do with DH's very small family so it's down to him what he does.

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Oh no some people have no sense of how much their partners, usually the mums do. It's frustrating! At least you tried.

moonshinepoursthroughmywindow · 25/12/2023 17:53

Mine didn't either - but I didn't ask him to. I'm a better cook than him and I know where everything is. When he gets involved it probably takes longer. He does lots of other useful things around the house, cooking just happens to be my speciality.

Littlemissweepy · 25/12/2023 21:17

Strugglingtodomybest · 25/12/2023 09:15

Have you quoted the wrong person? Where's the judgement?

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No. Quoted the exact person I intended. Just because you don’t want to make the time or find it stressful to do those things (I envy that you must have a really nice life if wrapping sausages in bacon is your source of stress) and prefer ultra processed shop bought on Xmas day… don’t judge others who chose to spend their time doing it differently, and make out they have some sort of misplaced sense of priorities. Merry Christmas.

Iwasafool · 25/12/2023 21:56

FriedasCarLoad · 24/12/2023 23:49

Isn't it quite common to have at the very least three courses?

And common to have more exciting sides than just plain roasted vegetables? And to have the sauces and any Yorkshire puddings all made from scratch?

And surely lots of people would rather spend as much of Christmas morning as possible relaxing?

I get that plenty of people might be happy with two courses of basically ready-meals, which is fine. But why do so many of them on this thread seem baffled that anyone might like to step it up a bit for a special occasion?!

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Has anyone said they have ready meals? Just because some of us don't see making Yorkshire puddings and sauces from scratch as a massive deal it doesn't mean we don't do it.

Iwasafool · 25/12/2023 21:58

Littlemissweepy · 25/12/2023 21:17

No. Quoted the exact person I intended. Just because you don’t want to make the time or find it stressful to do those things (I envy that you must have a really nice life if wrapping sausages in bacon is your source of stress) and prefer ultra processed shop bought on Xmas day… don’t judge others who chose to spend their time doing it differently, and make out they have some sort of misplaced sense of priorities. Merry Christmas.

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Are home made pigs in blankets really any different to shop bought ones? I mean do you slaughter the pig? Cure the bacon? Make your own sausages? Probably not so the sausages and bacon you use are just the same as the made up ones.

Valid8me · 25/12/2023 22:53

Littlemissweepy · 25/12/2023 21:17

No. Quoted the exact person I intended. Just because you don’t want to make the time or find it stressful to do those things (I envy that you must have a really nice life if wrapping sausages in bacon is your source of stress) and prefer ultra processed shop bought on Xmas day… don’t judge others who chose to spend their time doing it differently, and make out they have some sort of misplaced sense of priorities. Merry Christmas.

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Wrapping sausages in bacon is not my source of stress, there are far more stressful things in my life thanks.

How is a shop bought pig in blanket (or stuffing/cranberry sauce etc) any more ultra processed than a shop bought one? Aren't they both just sausage and bacon? You don't know what shops I buy those things from either - they don't have to be ultra-processed.

If someone wants to make such things from scratch and enjoys it then that's fine, they can crack on with it. Me, I haven't got the time so will continue to buy them.

Crikeyalmighty · 25/12/2023 23:22

@bellac11 I couldn't agree more - and actually the worst Xmas dinner I ever had was from someone who took pride in doing everything from scratch ! Peeling potatoes? Blimey, M&S goose fat ones are lovely - I couldn't be arsed.

My beef and coconut curry with coconut rice I made last night took more effort. The gluten free Xmas pudding was as nice as any homemade ones I've had.

bellac11 · 25/12/2023 23:32

Well, today didnt quite pan out as planned.

I forgot that I dont like goose fat basted potatoes and that in fact this is what I bought. So yesterday we had the first pack of those and I realised I bought the wrong ones

So today - wait for it - I HAD TO MAKE MY OWN POTATOES.

The horror of it.

Obviously they were fantastic and far superior but not quite what I wanted to do.

Beef dripping ones next year, must remember.

HolyZarquonsSingingSeals · 26/12/2023 00:21

Tiedtoatwat · 25/12/2023 00:14

Well, there's 5 of us too, and I like to make Christmas Day as easy as possible.

I do sausagemeat stuffing - everyone's favourite part of the meal! - and I like the breadcrumbs thick so I do them by hand. 3 sliced plain loaves - and I did the bread weeks back and it's been in the freezer. We also like the onions chopped very fine, and 2 onions took me over an hour (I need a device of some kind!!) DC1 put it together with the sausagemeat and stuck it in the oven.

I then peeled and chopped 3 bags of carrots, 3 backs of parsnips, 5kg of potatoes, and prepped a bag of brussels sprouts and boiled the ham. Put butter and streaky bacon on the turkey and stuck it in a Roastabag ready for the oven. Took the stuffing out and cut off the burned bit before sticking it back in.

In between times, I cooked another dinner for a family member staying overnight.

Cleaning in between times and loading/unloading the dishwasher took hours. BUT everything is ready to go tomorrow, which was kinda the aim.

I'm also annoyed but I copped for most of it too. H took out the recycling, emptied the bin, and unloaded the dishwasher once, before getting pissed and fucking off to bed. The DCs have made themselves pretty scarce too.... so I get it @Dallidalli!! It's so frustrating!!

But.... the fuckers will have to cook it all tomorrow. I've more than done my share. All the planning, ordering, shopping, presents, cards, wrapping... and then they wonder why I no longer look forward to Christmas!!!

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An hour chopping onions! 😱

Iwasafool · 26/12/2023 09:33

Tiedtoatwat · 25/12/2023 00:14

Well, there's 5 of us too, and I like to make Christmas Day as easy as possible.

I do sausagemeat stuffing - everyone's favourite part of the meal! - and I like the breadcrumbs thick so I do them by hand. 3 sliced plain loaves - and I did the bread weeks back and it's been in the freezer. We also like the onions chopped very fine, and 2 onions took me over an hour (I need a device of some kind!!) DC1 put it together with the sausagemeat and stuck it in the oven.

I then peeled and chopped 3 bags of carrots, 3 backs of parsnips, 5kg of potatoes, and prepped a bag of brussels sprouts and boiled the ham. Put butter and streaky bacon on the turkey and stuck it in a Roastabag ready for the oven. Took the stuffing out and cut off the burned bit before sticking it back in.

In between times, I cooked another dinner for a family member staying overnight.

Cleaning in between times and loading/unloading the dishwasher took hours. BUT everything is ready to go tomorrow, which was kinda the aim.

I'm also annoyed but I copped for most of it too. H took out the recycling, emptied the bin, and unloaded the dishwasher once, before getting pissed and fucking off to bed. The DCs have made themselves pretty scarce too.... so I get it @Dallidalli!! It's so frustrating!!

But.... the fuckers will have to cook it all tomorrow. I've more than done my share. All the planning, ordering, shopping, presents, cards, wrapping... and then they wonder why I no longer look forward to Christmas!!!

Edited

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Five of you and you need 3 loaves to make the stuffing? Really? An hour to chop 2 onions - how big are the onions.

It sounds a bit joyless, mine didn't have finely chopped onions but no one called them fuckers and we all look forward to Christmas.