To think 8pm is too late to eat our turkey on Christmas Day

[Pinkevie]

My in-laws are hosting xmas day this year and two days ago my husband announced that they are not expecting us to turn up until 6pm and will be serving the turkey at 8pm. (We live nearby so will be walking over). For me this feels ludicrously late in the day to enjoy the festive roast, especially as our 11 and 14 year old will be up at the crack of dawn and so we'll have been up for hours at this point. I think I'm going to be nodding off in the gravy. My mum is also joining us and suffers with terrible heartburn, she thinks she's going to have to forego a decent portion or face being up in agony all night. I could accept eating the meal at 6pm but 8pm feels so late. My husband says as his parents are providing the meal this year we have to go with a timetable that suits them and it will stress out his 80 year old mum if he mentions I want it to a bit earlier. A late meal has always been her preference. I get on well with her and don't want to upset her but think she would see reason if he broached the issue tactfully but he is refusing to do so and has forbidden me from asking her. I feel to bring it forward by a couple of hours would be a reasonable compromise. They'd still have plenty of time to prepare the meal at a leisurely pace but we wouldn't be hanging around all day before we can properly enjoy the festivities. I also think it's nice to enjoy a family game of charades or similar after christmas dinner but don't think we'll have time if we're starting so late. Curious to see what others think.

Really? 19:30 or 20:00 are very normal times to book a restaurant table for.

Largest?

Its just a roast dinner with some pudding after?

My preference would be to book for 7pm myself. However, I wasn't talking about a restaurant, I specifically meant Christmas dinner. I don't think it is comparable.

Maybe in your house, but in ours it is massive!

Yeah this is not just a roast here either. Mutilple meats, multiple types of potatoes, more veg than normal, pigs in and out of blankets, two types of stuffing the list goes on.

Dh and I eat our weekday evening meals around 8pm, but Christmas day? No fucking way!

The whole point of the day is to spend hours at the table eating and chatting and playing games and that cannot (and should not) start at 8pm.

It's a big roast dinner, where you may go back for seconds. I would not normally have a rich pudding after a roast dinner any other day, or be drinking any Baileys or been snacking on nuts, dates, or chocolates on the same day.

@pinkspeakers We always go for an early table around 6.30. Our fave restaurant sadly didn’t survive lockdown but they used to do a pre theatre supper from 5pm, slightly limited choices but much cheaper.

Yes theres lots of components, I do a normal roast dinner just the same.

I dont know what to say then, other than Im just greedy all year round!

Unreasonable when one suffers from heartburn.

That explains a lot!

I always wondered why articles in magazines always blathered on and on about Christmas leftovers and turkey curry and so on. We rarely have much left over at all. A few roasters and a bit of whatever meat/salmon dish we'd done that year, usually.

But we just cook a roast dinner, not several types of potato and several types of meat. I guess if it's a massive blow-out you're expecting to graze on for hours, 8pm might feel rather late.

I still feel the ones doing the hosting get to set the timings.

Haha same. I could regularly eat a Christmas dinner at 8pm, no worries 😂

yeah I'm with you there OP, by that time I'll be relaxing on the sofa with a cup of tea watching Call the Midwife digesting a small tea. We eat main christmas dinner at 1pm, then a small tea at 6pm.

All those people who say they couldn't possibly eat a big dinner at 8pm, what time do you eat if you go out to a restaurant? Or to someone's house for dinner?

6.30 - 7. DH can't eat late due to cancer surgery on his oesophagus. Although I do eat more when it's Christmas dinner, and prefer to eat it at lunchtime.

An 80-year-old woman is cooking Christmas dinner for you and you're upset at the time. YABVVU.

I plan to have the main course on the table around 9 PM, both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Aperitif is around 4.30/5 PM, then there are two starter courses, maybe a sip of Calvados (DH is French), next the main course, then cheese, and finally dessert (after presents at midnight Christmas Eve).

Dinner at 8 PM - if it's just turkey and dessert - is fine. Have a nice late-morning brunch, and a nap in the afternoon.

Well I personally wouldn't choose to eat Christmas dinner at 8pm and never have. I'd find it hard not to stuff my face all day with chocolate and snacks and then end up spoiling my dinner I think.

But it's their turn to host and you have to go with what the hosts want. Plus she's 80, little unusual that she even wants to eat so late, but most older people don't have large appetites though. Suck it up this year.

On the rare occasion I go to a restaurant I don't want to eat later than 6pm. I get IBS if I eat later.

"just assumed he/his parents would factor in the kids"

They're 11 and 14 and why on earth will they be either ravenous or full of selection box? Just do a nice big lunch and tell them not to overdo it on the chocolate. Time to stop babying them.

Your mum is the one you should be concerned about if anyone

If I were you, I would do a proper Xmas lunch on Christmas Eve then something nice and substantial for Christmas Day lunch which isn’t turkey. Then just have a smaller portion at the ILs, as if it were reheated leftovers from the day before.

Our Christmas dinner involves a minimum of 4 hours at the table. We don’t just rush a quick roast. It wouldn’t work for me because I’d be at table until gone midnight and then would want at least a couple of hours for the meal to ‘go down’. If you just snaffle a quick supper, fine. That’s not Christmas dinner to me.

What are the 2 starter courses? Is the main a turkey roast?

I love the idea of a fancy evening Christmas dinner, if I’m not cooking. I’d have a full English, go for a long walk over lunchtime and then an afternoon nap before getting my gladrags on.

Hi, OP -

I understand your concern for your DM, which may not have occurred to anyone else in the family. That’s too bad.

This is a French or Italian Christmas dinner time. Many millions of children thrive on it. They don’t spend all day filling up on candy, either.

Similar to your Mum, I understand PPs who need to eat earlier for medical reasons, and of course I support those who give reasons for whatever their preference may be. ‘I like my way’ is fine. But the harsh statements that your MIL is wrong (beyond the relatively minor, and manageable medical issue for your Mum) are small minded and weird.