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Original poster

To be fuming with my DP - yep another Christmas one 😩

111 replies

bagpuss90 · 24/12/2023 20:25

DP was meant to spend Christmas Day with me and my family and I’m going his for Boxing Day with his lot - mainly friends .He’s a very untidy person ( or plain bloody lazy ) and has been going on for weeks that he has to tidy up before Christmas. I’ve offered to help him. He’s just rung me to say he has to stay at home tomorrow to sort his place out and won’t be coming to mine .He’s had 365 days to do it ! Still expects /wants me to go to his Boxing Day . My family will have bought him gifts . I could do tit for tat and not do Boxing Day . But that seems petty and I’d genuinely like to see his friends. He gets on with my family - so I don’t think it’s an excuse . He’s just failed to get his arse in gear .

OP posts:
morethanspice · 24/12/2023 20:26

I wouldn’t go to his
Absolute bad behaviour

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 24/12/2023 20:27

I might add im also hurt and disappointed

OP posts:
FiddleLeaf · 24/12/2023 20:27

How old is he?

ManateeFair · 24/12/2023 20:27

I wouldn’t go to his family on Boxing Day either. He’s really let you down.

LydiaRebecca14 · 24/12/2023 20:28

He sounds like a man child. I've learnt over the years that a lot of men are shit with time management. Typical bloke.

I'd be very annoyed. But..... try and explain to him how it's made u feel. Say if you spend Xmas day with me, I'll come and help you another day do your place. Men get over whelemed with cleaning lol

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 24/12/2023 20:28

FiddleLeaf
old enough to know better … He’s 58

OP posts:
YourNameGoesHere · 24/12/2023 20:29

Why would you want to go to his on boxing day...he's literally showing you that you're not important to him, if someone shows you that why would you not listen?

grumpycow1 · 24/12/2023 20:30

I’d be done. He’s showing you a real lack of respect.

Myusernamehistoryislong · 24/12/2023 20:30

Don't go to his. Show him you have respect for yourself and won't be walked over. If you accept this, it will never change, you'll end up miserable with a useless bastard and back here complaining in 5 years that he doesn't help with the kids.

Ktime · 24/12/2023 20:30

YANBU. What are his plans for Boxing Day? If he hosting?

I would either not go but if you do go, turn up like a guest, do not help him clean, do not help with food.

Turn up late and act like a guest!

But if there is something you’d prefer to do, then cancel on him and do that.

Has he bought presents for your family?

rochenutty · 24/12/2023 20:31

bagpuss90 · 24/12/2023 20:28

FiddleLeaf
old enough to know better … He’s 58

bloody hell
i honestly thought you’d say 22!

do either of you have children?

rochenutty · 24/12/2023 20:31

how long have you been together?

FiddleLeaf · 24/12/2023 20:31

58! Damn. This can’t be attractive.

Littlenutroast · 24/12/2023 20:32

I lol’ed at 58!

Myusernamehistoryislong · 24/12/2023 20:32

rochenutty · 24/12/2023 20:31

bloody hell
i honestly thought you’d say 22!

do either of you have children?

Show quote history

So did I! Hence the kids comment

Silverbirchtwo · 24/12/2023 20:32

What's his place being in a mess to do with not going to yours? That is totally separate and entirely his problem. If he can't come to yours because his is a mess, you can't go to his because you will be tidying up yours after your event. If tidy is so important to him suddenly it's also important to you.

Topseyt123 · 24/12/2023 20:32

What a twat. I would be annoyed too. I highly doubt that I would be going to his family on Boxing Day after this.

Stay with your own family and tell him why.

Luxell934 · 24/12/2023 20:32

So he’s planning to spend all of Christmas Day cleaning?….yeah right. Probably has had a better offer. I wouldn’t go to his Boxing Day, spend it with your family.

rochenutty · 24/12/2023 20:32

he’s put you in the humiliating position of having to explain why he’s absent

MinervatheGreat · 24/12/2023 20:33

Another pathetic individual!
What is it with men like him?
Id be hurt and incandescent!

As above, go to his as a guest, don’t get involved with prep or clearing up.

After that, think very carefully about a future with him.

ProfessorInkling · 24/12/2023 20:35

I'm not really one for ultimatums but this seems like an appropriate time - he either makes time for you tomorrow as well as tidying up, or he can fuck off. What a lazy arse.

AnneLovesGilbert · 24/12/2023 20:36

I mean, it sounds like such an awful excuse he’s probably lying. Stay at your family’s for Boxing Day and dump him. He sounds pathetic.

LittleGreenDragons · 24/12/2023 20:38

Luxell934 · 24/12/2023 20:32

So he’s planning to spend all of Christmas Day cleaning?….yeah right. Probably has had a better offer. I wouldn’t go to his Boxing Day, spend it with your family.

^ This. You are being played OP. Nobody cancels good food and presents to clean. Nobody, not even Mrs Hinch and she actually likes^ cleaning.

I would cancel him permanently, he doesn't seem to care about you at all.

rochenutty · 24/12/2023 20:38

you have started multiple threads about this guy pissing you, or disappointing you or hurting you. Over and over again.

I think it’s time to draw a line through this

Nicole1111 · 24/12/2023 20:39

Don't give him any of your time over the Christmas period. If he can’t prioritise you on one day of the year then you’re best off investing your time and energy elsewhere.