To think 8pm is too late to eat our turkey on Christmas Day

[Pinkevie]

My in-laws are hosting xmas day this year and two days ago my husband announced that they are not expecting us to turn up until 6pm and will be serving the turkey at 8pm. (We live nearby so will be walking over). For me this feels ludicrously late in the day to enjoy the festive roast, especially as our 11 and 14 year old will be up at the crack of dawn and so we'll have been up for hours at this point. I think I'm going to be nodding off in the gravy. My mum is also joining us and suffers with terrible heartburn, she thinks she's going to have to forego a decent portion or face being up in agony all night. I could accept eating the meal at 6pm but 8pm feels so late. My husband says as his parents are providing the meal this year we have to go with a timetable that suits them and it will stress out his 80 year old mum if he mentions I want it to a bit earlier. A late meal has always been her preference. I get on well with her and don't want to upset her but think she would see reason if he broached the issue tactfully but he is refusing to do so and has forbidden me from asking her. I feel to bring it forward by a couple of hours would be a reasonable compromise. They'd still have plenty of time to prepare the meal at a leisurely pace but we wouldn't be hanging around all day before we can properly enjoy the festivities. I also think it's nice to enjoy a family game of charades or similar after christmas dinner but don't think we'll have time if we're starting so late. Curious to see what others think.

8pm?!!!!! Ridiculous. That's leftover sandwich time, not dinner time!!!! I don't know what to say OP but I'd be having my dinner at 2-3 pm and just picking at bits over there.

If you knew eating late is her preference, I'd have wanted to know what time she was thinking when I was invited - only because I absolutely would not want to eat a heavy meal at this time so would have declined the invite. Might be you have to suck it up this year, but in future years clarify what's intended and if it's really late, ask if you can go for a few hours in the day and come home and cook your meal around teatime.

I would hate that. I can't sleep on a full stomach.

In our case DH has very valid health reasons for not eating this late and he would just send his apologies and not go.

I would just do a Christmas dinner at lunchtime at home and just nibble at the evening one. Although, I'm surprised an 80 year old wants to eat that late.

That is so late and the sort of time MIL likes to eat. We are having dinner at 5pm due to an emergency services worker joining us on Christmas Day and they are doing Christmas Eve as a night shift the night before. I have never eaten this late but obviously I’m fine waiting. I would have food that’s not Christmas dinner that my family love as an early lunch midday on Christmas Day. If she does not plate up and has food in serving dishes then that’s easy to take a small amount.

I don’t think it’s a big problem with children those ages. It’s a bit of a shame for your mum but she’s an adult so I’m sure will cope.

Can you not tell your kids not to get up too early? Or at least not to wake you before, say, 8 or 9 am. Mine are 9 and 15 and would be able to deal with that- bearing in mind the anticipated late night.

Have a really chilled day with films etc, a decent but non Christmassy lunch like Shepherd’s pie or lasagne or similar - and then you’ll be fine!

I’d actually quite enjoy that. Was just discussing it with my dad for another year - although he says he can’t due to diabetes- but otherwise would be a plan!

When I was growing up, we used to have ours at about 7pm, it was lovely, candles lit etc and felt very grown up when I was your DC’s age. We had a buffet lunch, smoked salmon, cheese & champagne then a late Christmas dinner. I think it would be OK to ask if she could bring it forward an hour?

I prefer to have our Christmas meal at around 6 pm but wouldn't find 8 a problem. If the meal was finished by 10, then there would still be two or three hours left to watch tv or do other things before bed. Baby the time my daughter had got to 11, early starts were a thing of the past and even on xmas day it was difficult to get her up and dressed by 11 o'clock.

Can you not tell your kids not to get up too early? Or at least not to wake you before, say, 8 or 9 am.

I couldn't sleep past 7am myself as I am up at 6am on weekdays and in bed at 10pm. My body clock would wake me.

Love the idea of telling the kids not to wake up too early, why didn't I think of that before?! 😂

we usually always eat out Christmas meal around 8pm. No one can be bothered to start cooking earlier: your teens def shouldn’t be up that early. Have a chilled afternoon so you’re rested for the evening

They’re not kids. They’re teens. They can understand that they’ll be up late that evening so their decision if they’re tired

Two children. They eat at 6, we eat from 8, sometimes more like 9, we go to bed about 11, they go to bed at 7.30 and 8.45 respectively. 11pm is a perfectly normal bedtime!

I literally can’t remember the last time I stayed up till 1am, I don’t even stay awake that late at New Year! If a meal finished at 10pm, I’d probably be asleep at the table before dessert was served.

The teen is autistic and adhd and always wakes at crack o'dawn, sadly not a realistic prospect for us to to tell him not to get up early...if only!!

do a Vicar of Dibley, Xmas lunch at yours, Supper with in laws?
DH can let her know in advance that its a bit late, so you'll only be wanting small portions - although TBF, on a workday it's usually 8 or 9 before I eat my main meal.

8pm is ridiculous in my opinion, I would say thanks but no thanks and have my own at home

Why doesn't your dh just call then and offer to host instead as obviously hosting is a lot of work for them at their age.

8pm feels very late for Christmas dinner (isn’t the big meal kind of the point of the whole day? What do you do all day if you’re not having a gigantic meal slap bang in the middle of it?), but if you’re not hosting, you don’t get much say. You could ask if one hour earlier would be possible given your mum’s heartburn issue; that wouldn’t be unreasonable given there is a valid reason for asking and it’s only an hour’s difference.

Neither me nor dp would eat this late.Especially a Christmas dinner.
Have some lunch as others suggest. The kids will want feeding anyway.
If your not hungry when you go to mil just pick at it and move stuff around your plate.
How long will you have to stay after dinner.?
It would be a nightmare for me. I'd just want to get home and get settled

Me neither! 10pm to 6am Is my normal sleep time. Home at 11pm and bed at midnight would mean a 9pm bedtime the following night.

I wouldn't be happy but I'd accept it's the hosts decision to make. The problem is most people serve up a bit later than they say they will so it could be even later. I'd probably cook up a big brunch at 12pm sausages, bacon, scrambled eggs, hash browns, baked beans, mushrooms for those that like them and toast with fresh orange juice.

Ugh that would be way too late for me. I don't think I could sleep with a heavy meal on my stomach. Apart from everything else it's better health wise to eat a large meal earlier in the day .
Breakfast like a king , lunch like a prince and dine like a pauper, as the saying goes 😉

I'd be gutted to be missing out on a leftovers sandwich for tea!

It’s a completely normal time to have dinner. Not the time we have ours but I’d be fine with it and would be baffled if someone complained- I’m really struggling to understand the issue (unless you’re counting “not exactly the time I’d have picked” as an issue). It’s pretty much the most normal dinner time imaginable.

Obviously in the minority though.