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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 8pm is too late to eat our turkey on Christmas Day

228 replies

Pinkevie · 22/12/2023 14:44

My in-laws are hosting xmas day this year and two days ago my husband announced that they are not expecting us to turn up until 6pm and will be serving the turkey at 8pm. (We live nearby so will be walking over). For me this feels ludicrously late in the day to enjoy the festive roast, especially as our 11 and 14 year old will be up at the crack of dawn and so we'll have been up for hours at this point. I think I'm going to be nodding off in the gravy. My mum is also joining us and suffers with terrible heartburn, she thinks she's going to have to forego a decent portion or face being up in agony all night. I could accept eating the meal at 6pm but 8pm feels so late. My husband says as his parents are providing the meal this year we have to go with a timetable that suits them and it will stress out his 80 year old mum if he mentions I want it to a bit earlier. A late meal has always been her preference. I get on well with her and don't want to upset her but think she would see reason if he broached the issue tactfully but he is refusing to do so and has forbidden me from asking her. I feel to bring it forward by a couple of hours would be a reasonable compromise. They'd still have plenty of time to prepare the meal at a leisurely pace but we wouldn't be hanging around all day before we can properly enjoy the festivities. I also think it's nice to enjoy a family game of charades or similar after christmas dinner but don't think we'll have time if we're starting so late. Curious to see what others think.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 22/12/2023 18:15

It is later than I would want to eat my Christmas dinner but I think it is too late to do anything about it now. Normally we have Christmas lunch / dinner at about 3pm and then some nibbles later. I think maybe you need to swap it around so you have some lovely Christmas nibbles as lunch and then have the dinner. But I probably wouldn’t agree to it again.

pinkspeakers · 22/12/2023 18:30

I definitely wouldn’t have another roast dinner at lunchtime. That would be far too much. I’d have a fabulous, festive brunch. I’d have mince pies or Xmas cake at 4. Then I’d offer to bring canapés and start serving those on arrival at 6 with drinks.

jamimmi · 22/12/2023 18:39

I'd agree it's a bit late. We dont normally eat till 7pm during the week.DS is working this Christmas so we won't eat till about 630 / 7 which I'm still trying to get my head round. Thinking brunch with fizz , bacon Barms and smoked salmon then dinner when he's in . But DD is 16 and.the rest or ua are adults..I'd ask if youncan help and maybe eat about 7??

JMoore · 22/12/2023 18:42

@Kirstyshine The first starter is foie gras (controversial, I know, but it already took some doing to make DH go without oysters, which I do not like at all, I couldn't take away the foie gras as well), the second starter is salmon. The main course will be honey-glazed duck breasts (magret de canard) with ratatouille. There are only three of us this year, so I cannot be bothered with a turkey. On Christmas Day, the second starter will be salad with leftover duck, and the main course will be beef in red-wine sauce with potatoes and red cabbage.

Of course, each course requires different wine, and kir royale with aperitif. I expect to be rather tipsy...

cardibach · 22/12/2023 18:45

Mirabai · 22/12/2023 17:50

I don’t really eat more on Christmas Day than for any other large meal. No-one’s being forced to stuff their faces!

Reading their thread it’s hardly surprising that 60% of the population is overweight or obese.

Oh ffs. One meal a year isn’t contributing to obesity. I actually lost weight over Christmas last year despite my disgustingly indulgent dinner, because I watched every other meal.

cardibach · 22/12/2023 18:47

oneflewoverthe · 22/12/2023 18:14

Dinner at 8pm isn't that late! Me and my DH both work full time and by the time DS is in bed (he has dinner at the childminders) we eat around 8:30. We aren't writhing in pain. It's totally normal among people I know too. But maybe when I'm 80 it will be a different story. I think as it's your MIL's timetable and your husband has asked you not to say anything you'll have to grin and bear it for one meal. I'd also guess most Christmas dinners aren't enormous 4 hour feasts so you won't be finished that late.

Your Christmas dinner? Or a normal weekday supper?

bellac11 · 22/12/2023 19:23

cardibach · 22/12/2023 17:41

I feel a bit sorry for you (tongue in cheek before anyone starts). No. It’s a starter with wine. A huge roast with about 8 veg and different wine. Huge pudding (and maybe a second pud) with different wine. Cheese and biscuits with port. Coffee, mints and liqueurs. Lots of socialising.

