To think people without kids have more money?

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Than people with kids I mean. Twice this week I've had single child free friends tell me how
" lucky" I am that I have my husbands pension to " fall back on". I don't even know what that actually means, he has his pension, I have mine, we both work, 1 pension per person. Neither of us will be able to retire early. We have 2 kids. Kids cost a bloody fortune.
I sort of let it wash over me the first time, but the second remark ( different person) bugged me.
She said " Well I don't have my husbands pension to fall back on" so I said " You also don't have kids costing you a bloody fortune"
I don't care about other people's life choices, or how they spend their time or money, I honestly barely think about other people! Except today obviously 🤣
Both of these women obviously think I am financially better off than them. I've never thought about it, but how could I be??? ( we all work in the same industry btw, on similar wages)

People choose to work part time because they believe it's better for the children rather than for their own benefit. That's certainly the reason I did.

Not all wealth or worth can be measured in monetary terms.

How do you still not get it? It's not a choice. I cannot share a flat with strangers. I'm not sure how this is so difficult for you.

Of course being single at 40 is different to being single at 21. At 21, most people are likely to have mates to share with. At nearly 40, most people are coupled up. I can't flatshare with a mate now. They're all living with their husbands and kids. Because most women (and men!) are not single in their late thirties and forties. I can't believe this needed explaining. Even the government don't expect older adults to share flats, which is why over 35s get housing benefit for a flat and not just a room.

You really just can't get your head around anyone not being you, can you? It's incredible. Zero empathy.

I haven't said nobody has a good reason not to share, just that if they don't want to they have the choice not to. Some people don't mind regardless of their age and they can save money by doing so.
It's a bit rich to start telling people they have zero empathy and can't understand that not everyone is like them given you also keep insisting that everyone would prefer to be married rather than single and that those with children made the choice to have them.

But they don't always have the choice. I don't know a single person over 35 who flatshares because they want to. Most do it out of necessity, not choice, and some like myself have no choice at all.

It's easy to say what you would do when you're not actually in the situation, isn't it? If being middle aged and single is so great, why aren't you doing it?

I'm not single because I like marriage to DH but that doesn't mean being married is always better than being single.🙄

Please explain how a single person should flstshare a 1 bed or studio flat of that is all they couldnafford to buy.

Love to hear how you think they have a choice? Are you going to suggest they somehow build another bedroom?

This is why posters are saying you don't get it because you make huge assumptions like single people having spare rooms they can just rent out.

People often spend all there money so perhaps perceive those in different circumstances as having more 🤔

Why does everyone hate people who have children these days ? And yes it's our choice to have them 🙄 but doesn't mean it's not an expensive outgoing like they don't cost less because we wanted them and children are not a "lifestyle" choice as I seen another person say, it's literally human nature to birth and raise children and we'd be fucked without it so you are all welcome 😅

As we get older we realise that comparison is the enemy of joy. Let people say what they want and let it wash over you, what does it matter. Nobody really knows what people spend money on, what other commitments, caring responsibilities they have etc. People always like to make out they have it worse or better than someone else. Just switch your mind onto something else when you catch yourself comparing and let people's comments go, pity them for wasting their time and mental energy trying to work out whose life is better/worse. However rich, poor, attractive, intelligent, etc etc you or someone else is there will always be someone else richer, poorer, more attractive etc...no point bothering about it.

It's obvious people without kids have more money, but then they don't have the kids, either. For most people, you choose which you prefer, then don't complain about people who make different choices.

(I'm not referring to people who don't have the choice. That's entirely different).

In my circle, my childless single female friends are more cash rich with access to more of their wages to spend on day to day things whereas me and my other married mum friend are richer in assets having been able to buy our own houses…

I live on my own and get the 25% discount on council tax. I could choose to think of it as a 50% surcharge on what I would pay as half of a couple. But I don't begrudge the money, because my luxury is having the house to myself. It works out at less than £10 per week over a year, which I think is a bargain. If I had to, I would willingly pay many times that sum for the joy of not having other people underfoot all the time.

It's obvious people without kids have more money

You’re right - everyone in the UK is on the same salary with identical housing and bill costs, with the only differentiating expense being children!

Oh wait.

Don’t be so obtuse.

It’s not being obtuse.

It is not “obvious” that people without kids have more money, because people have different financial circumstances. A childless person on NMW and renting is highly unlikely to have more money than a couple each earning the average wage and with a mortgage.

Saying it is “obvious” perpetuates the idea that all single childless people are high earners and luxury spenders. That has a societal impact, because it means that single people who don’t fit the mould are very vulnerable to poverty and homelessness.

There is no other way to interpret the statement “obviously childless people have more money than parents”, which is one that has been repeated numerous times through the thread, than that the person saying it has assumed that childless people earn at least as well as they themselves do and have similar mortgages.

No. I think it is men with children who earn the most, there was a study on this. Like some bosses actually view a father as more competent regardless of the reality! I do hope things are changing. So no childfree adults might have to deal with stigma and prejudice in the workplace too. It can be rather precarious being single especially those with disabilities.

Nobody said they hate children and yes it is a choice especially since there are more than enough people on the planet. We are are hardly going extinct!

Its the sheer entitled attitude that parrnt shave that they always think everything it's harder for them and to op post she couldn't even understand her friends point of view about the financial risk childree single people have. Its also the constant you have more money than us comments as seen on this thread by parents with no acknowledgement that its still for the majority a choice to have kids and that your choices affect what your disposable income is spent on. Not to mention to constant moaning by parents of how they deserve more money and help from the government without even saying you know my single childfree friend gets duck all help and money for her choices

Sorry, posted on the wrong thread.

YABU to think that but you are extremely thoughtless to have said that in response.
You have no idea why people don’t have children and you may have said that to someone who can’t… your comment is way more personal than theirs IMO.

This requires context. Without it it’s pointless. For example my boss has never had kids and prob in his 50s and lives in an expensive area, got a Porsche and travels all the time to far flung destinations and stays in 5 star hotels.
By contrast I’m younger, married with two young kids with a husband who earns well but we spend so much money on our kids for example of our nursery bill alone was £3.2k a month. If both of us didn’t have kids I’d be driving a Porsche and travelling all the time with the wages that both my husband and I are on. All our money gets sucked into bills and paying for the kids 🫠😵‍💫
Another thing is travelling outside of school holidays and with no kids cost considerably less so I’m sure he’s going to retire on a wedge of cash whilst we will be working for a while trying to pay off the bills that are constantly coming in 😂

I think telling someone ‘at least you have your husbands pension to fall back on’ is a really weird statement irrelevant of if you have kids or not. It’s a really really odd thing to say!!!!

and be aware of using your kids being expensive as a come back. I understand why you’re doing it but these people saying these comments might not be able to have kids

I've lived independently as an adult with and without children, without was definitely easier and cheaper. Not to complain because it's absolutely worth it. The birth rate is the lowest ever and people certainly seem set on making having a family seem miserable when it's the complete opposite. Not having children or staying married is also a choice unless you're physically unable to.

I do get it because like most people with children, I have experienced being an adult without children. I would avoid buying a one bed or studio flat if at all possible even if that means living further away from work or a less nice area (as long as not dangerous) There is more flexibility if you have two or more rooms as you can have lodger(s). Also in the 80s prices dropped faster for one bedroom and slowest to go up again in the 90s.

Aye and if your auntie had balls she'd be your uncle.