To think women who enjoy choking during sex should know the risks?

[ImTheGoat]

In a different thread the topic of choking during sex has come up repeatedly. Some women say they enjoy it and it's none of anyone else's business. Others have said it gives abusive men an excuse to hide behind if and when they murder their partners- see here for some tragic stories but bear in mind they're upsetting https://wecantconsenttothis.uk/

My own point of view is that choking during sex is dangerous. Study after study have pointed out that it can cause death or lead to brain damage. It's easy to find this information online but here's an article about it https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-sexual-asphyxiation I do think people should be able to do what they want sexually if it isn't hurting anyone. But I also think people should be aware of the risks. In the other thread people who raised any objection to choking during sex were called "pearl clutchers" or "sex police." AIBU to think no, knock yourself out if that's what you want to do but at least acknowledge it isn't a safe sexual activity?

Quite.

I'd run fast from a man who was happy to do this.

I honestly think that any woman who enjoys being strangled needs psychiatric help.

@thedankness and if you can’t understand that you know nothing about other people, their lives or their choices and still insist of insulting them, then you’re the fool.

By fool she means naive. It's her opinion.

I'm horrified by the idea of strangulation during sex. If someone ever suggested this to me they wouldn't see me for dust and I would probably also warn any mutual female friends.

@Ereshkigalangcleg you don’t get insult people by calling it an “opinion”. Sorry.

An opinion on the subject is saying you don’t want to do it, you don’t like it etc. name calling those with different opinions is calling being insulting. This thread has definitely shown a few people that need a refresher on manners.

Yes. Thanks, stinkingbishop. Quite horrifying to read this:

'There is growing evidence that strangulation may actually be the second most common cause of stroke in women under 40.'

@InAMess2023 yep, I'm telling you you don't like it and like I said, I stand by that. You are doing it to please some bloke and the risks are just enormous. So you're either a bit stupid or you're feeling all empowered etc (misplaced)

You possibly will understand when you suffer permanent damage.

A man who wants to throttle his partner during sex is not any man that any sane thinking woman should want to know. That you try and defend what I think is indefensible is just moronically stupid.

I'm sorry if you think I'm rude and condescending. Obvs my opinion as some internet random has no bearing on your sex life so don't waste your breath berating me again.

Chances are, keep it up and you'll have no breath to waste anyway

@Ereshkigalangcleg is right. I can phrase it differently: trusting a man who wants to strangle you is foolish, unwise, naive, a poor decision. That is my opinion. It's not an insult for insult's sake. It's a judgement based on my analysis of the situation. Not everyone will form the same judgement as me. But I think you are offended because it is hard to argue against the points and critical analysis laid out here with such shallow arguments as "I like it" and "it's my choice". The women who enjoy this practice have not spoken much on this thread about what they think about men who enjoy the act of strangling, or provided much insight into why as women they enjoy it. I would be interested to hear that.

I think not being open to others' point of view and accepting that different people like different things makes you boring and narrow mindedness is wrong. Nothing wrong with vanilla sex I like it myself, it's not like I'm asking to be flogged etc every time.

Do people need a degree to know strangling kills it really is not rocket science

@CherryJones1 actually im not into it either. If you'd bothered to read any of the comments I'd made 🙄

But it's offensive to try and tell people what they do and don't like and why. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean others don't either.

Calling someone stupid and telling them that they don't know their own mind and what they actually like is beyond insulting

Clearly hasn’t read the thread either as the non-vanilla things I enjoy isn’t strangulation! It’s not for me but I am so sick of people trying to tell others their own minds!

Not seeing the irony in what they're saying either. You only like it because men have told you you do, I'm telling you you don't, like what?!

@thedankness and fortunately your opinion on things you know nothing about are entirely irrelevant and mean absolutely nothing.

I’m not offended that some uppity randomer on the internet tried to insult me. Because I know the facts of my life and you don’t.

In answer to your question: I don’t know why I like it. I just always have. It’s not a porn thing because I grew up pre smart phones and porn wasn’t something all kids routinely watched at the time. I attended a girls school so I wasn’t influenced by what boys wanted or liked. I didn’t know any.

I knew from being a teenager that I wanted to lose my virginity to a random person and just get that bit over with. I had zero interest in the view perpetuated that it should be “special” with someone you love. Nope. Didn’t want that.

I’ve never equated love and sex. Ever. And no, I’ve never been sexually abused, or any kind of abused. Two normal, loving parents. I don’t have an issue having sex without love, though I rarely enjoy the sex if the person doesn’t know me, so that’s not something I pursue.

From very early in my sex life (probably before it started) I knew I liked the idea of feeling submissive, and the acts that entails. So I tried it out. I enjoyed it. I continued to enjoy it as I grew older. I still do, 20 years later.

It’s a bit like saying “why do you enjoy oral sex?” Or to others “why DON’T you enjoy oral sex?”. I doubt they can give you an answer other than “I just do” or “I just don’t”

No one has ever asked me to submit. I’ve never been forced or coerced to do it. I always chose and wanted to.

DP didn’t even want to rush into sex, let alone anything else. He wanted it to be “speshul” bless him. Just because sometimes we have it a bit rough and role play, doesn’t mean he’s a psycho 🤣 because I know him, I know he’s incredibly loving, affectionate, kind, loyal, helpful, generous and adores me. Whereas you’ve taken one minuscule element from a comment on the internet and think you can come up with a personality profile.

To be fair, that kind of thing would fall under biology or even anatomy, a rocket scientist really wouldn't be the person to go to regarding anything to do with the respiratory system

I did not say it was my experience. I would hate it. Read about the effects of strangulation and you will see how dangerous it is and how it takes seconds not minutes to cause damage. Seeing stars suggests that something happened. Look, I don ‘t want to upset or disrespect you. I just cannot understand it at all. In fact the thought of it really upsets me.

@YeahIsaidit I think one of my previous posts was making that point too... you only like it because men told you to... whilst simultaneously trying to dictate that we shouldn't like it 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Ramalangadingdong you’re not upsetting me, but you are disrespecting me.

I honestly don’t care if things that I do, that have no impact on you, upset you. That’s beyond ridiculous.

But you said “boring screws”. You obviously think people have boring screws if they’re concerned about strangulation.

It’s concern, not narrow mindedness. On this thread you and @SkySecret have admitted between you you have no conclusive way of ensuring you can signal if it goes to far, and SkySecret has had a near miss, is under the false impression that the only way death can ensue is through a deliberate act. And you both purport to be experienced and only do it in trusting relationships. But you dismiss concern as people being “narrow minded” who must only be into “boring screws”.

We just don’t want women to die.

@NotBadConsidering and where does anal sex come into this? Being told that that also fits into the category of 'things women don't really enjoy but just pretend to because xyz' doesn't come from not wanting someone to die...

@NotBadConsidering ah ok, so the fact I had a way to communicate when I wanted him to stop, and it worked, is me not having a way to signal if it goes too far? 🤣 makes perfect sense, yep! 🤦🏻‍♀️

And one more time for the hard of hearing - I can ALWAYS breathe! I cannot die of strangulation WHILE BREATHING. According to you lot I best stop swimming too, as if I hold my breathe for a few seconds I’ll get brain damage 😂

The choke hold was a one off and actually not during sex, as confirmed earlier on. That is not an act we use during sex.

so yes, I’m perfectly safe, and I don’t need your concern. Some people actually WANT to be killed during sex. What lectures do you have for them?

Ask the people who brought that up. I’m focused on strangulation.

The choke hold was a one off and actually not during sex

Why were you in a choke hold?