To refuse to go in extra on boxing day because they kept my bonus?

[Housekeeperbatcocoa]

I'm not sure where to start with this one, sorry!

I work as a private housekeeper on a large farm/estate. The lady who owns the house is and always has been difficult and demanding, as is the rest of the family. She's been in and out of hospital this year with various injuries and I've been working my backside off to help - even going in on an evening to close the house up for her because she couldn't walk and none of her family would help her!

She's back in hospital atm and her daughters have also been putting on me in various ways - shopping runs for them, constant texts about stuff and just basically treating me like a skivvy from the Downton Abby days!

I accidentally saw a message saying she'd planned to give me £30 bonus for Christmas. When I left yesterday the oldest daughter gave me a card which I assumed had my bonus. Said thank you, came home. Just got around to opening it and the envelope had clearly been opened and there's no money in it.

That's fine - people can change their minds and if they have it is what it is. Though part of me can't help but think the oldest daughter has taken the money from the card 🙁 can't prove it, obviously, but that's what my gut says 😕

But they've just messaged me to say I need to go in on boxing day to "sort the dogs out". She wants me to go for 7am because no one else will be there.

I haven't answered yet but I feel like telling them to get stuffed and just not going back.

I've got a new job lined up for Feb and while it would be tight, I could manage without this one for the month!

Is this the same employer who previously accused you of stealing?

Don't go in on Boxing Day, or ever again.

I'd be telling them to pound sand.

a £30 bonus working for a private family / estate is well well well below what you should be getting. Thats crazy.

I would though keep it on nice terms but just say you can't make it that early on boxing day as you have plans

You want a good reference so keeping the peace is a good thing.

In a normal year, minimum tip for household staff is a week's wages and a small gift (e.g. a box of really nice chocolate).

In a year where someone goes above and beyond, I would tip a fortnight's wages.

£30 is a joke. Someone stealing £30 is worse. You owe them nothing.

(Fwiw, you wouldn't owe them a visit on Boxing Day in any case. If anything, it goes against the original idea of the day, which was to give the staff a holiday. And even if it weren't, you don't owe your employers favors, whether or not they're shitty.)

I give my twice a week dog Walker 3x that amount.
They are demanding tightwads, don't go in and if you can manage it, leave now!

Some people don't want staff, they want serfs.

I wouldn't be doing it.

£30 is outrageous enough that I’d quit just because of that. The fact they then took it back and expect you to go in at 7am on Boxing Day is a joke.

Tell them to shove the job up their arses and have January off

I would rip the lid off the can of worms, personally. 'Sorry, it would be difficult for me to come in on boxing day anyway, but I am really disappointed not to have received a bonus this year, so am unwilling to go any extra miles since you clearly don't feel you have to'. Let them find out what oldest daughter is like!

I would say 'No' if you definately don't want to work that day or 'I can do that extra work on that bank holiday for £200' if you don't mind working and want a bit of extra money (but get it paid before you go).

You can easily decline. I don't understand why you would have done all the other unsociable work for them if you didn't want to though? Maybe they thought you didn't mind?

I gave my cleaner £200.

I can't add more than others have already said.

It's an abysmal amount. That their then rescinded. You're already booked off boxing day. I'd reply "sorry, I'm not back until the 27th. Enjoy the festivities!"

If you're anywhere in Cumbria - I'm disabled and can offer £30 per hour!

My friend occasionally does housekeeping assistant work. The hours are long and erratic and the work is hard and the clients are not always the nicest but her bonuses are in the hundreds !
There is a shortage of good reliable staff so she always feels ultimately she is in charge.
Unless you need a reference i would go now and enjoy Christmas.

Arrange these 2 words in an oft used phrase or saying

Off Fuck

They are taking the piss treating you as skivvy

Tell them they are your dogs you see to them

What’s with people saying “sorry” in these messages? Fuck that.

Whether you hand your notice in on the spot I’d eventually reply something along the lines of: “I am not available on Boxing Day.” End of.

£30 “bonus” is insulting in itself but some grasping bastard then even taking that away from you is even more galling.

Just send a reply saying you are not available at this short notice - you have other commitments.

A £30 bonus is an insultingly derisory amount

God I wish I was, but I'm rather more further north unfortunately!

Are you getting paid for all of this extra work? As long as they are paying you, then so be it. But if they are expecting you to do all of this for free, then a $30 bonus is piddly and the daughter keeping it was even worse.

If you don't go on Boxing day, will her children allow the dogs to go hungry or would it just mean they have to get up off their youknowwhats and go feed the dogs themselves? They can help their family member for free, even if it's inconvenient. Everyone else should get paid.

Because to put it bluntly I'm a people pleaser who should know better!

(I didn't use to be this wet, then had a really bad year where everything went wrong and it just flattened me! Working on getting back to how I was before!)

Actually ignore my post referring to giving notice...as I expect you have already done so if leaving soon.

Don’t do Boxing Day and if you have a new job lined up don’t go back and enjoy the time off!

My elderly aunt works for a woman who has a similar sized estate etc. She’s treated like one of the family and rewarded likewise. They wouldn’t dare expect her to come in at short notice, if they did she’d be richly rewarded.

Don’t go in and hand your notice effective today’s date.

If it's financially feasible, don't go back at all AND send a text explaining why, including the lack of bonus.
They don't deserve your consideration.

What a horrible family.

Your next job can only be better.

I think I would say no to Boxing Day and do the bare minimum in January, unless you really need a good reference?
v glad you’re getting out - they should awful