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Original poster

DH bought me same Christmas gift 3 years in a row

120 replies

Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 22:22

For the last 3 years DH has gone out last minute Christmas shopping and bought me photo frames. The first year this was lovely as they had family photos in. Last year not only had he panic bought them but he bought 4 as he couldn't decide which one was nicest. This year I've just discovered a shopping bag with photo frames wrapped up in (no photos even in them)....... Would I be unreasonable to say "are these meant to be for your mum? They can't be for me because you bought me 4 last year and 3 the year before that"

I should add, I expected this to happen so I told him I'd buy something I wanted this year which Ive done. So god knows why he went out panic shopping.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 22:53

If I let him live long enough, I may well do that @43ontherocksporfavor

OP posts:
abeautifulmess1234 · 23/12/2023 22:55

Maybe he has bought you the phone as well

43ontherocksporfavor · 23/12/2023 22:55

My DF once presented my DM with a big box on Christmas Day. As she excitedly peeled back the layers of tissue paper no doubt expecting a lovely dress or lingerie , her face fell as she actually uncovered an all in one bobble hat with scarf…..
It wasn’t even in a colour she liked . My DM was stylish. What was he thinking? I’ve never forgotten the disappointment on her face and I was only 10.

Rocknrolla21 · 23/12/2023 22:56

PyramidDreams · 23/12/2023 22:31

it is a gift with a job attached because he hasn't even chosen photos, printed them and put them in the frames. This is now a job for you, you to choose photos and print them and put them in the frames. It is very lazy. I would be totally honest with him about it. Even my teenage son has learned to put ideas for Christmas presents into his phone when he hears either me or Dh talk about something and then he tells the other parent.

This. I came across a video on TikTok a few weeks ago about this that really resonated with me. Every year for my birthday my present is oh telling me I’m allowed to book a holiday (long weekend) away. Which leads to a huge amount of hours googling and researching affordable places we can drive to, with amenities and activities that will accommodate a toddler, tween and teenager, plus oh and 2 large dogs, if the dogs can’t go I have to take them for their boosters and then find and book sitters. I then have to buy suitable clothing/equipment/pack everything/meal plan/drive us there! Next year I’m 💯 going to respond with ‘surprise me with a holiday’ 🙄
op where are the frames he’s already bought you? Can you make a few passive aggressive comments about how many you’ve already got?

christmaspawpaws · 23/12/2023 22:58

Do a list?
My dad isn't great at buying for me so I do a list with links and add size/colour
He picks from that. It's still a surprise as I don't know what I'll get

Birdbuggerup · 23/12/2023 22:58

Are you sure it isn’t a ‘safe bet’ along side other gifts you want? My DH usually gets me nice pyjamas as well as something thoughtful. He just knows I like them and I usually restrict myself to Primark whilst he goes for John Lewis or white company.

edwinbear · 23/12/2023 22:58

Honestly, this is why Christmas lists were invented. It’s so bloody simple. My entire family, including DC, my parents, DH, his parents, nieces, nephews etc we all put together a list of things we’d really like. We exchange lists at Christmas and buy things off that. The result is everyone is always incredibly happy and thankful on the day. And nobody stresses about what to buy.

thegirlwithemousyhair · 23/12/2023 23:00

determinedtomakethiswork · 23/12/2023 22:40

I would hide them and enjoy watching him panic.

😂

ChristmasMerry · 23/12/2023 23:01

Mine says he wants to get me something I like and to tell him. I keep telling him after buying presents for everyone including him and everyone else asking me what to get me, I just want one fucking surprise.

Depending in if you want him to go shopping or not tomorrow as to whether you call him out in the morning or wait until 4.01 when the shops shut. Depending on what mood you are in!

