DH has not done any food prep for Christmas today

[Dallidalli]

Just came home from work, walking all day through the gale winds. DH all day home with DC. Initially I was delighted as he tidied up and cleaned the bath room. I looked into the fridge and fuck all prep for dinner tomorrow was done.
Yesterday we discussed that I'll go and get last minute bits and bobs from the shops and he stays home with DC and starts Christmas prep. He did volunteer to do the bathroom but really it was his fucking turn.
I've not slept as DC is sleeping in our bed and has been twitching all night so my nerves are blank I know that and frankly I do think I'm slightly unreasonable and unfair but why the hell is it so difficult to go clean a bath AND get food prepped?? DC is toddler age so I get it's challenging. I'm just pissed off
I snapped at him yesterday too while wrapping presents. I asked him whats his plan for tomorrow (today) and he jokingly said "survive" and I blew the lid and told him I don't find it funny anymore (he says that joke a lot) and should start acting like an adult and that he did not contribute a thing to decorating, planning, gift organising....but most of his lazy attitude is making my anxiety worse as I can't trust he goes and just does the things that need done without me spelling it out for him.
I'm pissed off because all communication has broken down towards Christmas and I shout and he shuts down and that makes me even more angry because I find that cowardly behaviour.

Yes I am overtired, stressed, angry, overwhelmed, overstimulated and sad.

I just don't trust he got my back at all and he might also be struggling. Honestly I just want to cancel all plans for tomorrow with his family as it seems I'm the only actually giving a shit.

Sorry for rant.

Sorry you are struggling OP. Go say sorry to your DH and have a cuddle. If it helps then do a little prep together before bed. In the future buy predone stuff from M&S or Cook - honestly it saves stress and bother. I buy premade cauli cheese, red cabbage, yorkshire puddings, gravy. It's just a meal and still tastes good without all the hassle.

I don't think he's being lazy. You sound snappy but it's understandable if you're working and sleep deprived. It's not like he did nothing all day. Christmas dinner really doesn't need prepping!

I do

Well Quality Street count as salad doesnt it?

If this is what it’s like then I think you need to scale back your expectations and plans.
He definitely needs to step up - but you can’t make him - so rather than getting upset just scale back.
Have a ready meal.
Dont invite anyone over or host his family.
Sort your kids present.
anything else is extra right?! If you don’t have the capacity for it - don’t do it.

I sometimes find a really good cry followed by a good night's sleep solves a lot of my stresses.

Have a good night's sleep OP and you'll feel better in the morning :) go easy on yourself, you're only human

You are being ridiculous. You don't need to do prep today.

😂

Nothing needs prepping a day in advance, have a glass of wine and a cuddle. It will all work out fine,

@Summonedbybees

what? Why?

He doesnt need to step up as that implies hes not doing anything. He hasnt done anything wrong. OP just needs to calm down and she probably will once she has had some sleep and relaxed.

What’s with all those acting all incredulous that people do some food prep on Christmas Eve!? I have done some prep - I am only cooking for 6 - made stuffing, made the starters so they can just go in the oven half an hour before we all sit down. Peeled and cut potatoes and carrots and left them in water in the fridge. Made cranberry sauce and cranberry syrup for gin cocktails. Made custard. Took me a couple of hours, those 2 hours I would rather not spend in the kitchen tomorrow as then I’d rather be hanging out with my kids.

@NameChange1412 sorry about your dad, but why be a dick to OP when it's clear she is struggling with more than just Christmas dinner? She sounds overwrought.

I snapped at him yesterday too while wrapping presents. I asked him whats his plan for tomorrow (today) and he jokingly said "survive"

would piss me off too I can't stand men who make this big a deal of looking after their own child for a day.

Just don't cook, leave it to him. It's his family anyways.

Yeah ok - why is she having all the sleepless nights? (My hubby would have taken LO so I could sleep/nap).
Why has she had to plan/shop/organise gifts etc and worried that he’s so laidback that stuff isn’t going to get done.
So he either needs to take over some of her mental load or more likely she needs to not try and do so much. The latter will be quicker.

Nothing to do with me though- I have a fully functioning adult as a husband so we’re grand.

Give him a hug. Tell him you love him and when you get rid of the relatives tomorrow lock the door and make it just the 3 of you. Claim a stomach bug if you have to .

Ah you sound very stressed. Understandable if you're working right up and sleep deprived. He didn't do nothing all day, you need to cut him some slack. The prep can be done in the morning. Chill with a glass of wine, tackle it tomorrow.

Ah, don't beat yourself up, you're tired and stressed. Give your DH a hug and apologise. Put tonight behind you and have a good time tomorrow. Happy Christmas 🎄

It's his mum and his sister. So it's up to him really. I'd say prep is good but optional.

If anyone complains at you say politely I was at work, DH was busy looking after DC.

Today DH did no 'prep' neither did I. I'm happy he took DC out for a bit and we wrapped presents.

I think you're not ok, you sound exhausted and/or a perfectionist.

I can see why he said 'surviving' on Xmas day. As either your expectations are widely mismatched or he's trying to just keep it calm.

Op you are stressed I hate fussy heaters but if your catering for them then it needs to be as for preparing veg and potatoes the day before yes I used to do that as I was cooking for my 7 children myself and husband so I could enjoy Christmas morning with my family opening presents I still prep now enough though it's on my 2 youngest myself and husband at home please don't stress let your hubby crack on tomorrow while you chill

Zero prep here. Husband will do all of the cooking in our house tomorrow whilst I play with our 3 yo 😀

I gave birth on Christmas Eve, 27yrs ago but still, so I’ve never prepped anything for Christmas dinner because I’ve always been too busy celebrating DS2’s birthday. It’s just a roast with a few extra bits. That’s all. Don’t panic. It will all be fine. And if it’s not, who cares? The sky won’t fall in.

Your MIL is grown woman, if she doesn’t get her lunch at 12pm then hard lines, she shall have to get over herself. You sound stressed and tired, which has blown everything out of all proportion. Have a glass of wine, a good nights sleep and start again tomorrow.

Lazy, idle men eventually wear you down until there is nothing left of you. I won't waste my life on them.

I have never done food prep the day before and we’ve been hosting for many families every Christmas for 15 years. It’s not the end of the world and it’s supposed to be a great time of the year, not a time when you clean like a maniac and get shouted at. Take a step back and remember that it’s supposed to be an amazing holiday.

I would not be able to prep while looking after the toddler, all ours was done after bed time. It sounds like he made progress today, deep breath and let it go x

Good job OP doesn’t have one of those then.