To think people without kids have more money?

[Zoomzoomzoomzoom0]

Than people with kids I mean. Twice this week I've had single child free friends tell me how
" lucky" I am that I have my husbands pension to " fall back on". I don't even know what that actually means, he has his pension, I have mine, we both work, 1 pension per person. Neither of us will be able to retire early. We have 2 kids. Kids cost a bloody fortune.
I sort of let it wash over me the first time, but the second remark ( different person) bugged me.
She said " Well I don't have my husbands pension to fall back on" so I said " You also don't have kids costing you a bloody fortune"
I don't care about other people's life choices, or how they spend their time or money, I honestly barely think about other people! Except today obviously 🤣
Both of these women obviously think I am financially better off than them. I've never thought about it, but how could I be??? ( we all work in the same industry btw, on similar wages)

Ah yes. That deep empathy that parents are famed for is heavily evident in your last paragraph. To make a mocking comment like that about childless people, as distinct from childfree people, is quite simply disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself. But I doubt you’ll ever reach that level of self-awareness

Hear hear.

@Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong feel like screaming 'but you get to have your OWN ROOM' - do you not think I would much rather get my own room too?? But no I can't afford it ...

And your friend can? Even though her household has one income to cover all outgoings and yours has two? Okaaaay.

Sounds like you don't like your DH and family very much anyway. Maybe you should move out and go rent a room in a houseshare. Live the dream!

@sammylady37 I suppose what I meant was I feel even if I’ve had to pay out a lot more I’ve got something for my money.

People who have chosen not to have children usually do have a lot more to spend on themselves.

Having children is not always easy - you have to take the rough with the smooth. But then having a child is not like having a pet - there is a benefit to the entire population in raising the next generation.

If people have not been able to have children, but wanted them, that’s a different situation. I didn’t mean to offend anyone.

I got the impression someone was implying it’s easier for single people because they choose to live alone and tend not to take in a lodger or live with flatmates versus someone who has to live with a family they have created themselves. I think the latter position is more of a privileged one!

Yes, and I think if someone has made a choice to be single because that’s what they prefer and having disposable income is more important to them then fair enough but I think a lot of single people may have not been lucky enough to meet someone and/or to have had children so people in the latter position are quite insensitive to say the single people through circumstance are luckier!

And I think anyone who has properly been single not necessarily through choice probably knows more what the reality is compared to those who haven’t ever really been single, these people IME tend to have quite the romanticised version of singledom!

That doesn’t make sense, though.

People who’ve chosen not to have kids - what would they care for your Ha! when the last thing they’d want or envy you for is to spend time with children?

People who’ve been unable to have kids - they are the ones who haven’t had your fortune and who are going to feel the sting of that Ha!

Nobody boasts about the joy of having something that someone else hasn’t got and never wanted. They do that in respect of a situation where they got what someone else wanted and didn’t get.

And it’s doubly-insensitive, because many childless women will have spent tens of thousands on IVF and therefore have neither money nor children.

(I also hate the trend on here where someone says something vile about those without kids and thinks it’s an actual defence to be like, oh no I didn’t mean it about those people without kids, It’s always the go-to defence because inevitably everyone agrees that you can be as vile as you want to people who’ve chosen differently.)

You cannot say ‘there is a benefit to the entire population in raising the next generation’, many adults are not a benefit to the population.

Kids cost a fortune and usually impact on at least one persons earning potential.

I acknowledged this morning that I was being unreasonable, and that the real difference is married v single. I also acknowledged that I brought having ( expensive) kids into the conversation. Conversation which came about whilst discussing retirement generally, as people of our age do.
I didn't really get why they were both sort of vexed with me, but I do now!
(as I mentioned, the first time I said nothing, the second time I brought up expensive children etc...)

Kids are expensive, as are grandchildren, especially as adults. But it was our choice to have kids, so we have to suck it up. 😗

Why is it OK to expect me to share space with a random stranger but not expect you to?

My point is everyone wants their own space! Having your own space is a huge privilege and comes at a cost

Says who?

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain
Your user name makes me smile 😊

I don’t understand, i don’t think the sarcasm translated, I don’t think sharing a property with random strangers is the same as sharing a property with a family you have made, as in I think the latter option is a more privileged one imo and one that a lot of people aspire too understandably

I'm just here with my popcorn watching a load of strange women on the Internet tear chunks out of one another for making different life choices.
How fucking sad. And it's supposed to be a cheery time of year. I wonder if men do this to one another (spoiler - they dont).
And before anyone asks why I don't just stop reading....I'm on a delayed train back from work and have already read the ENTIRE Internet.

Housing costs are horrendous.

So out of kilter with pay.

I wonder what this would have looked like 30 years ago?

This thread seems to be comparing a single person without children to families who have children
2 variables.

If you are in a couple and don't have children and you are on good incomes, then I guess you are doing ok - but no doubt may have expenses.

Being single, having rent to pay, on average wage or less and not in a house share can be expensive.

I started a thread once about using the wrong lane to exit a roundabout. This is incredibly civilised by comparison 😁
( I was wrong that time too. Every day is a school day)

It’s not that you’re “wrong”@Zoomzoomzoomzoom0 you just compared 2 different things. Interesting debate nonetheless!

You could share a two bedroom flat though.

Should single people be able to afford their own place on an average wage and be able to have a decent lifestyle as well?

House prices, rentals are expensive. Houses and space is at a premium.

I do wonder what it was like years ago - before house price inflation really kicked in.

Well anybody could do anything. All of these hard-working families could share four bedroom houses, one for each two families. That way they wouldn't be claiming the billions in universal credit and tax credits that they require to pay their mortgage and bills in a living space unpolluted by people not related to them.

Yes of course children are expensive, but if you are comparing living costs for a single person v two earning adults, then of course it's expensive for the single person on one wage . So you aren't really comparing like with like . And it's much harder for a single parent than for a couple with children living together.

I kind of feel I'm stating the obvious here .....

Mind you - the person I know who moans most loudly about her financial situation is someone without children who lives with her long term partner. Both work full time and on an OK wage 🤷‍♀️