Original poster
Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 23:03

Yes @edwinbear i think that is a good idea next time - if there is a next time. I naively thought that I didn't need to write a list because we had discussed him buying the phone, and me getting the new boots well in advance. I suppose I wrongly assumed that because I know him so well and make a note throughout the year of things he mentions, ask his friends if he's mentioned anything - I don't need to ask him for a list of what he wants and am able to surprise him with gifts he likes. But clearly that is not something he is able to do for me.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 23/12/2023 23:04

PyramidDreams · 23/12/2023 22:31

it is a gift with a job attached because he hasn't even chosen photos, printed them and put them in the frames. This is now a job for you, you to choose photos and print them and put them in the frames. It is very lazy. I would be totally honest with him about it. Even my teenage son has learned to put ideas for Christmas presents into his phone when he hears either me or Dh talk about something and then he tells the other parent.

Yes, this. I'd put the frames up as they are. Let him figure it out.

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 23/12/2023 23:06

Make 2024 the year you get a new patio op.

JaniceBattersby · 23/12/2023 23:07

I would just open them then stare at him blankly and ask where your new phone is. So fucking lazy.

Original poster
Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 23:07

Yes exactly that @PyramidDreams @Rocknrolla21. I absolutely will not be printing photos out to go in them. Either they get returned or I regift them to him on his birthday without photos in.
It's not as if he's been busy either. I was away with the kids last week and he had a few days doing his hobby off work.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 23:07

Hahaha @Santaiswashinghissleigh

OP posts:
Fancycheese · 23/12/2023 23:11

TheTecknician · 23/12/2023 22:27

You could try having a conversation with him so you actually know what each other would like. I agree that there is a lack of imagination and originality but nobody is a mind reader either.

Seriously how low is the bar? You don’t need to be a bloody mind reader to put some thought into a gift for a spouse! Surely observation, listening to your significant other and giving a shit would suffice.

Original poster
Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 23:13

Yes that's how I feel @Fancycheese i don't need to ask him what he would like, I've known him for almost 15 years. I care enough to notice what he likes and dislikes.

OP posts:
JubileeJumps · 23/12/2023 23:14

My oh is hopeless at gifts. So I buy my own and tell him how much he owes me.
He is so good in every other way I really don’t care about the gift thing. This year ‘he’ got me a gorgeous handbag, make up and some Fortnum's chocolates.

Summasolstice · 23/12/2023 23:20

every year there’s the same posts. He doesn’t care about you, no ifs or buts

Honestly I’d rather just say to him, not to bother buying each other presents if he just can’t be arsed.

this is really not the answer.

Superduper02 · 23/12/2023 23:23

43ontherocksporfavor · 23/12/2023 22:52

I’d whack him over the head with them so he wears them like a Pru Leith statement necklace!!! He’s a grown man fgs!

🤣🤣🤣

grayhairdontcare · 23/12/2023 23:25

I think it's the realisation that you are not important enough and that they don't care or know you, if you live with someone and they can't even choose a small gift you would like.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 23/12/2023 23:35

Whisperingangel22 · 23/12/2023 23:07

Yes exactly that @PyramidDreams @Rocknrolla21. I absolutely will not be printing photos out to go in them. Either they get returned or I regift them to him on his birthday without photos in.
It's not as if he's been busy either. I was away with the kids last week and he had a few days doing his hobby off work.

Saying, I got the impression you liked them so much you might want them, Love. 🫣

lastchancesalmon · 23/12/2023 23:43

This sort of behaviour is one of the reasons I separated from my husband this year.

motherofgodhaudyerwheesht · 23/12/2023 23:44

PandaChopChop · 23/12/2023 22:45

I got ponchos at least 3 years in a row.
We separated earlier this year and he bought me another poncho for my birthday... 🤣🥲

thank you for making my christmas ❤️ 30 years of general festive martyrdom here - organising, buying all the presents, cooking all the food etc etc etc ....with him wailing how hard it is to buy me something so not bothering .... but now I can say 'at least he didnt get me a poncho' 🤣

tachetastic · 23/12/2023 23:47

You still have Christmas Eve for shopping. Go out and buy four photo frames and give them to him for Christmas and see his expression.

You can keep his other gifts for the afternoon or for Boxing Day after he has thought about how he feels being given the gifts he buys for you.

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