To think women who enjoy choking during sex should know the risks?

[ImTheGoat]

In a different thread the topic of choking during sex has come up repeatedly. Some women say they enjoy it and it's none of anyone else's business. Others have said it gives abusive men an excuse to hide behind if and when they murder their partners- see here for some tragic stories but bear in mind they're upsetting https://wecantconsenttothis.uk/

My own point of view is that choking during sex is dangerous. Study after study have pointed out that it can cause death or lead to brain damage. It's easy to find this information online but here's an article about it https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-sexual-asphyxiation I do think people should be able to do what they want sexually if it isn't hurting anyone. But I also think people should be aware of the risks. In the other thread people who raised any objection to choking during sex were called "pearl clutchers" or "sex police." AIBU to think no, knock yourself out if that's what you want to do but at least acknowledge it isn't a safe sexual activity?

The idea of being strangled for kicks really does upset me actually.

@Comedycook if you’re genuinely interested go and read my previous posts

You wrote:

We did have a little accident once where DP nearly choked me out (the elbow round neck from behind technique). He wasn’t squeezing really, just holding me but his muscles were tense and it obviously must have cut my blood supply. I started seeing stars but had plenty of time to tap out then fell forward on the bed confused. I was probably seconds from passing out, took me a minute or two to come back to reality. He was horrified may I add. He’s worked as a bodyguard and various security roles so he’s used this in anger before when being attacked, and thought the way he was holding me wouldn’t do a thing because he wasn’t really squeezing! It wasn’t intentional at all.

That doesn’t read like an effective communication system that prevented harm. You were unintentionally harmed; you started seeing stars because you were oxygen deprived and your carbon dioxide rose. It wasn’t planned. You were able to prevent further harm, but not the initial harm and another few seconds and you may not have had the capacity to tap. It was a near miss. You could use that to implore the risks to others, instead you’re using to demonstrate it’s perfectly safe.

Fucking hell, another of the "being strangled is great!" brigade thinks that it takes several minutes to strangle someone to death. Teenagers really need to be educated about the risks, there are grown women getting involved in things they don't have a clue about, confidently lecturing people about the crap they believe like they're an expert.

@NotBadConsidering you seem to be fundamentally misunderstanding how this works. I chose for that to happen, allowed him to do that. Took on any risk of the situation, which after having had it explained to me and me looking into it (and deciding I did not want to go through with a full choke out) I felt was negligible. When I felt I no longer wanted to continue, I said stop, and he did. Immediately.

I actually left it a few seconds, I could have tapped earlier but allowed it to continue, then decided no, I do want to stop. So we did. Simple.

There was no demonstrable harm done to me. If I’d passed out, there’d have been no harm, I’d just have come round again. We haven’t repeated it as no need or desire to, he showed me it, it clearly doesn’t work for me, so it stops there.

I have at no point encouraged anyone to do it, I’m talking about my own choices in my own life. Not saying copy me, not saying anyone else should do it. That’s their choice to make.

@Totallymessed that wasn’t strangulation, that was a one off choke hold with no intent of loss of consciousness. My breathing is never obstructed during sex. But you’d know everything about me, because you’re an expert.

So much stupid.

This doesn’t make it sound any better. There was harm. You saw stars because your brain was compromised. What you mean is there was no irreversible harm. The point is if you had left a few seconds more, you would not have been able to tap.

This is a sexual practice where the margins of harm are just a few seconds, and the most significant outcome is death.

@NotBadConsidering No irreversible harm is basically no harm. Again, it’s my choice what I allow to happen to my own body. I’ve already answered the point about “if” I’d not tapped out. Still no irreversible harm. And irrelevant because I did tap, and he stopped.

Your partner asphyxiated you to a point of decreased level of consciousness. If you think that wasn’t harm because you don’t believe any neurons were killed off, I don’t know what else to say.

You are also way off the mark in believing that death would only ensue with one variable, the length of pressure applied. There are other factors intrinsic to the victim recipient: the state of their arteries, if they’re a smoker, their cardiovascular health, any medications increasing risk, any underlying genetic abnormalities, vascular defects, and so on. One person might be able to tolerate a more prolonged period, another person might suffer significantly with only a short period. This would only be unmasked at the time of the event.

@NotBadConsidering I chose to do it. And I can continue to choose what I do, whether you approve or not. I’m not going to suddenly go “oh, yeah, I had no idea strangling people can kill them, I’ll swap to vanilla sex asap!” any more than you’re going to choose to start - the difference is I’m not asking nor expecting you to.

I’m never “strangled” as I dislike the feeling of my trachea being pressed too hard, so I’m at zero risk of death (from sex at least), as I’ve confirmed and you’ve ignored in your desperation to prove that you’re right. You may note I described it as “hand around the neck” in my initial post, as that’s all it is.

It should always be murder because if you put your hands around their neck you knew they could die. The sentences men have received for manslaughter, if even found guilty at all, are usually less than 5 years.

Also maybe the weird responses from those who claim to like it can be explained by the brain damage the medical literature posted says they are extremely likely to now have.

Also many have children, sad they don't care they may die and leave their children without a mother. And are at very high risk of stroke.

Good the law has already changed, terrible to see some people try and still make this ok if consensual even though the law makes it so its never possible to consent.

Totally agree. But god forbid we ‘kink shame’ anyone. It’s one of the worst things you can do these days, it seems. Grim.

You like being slapped and choked? What the hell is wrong with you?

That’s fine, you do you. But anyone who does it is at risk of death. It’s worrying you’re under the misapprehension and continue to spout the falsehood that if the partner stops in time it’s always fine. That clearly isn’t true. This thread was about making sure people understand the risks when they choose to do it and you clearly don’t.

Not read the whole thread yet but just felt this was worth bumping as it’s such a brilliantly insightful comment. I’m so pleased there’s critical thinking going on with this thread.

@NotBadConsidering yeah, you’re right, I do fail to see the risk of being able to breathe with a hand around my neck.

I do riskier things than that to save people’s lives. I guess I should stop doing that too and just let them die 🙂 god forbid I should take a risk with my life….

It would be interesting to see which age groups are baffled by women saying they enjoy choking/strangulation & which ones like it.

I'm early 50s and it's not something I've heard my age group discuss. I perceive it to be risky.

Look at the cases where it's gone wrong - yet the men try to get off by saying if was consensual. There's been loads in recent years.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MurderoffGraceMillane

I also don't understand the trend for anal. We were told on school inset it's likely more popular as you won't get pregnant.

Those of you keen on being slapped & strangled seem to consider those of us who think it's risky as Mary Whitehouse type figures. We're not - we're just concerned about the safety of young women.

Lovely ablism of you to interpret my formal use of language, use of learned stock phrases (from my autism, not something I can switch off at will), and concern for the well-being of others as "patronising and condescending".

It's not the airway obstruction that's a risk, it's the pressure on veins and arteries. A medical professional commented some time between 5pm and 6pm, read her post.

@SkySecret you silly silly woman

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia I’ve seen it thanks.

@KlaraKettlebell another one lacking in reading skills.

So even though you experienced an episode where it went wrong, you fail to see the risk?

Ok.

The rocket scientists I have met know that choking kills they have a special class on it