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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fuming with my DP - yep another Christmas one 😩

111 replies

bagpuss90 · 24/12/2023 20:25

DP was meant to spend Christmas Day with me and my family and I’m going his for Boxing Day with his lot - mainly friends .He’s a very untidy person ( or plain bloody lazy ) and has been going on for weeks that he has to tidy up before Christmas. I’ve offered to help him. He’s just rung me to say he has to stay at home tomorrow to sort his place out and won’t be coming to mine .He’s had 365 days to do it ! Still expects /wants me to go to his Boxing Day . My family will have bought him gifts . I could do tit for tat and not do Boxing Day . But that seems petty and I’d genuinely like to see his friends. He gets on with my family - so I don’t think it’s an excuse . He’s just failed to get his arse in gear .

OP posts:

brainworms · 24/12/2023 23:48

bagpuss90 · 24/12/2023 20:27

I might add im also hurt and disappointed

You've every right to be. What a wanker. Stay at home on boxing day and relax.

Downunderduchess · 25/12/2023 00:59

I hope many of the women posting on this and other posts use this time to assess/realise how little their feelings matter to their husbands/boyfriends/partners. Some of the posts I’ve been reading are really quite eye opening. The lack of respect and consideration shows you just where you come in their priorities. Perhaps the new year will bring better circumstances for you.

cheeseandbranston · 25/12/2023 07:02

I feel for you. I honestly couldn't go out with someone who did this kind of thing. It's not nasty, but messy and disorganised to this degree would really put me off a man.
I'm sorry this happened.
My friend's husband has adhd so kind of thing happens to her a lot. But I also think having these traits has made him used to being the guy who is always late and letting people down, and he's got comfortable with that and thinks he's allowed to be the guy who doesn't think about how his behaviour impacts others.

These things are harder for some people than others, but they CAN be managed.

VioletPickles · 25/12/2023 07:18

How bad is his house? That alone would be me right off .

Janieforever · 25/12/2023 07:20

bagpuss90 · 24/12/2023 22:38

He has now said he will work through half the night to sort his place out and will come to mine tomorrow after all . I refuse to help him - I know he will have procrastinated for bloody weeks over this . If he kept on top of it in the first place - well none of this would have happened

You think he was trying to manipulate you into coming and doing it for him?

misslooloo · 25/12/2023 08:29

Does he have ADHD?

Mellowautumnmists · 25/12/2023 08:31

VioletPickles · 25/12/2023 07:18

How bad is his house? That alone would be me right off .

This. Is the house really that bad? Is it dirty or "just" cluttered?

Westfacing · 25/12/2023 08:37

He's just a lazy arse - probably hasn't bothered to get any pressies or even clean clothes to wear.

Namechange4234 · 25/12/2023 08:54

bagpuss90 · 24/12/2023 20:49

He’s a twat with shocking time management skills - not nasty

Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks so little of you?

LittleMissSunshiner · 25/12/2023 20:18

How did your day go OP?

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 28/12/2023 22:52

@bagpuss90 Did he get his arse in gear?

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