To refuse to go in extra on boxing day because they kept my bonus?

[Housekeeperbatcocoa]

I'm not sure where to start with this one, sorry!

I work as a private housekeeper on a large farm/estate. The lady who owns the house is and always has been difficult and demanding, as is the rest of the family. She's been in and out of hospital this year with various injuries and I've been working my backside off to help - even going in on an evening to close the house up for her because she couldn't walk and none of her family would help her!

She's back in hospital atm and her daughters have also been putting on me in various ways - shopping runs for them, constant texts about stuff and just basically treating me like a skivvy from the Downton Abby days!

I accidentally saw a message saying she'd planned to give me £30 bonus for Christmas. When I left yesterday the oldest daughter gave me a card which I assumed had my bonus. Said thank you, came home. Just got around to opening it and the envelope had clearly been opened and there's no money in it.

That's fine - people can change their minds and if they have it is what it is. Though part of me can't help but think the oldest daughter has taken the money from the card 🙁 can't prove it, obviously, but that's what my gut says 😕

But they've just messaged me to say I need to go in on boxing day to "sort the dogs out". She wants me to go for 7am because no one else will be there.

I haven't answered yet but I feel like telling them to get stuffed and just not going back.

I've got a new job lined up for Feb and while it would be tight, I could manage without this one for the month!

I’d reply “You mean I’m ruining YOUR Christmas, you don’t seem to be aware that it’s MY Christmas too.” And no way would I return to work for people with that attitude if I could help it.

"You have known since November that I wouldn't be available on 26th. Whoever decided not to make alternative arrangements is the person who ruined your Christmas"

"Well you're trying to ruin my Christmss so we're even, bitch"

They have zero self-awareness do they?!

You totally should, finished with Ho Ho mutha fucka 👀😂

Do it, do it, do it @Housekeeperbatcocoa!

She text back this morning and told me I was ruining Christmas.

Oh that old chestnut roasting on an open fire

Don't let them guilt you re the dogs . It will be a shame if they wee the carpet , dogs don't like to be dirty . But they can sort it themselves .

Who is taking over from you when you leave? Is there any way of leaving them a reference mentioning what a total bitch your employer is? Maybe something hidden in a place the employee would find but the employer won't? (Or even two or three - I mean if the employer finds one, honestly written, it might be a wake up call. But I am hoping the employee might leave that much earlier, or at least not be so exploited because they've been warned).

I was thinking something like

Welcome to your new job! I hope you enjoy it, but must warn you that your new employer will exploit you in any way they can. Examples from my employment include [insert stories here]. For my final Christmas I received no bonus (this may have been because I chose to go to a vital medical appointment instead of doing unpaid overtime) and was accused of 'ruining Christmas' because I would not cancel my own Boxing Day plans at one day's notice to work an extra shift and look after her dogs. DON'T let her exploit you like this!

Phew! That has helped work off some of the anger I feel for you!!!!!

That would make me incandescent... I wouldn't have walked before that - just said "no" and gone back when I was next due, but would do now. I'd be inclined to shame her as widely as possible in the local area, and with any agencies that she might use to get a replacement.

Also, I agree £30 seems a bit stingy given your role, but someone posters' Christmas generosity seems crazily extreme! £50 to the postman and £100 to the binmen?!? 😮. If everyone gave their postman a £50 Christmas bonus, given they do 1,000 or so houses, they get more than their annual salary!

They really sound abit dim, as if they don’t understand that you’re an employee who’s entitled to annual leave. When you’re on leave, you’re not available to do anything for them, end of.

Have you given your notice yet, OP? I’d be inclined to give the minimum so they can’t ask you to “train” your replacement.

Tell them to stuff their job where they stuffed their turkey! Take January off & start your new job in Feb. These people sound VILE!

fire off a text ruining new year

Quality!

😂😂😂

However, I think maintaining radio silence until OP starts her next job is the best way to go.

They won't see it coming . . .

If you financially can manage I'd give notice and leave now. I bet any of the supermarkets have a temporary job that can slightly help till new job starts. Good luck in your new job. What horrible people they are

You haven't and won't see the message, OK?
If the phone rings, don't answer.
When you go back to work, and anything is said, just say you didn't see the message.
Act nice as pie for your reference, and good luck with your new job.

I gave my once a month cleaner a 40 quid voucher - she'd appreciate it and imv deserves it

Yes, leave now and do agency work until February. Have you been paid for your additional hours? They sound truly dreadful but I guess you don't get rich by paying decent wages.

I thought £30 seemed really stingy.

Someone gave their cleaner £200. I don't think I spent as much as that on each of my (teen) kids this year (and I didn't think I was that mean, they got a lot of presents)

Well it's probably different income levels and perceptions of money. The bin men round here would probably be pleased with a fiver. 😁

I think if you have a large estate and can afford to employ a housekeeper, £30 is pretty insulting as a bonus.

Even in Downton Abbey they give the staff boxing day off.

If your new job is lined up for February I'd quiet quit til then.

Are you enjoying a relaxed non-working Boxing Day, OP? are you going to "ruin" their New Year as well as Christmas? presume they haven't got you on a contract so you wouldn't suffer any problems from breaking it?

Like the rest of us, don't know how you've lasted for so long with these Dickensian types.

She rang me at 9:30 and asked why I hadn't been in to see to the dogs. I was out with my own dog and kids and my dear friend. Told her that as per my previous multiple messages I was not available to which she got extremely nasty.

Lost it a bit at that point and told her to stop being an entitled bitch and that she would have to clean up after her own new year's party because I quit immediately.

Still feel a bit shell-shocked and shaky but also a massive amount of relief that I won't have to deal with them and their entitled idiocy any more!

Wow

If you can manage til Feb I would quit!

Well done OP!!!

👏👏👏👏