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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH bought me same Christmas gift 3 years in a row

120 replies

Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 22:22

For the last 3 years DH has gone out last minute Christmas shopping and bought me photo frames. The first year this was lovely as they had family photos in. Last year not only had he panic bought them but he bought 4 as he couldn't decide which one was nicest. This year I've just discovered a shopping bag with photo frames wrapped up in (no photos even in them)....... Would I be unreasonable to say "are these meant to be for your mum? They can't be for me because you bought me 4 last year and 3 the year before that"

I should add, I expected this to happen so I told him I'd buy something I wanted this year which Ive done. So god knows why he went out panic shopping.

OP posts:
Littlenutroast · 23/12/2023 22:25

Yes I think you should say that. Has he got no imagination at all?!

TheTecknician · 23/12/2023 22:27

You could try having a conversation with him so you actually know what each other would like. I agree that there is a lack of imagination and originality but nobody is a mind reader either.

mottytotty · 23/12/2023 22:27

I hope you’ve bought him similarly thoughtless gifts.

Original poster
Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 22:30

No @Littlenutroast i don't think he does. Or he can't be arsed. Or a combination of both.
I did have a conversation with him @TheTecknician . I suspect he wasn't listening. A month ago he said he wanted to get me a new phone as he'd seen an offer on & mine is on the blink so I said yeh brilliant great idea - he said he was picking it up last week. I also bought myself some new boots & told him this weeks ago.

OP posts:
PyramidDreams · 23/12/2023 22:31

it is a gift with a job attached because he hasn't even chosen photos, printed them and put them in the frames. This is now a job for you, you to choose photos and print them and put them in the frames. It is very lazy. I would be totally honest with him about it. Even my teenage son has learned to put ideas for Christmas presents into his phone when he hears either me or Dh talk about something and then he tells the other parent.

Nasahoodie · 23/12/2023 22:32

TheTecknician · 23/12/2023 22:27

You could try having a conversation with him so you actually know what each other would like. I agree that there is a lack of imagination and originality but nobody is a mind reader either.

I'd imagine that if OP and her DH are married and living together, he's had ample opportunity to ask the OP what she would like himself. Or to observe what she likes to do/eat/wear/use.

Ignorance or having to tell him herself is not an excuse. I'm sorry that you think it is.

NoisyDachshunddd · 23/12/2023 22:32

Why oh why do women buy their own gifts?! What you need to do is just be very impassive when he gives you the shitey gift and then maybe just … don’t give him anything. He’s made zero effort. Why should you?

Original poster
Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 22:32

Well now I wish I had @mottytotty i went out of my way to get him some things I know he will like and use - his family didn't send him any presents so I felt like I wanted him to have some lovely things to open.

OP posts:
grumpycow1 · 23/12/2023 22:34

Keep them for his birthday and buy him 3 frames…

grumpycow1 · 23/12/2023 22:35

Honestly I’d rather just say to him, not to bother buying each other presents if he just can’t be arsed. Then spend the money you’d have spent on him on something lovely.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 23/12/2023 22:35

Did you OPEN the presents?

Like if they were wrapped how do you know there weren't photos?

MahShinyShoes · 23/12/2023 22:36

Is it definitely not a joke present?

He's going to pretend it's frames again then... whip out your new phone! What are you like, Chortle, chortle etc.

Iamasentientoctopus · 23/12/2023 22:36

go onto YouTube and look up ‘SNL song Christmas robe’. Maybe you can forward it to your husband to remind him of how much effort you put into Christmas compared to him!

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 23/12/2023 22:36

Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 22:32

Well now I wish I had @mottytotty i went out of my way to get him some things I know he will like and use - his family didn't send him any presents so I felt like I wanted him to have some lovely things to open.

Well, it isnt too late. Take them into him ask who they are for as they will need wrapping and delivering. And then ask about his obsession with photo frames as youve had so many off him too. And how much youre looking forward to having something different this year.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 23/12/2023 22:39

As you liked them so much the first time, he thinks he's cracked it !

Original poster
Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 22:39

@ButWhatAboutTheBees no I didn't open them but they were in a zara bag (lying on the floor - not hidden) wrapped in zara gift wrap. So one would assume he bought them and had them gift wrapped there.

OP posts:
Nasahoodie · 23/12/2023 22:40

Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 22:39

@ButWhatAboutTheBees no I didn't open them but they were in a zara bag (lying on the floor - not hidden) wrapped in zara gift wrap. So one would assume he bought them and had them gift wrapped there.

Oh god he didn't even wrap them?! FFS.

The bar really is that fucking low.

determinedtomakethiswork · 23/12/2023 22:40

I would hide them and enjoy watching him panic.

FairEnuf · 23/12/2023 22:41

We have online Giftster accounts that we get ideas for each other from. We add things throughout the year. This happened after the year I opened a petrol strimmer…. The year before I received a horse hay bar! Let’s just say I have never been gifted another power tool and only things I really need/would like for the horses since then.

Its just pure laziness buying you the same thing year after year. As a PP suggested re wrap them and gift him them for his birthday.

Original poster
Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 22:42

Ha @OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon you know what you might be on to something. We had a few years of him buying me a print/artwork every year - that was quite stressful as artwork is so personal and it was hit and miss but at least some thought went into it. That must have been early on in the relationship. Other successes - tickets to the opera, ballet, a gig.
Im going to tell him to return them and if he doesn't have the receipt I'm going to regift them to him for father's day and his birthday.

OP posts:
PandaChopChop · 23/12/2023 22:45

I got ponchos at least 3 years in a row.
We separated earlier this year and he bought me another poncho for my birthday... 🤣🥲

PandaChopChop · 23/12/2023 22:46

Should add here that I have never once worn, or expressed a desire to wear a poncho.

Original poster
Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 22:48

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 @PandaChopChop

OP posts:
Original poster
Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 22:51

I'm wondering if it's a hereditary thing. Because now I think about it, my MIL has bought me a new scarf, hat & gloves set every Christmas for the last 6 years. From the same shop. Different colours. Also not any colours I would ever wear. Last year I asked her to stop buying gifts and just buy for the kids.

OP posts:
43ontherocksporfavor · 23/12/2023 22:52

I’d whack him over the head with them so he wears them like a Pru Leith statement necklace!!! He’s a grown man fgs!