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Yes roast dinner is like that for us

We dont have mints and liquers and coffee, but we have lots of different veg and a number of different puds because I like to try each thing

I dont do a roast often though, like to make a meal of it

cardibach · 22/12/2023 19:42

bellac11 · 22/12/2023 19:23

Yes roast dinner is like that for us

We dont have mints and liquers and coffee, but we have lots of different veg and a number of different puds because I like to try each thing

I dont do a roast often though, like to make a meal of it

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Great.
I think it would be very unsustainable to have a meal such as I’m used to on Christmas Day more than, at most, a couple of times a year. I also think nobody would want to start it at 8 - not least because that would mean still being at table in the early hours.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 22/12/2023 19:45

DPotter · 22/12/2023 14:59

So you have a nice lunch instead - not a full Christmas roasty but something substantial to last you until 8. That way too your Mum can eat something and just nibble in the evening.

This is a good idea. I hate eating too late, I'm up all night when I do!

susiedaisy1912 · 22/12/2023 19:55

8pm for Xmas lunch is ludicrous in my opinion, the day is over by then, 8pm is time for pjs and chilling in front of the tv not to sit and eat a huge main meal.

bellac11 · 22/12/2023 20:04

cardibach · 22/12/2023 19:42

Great.
I think it would be very unsustainable to have a meal such as I’m used to on Christmas Day more than, at most, a couple of times a year. I also think nobody would want to start it at 8 - not least because that would mean still being at table in the early hours.

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Well we certainly dont sit at the table for hours, that sounds like torture to be honest. We tend to just eat it all day, coming back now and then for more but I have served it in the evening and it just means we eat all evening

Probably shouldnt for health and all that, but its not every week

cardibach · 22/12/2023 20:07

bellac11 · 22/12/2023 20:04

Well we certainly dont sit at the table for hours, that sounds like torture to be honest. We tend to just eat it all day, coming back now and then for more but I have served it in the evening and it just means we eat all evening

Probably shouldnt for health and all that, but its not every week

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It’s torture to linger over good food and wine with your family? Ok.

Dazedandcovidconfused · 22/12/2023 20:10

OP. YANBU, it’s incredibly late for a Christmas dinner, and not ideal for so many reasons!! I’d ask your husband to point out that with the kids that time would be tricky, and if they could start any earlier it would be helpful. They either will or won’t I suppose.

Mirabai · 22/12/2023 20:25

cardibach · 22/12/2023 18:45

Oh ffs. One meal a year isn’t contributing to obesity. I actually lost weight over Christmas last year despite my disgustingly indulgent dinner, because I watched every other meal.

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No clearly it’s more than one meal, that’s rather the point.

Whataretheodds · 22/12/2023 20:26

Kirstyshine · 22/12/2023 18:08

You can’t imagine it! Really?

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Sounds like most people on this thread can't imagine eating dinner at 8pm one year, so....

MotherofTerriers · 22/12/2023 20:41

I'd make a big festive brunch at about 11.30, and then a big nap. A few snacks at 5 ish and you should last until the meal

cardibach · 22/12/2023 20:46

Mirabai · 22/12/2023 20:25

No clearly it’s more than one meal, that’s rather the point.

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Where has anyone here spoken about more than one meal?

cardibach · 22/12/2023 20:47

Whataretheodds · 22/12/2023 20:26

Sounds like most people on this thread can't imagine eating dinner at 8pm one year, so....

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I can easily imagine it. So much so I know it wouldn’t work for the k8nd of Christmas dinner I and my family enjoy.

Icantbedoingwithit · 22/12/2023 20:56

No, too late for me. I wouldn’t enjoy it. However I would suck it up for one day and never ever go again.

Sunshineclouds11 · 22/12/2023 21:03

Too late for me also! But for one day I'd suck it up.
I'd also advise never again 😅

Moredarkchocolateplease · 22/12/2023 21:09

I might have been OK doing it when the children were little and I had more energy.

Now I'm mid 40s I'm in bed by 8.30/9pm most nights and especially on Xmas day when I've had a drink with lunch.

You are not being unreasonable op!

existentialpain · 22/12/2023 21:26

I never eat after 7pm so Christmas dinner at 8pm would be impossible for me. I'd be too tired to eat much by then and my sensitive stomach would keep me awake all night.

I understand that some people naturally eat late but I can't get my head around people doing Christmas dinner at the very end of Christmas Day? It just doesn't make logical sense.

ChateauDuMont · 22/12/2023 21:32

Christmas dinner should be no later than 2.00pm and finished by 3.00pm, followed by a walk and then the evening spent relaxing with loved ones.

userxx · 22/12/2023 21:33

At 8pm I wouldn't be able to do it justice, I'd feel robbed of being a greedy fucker.

Growlybear83 · 22/12/2023 21:36

ChateauDuMont · 22/12/2023 21:32

Christmas dinner should be no later than 2.00pm and finished by 3.00pm, followed by a walk and then the evening spent relaxing with loved ones.

Eating that early and then going for a walk afterwards sounds like my idea of hell! 😆😆. I think you should be far too stuffed after your Xmas dinner to be able to do anything but lie on the sofa and fart 😆😆

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