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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sisters nicknames for DD

175 replies

Joolea · 20/12/2023 13:59

Sister has called DD “meatloaf” since she was a few months old. They have a very close relationship and DD absolutely adores her. Sister kindly does a lot of our childcare too (by choice, I’ve never asked her to).

Anyway I asked her to stop calling her meatloaf and the numerous variations of it (meat, meaty, bread loaf, dominoes, nut loaf etc etc) after a bit because it wasn’t exactly a compliment but DD was so upset that her auntie had stopped calling her “their” special names that it ended up carrying on.

Now DD started school in September and sister kindly picks her up for me 4 days a week. Last week a teacher took me aside at home time and asked if I was aware of the names my sister calls DD. I said I was and that I didn’t like it but DD gets upset when she stops. Teacher replied “ok, as long as you’re aware”. With a face on.

Now I feel awful like I’m allowing my DD to be called mean names but DD likes them!!

WIBU to put a stop to it knowing that DD will be upset?

ps. name change as very outing to anyone that knows us!

OP posts:
UnctuousUnicorns · 27/12/2023 13:17

Our mum called my brother "Scone 'ead" (short 'o' sound) all the time when we were growing up! 😅

FettleOfKish · 27/12/2023 13:20

I've been called 'Toad' by family for most of my life. Not exactly flattering either but has done me no harm.

It came from Rebecca > Rebeki > Jared Rebeki > Toadfish > Toad.... a child of the peak Neighbours era!!

I think the teacher was out of line OP. What's wrong with meatloaf anyway?

ValkyrieAssassin · 27/12/2023 13:37

Heavens. I call my DS1 'potty bot'. It's a play on our surname. DS2 has a slightly ruder version of the Russian diminutive for his name which is also a play on words (he was named after my Russian grandfather).

Mind you I don't do that in the hearing of anyone outside the family.

Blinkityblonk · 27/12/2023 13:39

One of my cousins was known as 'Lulu' or 'Lu' but the word 'loo' became all too much at primary and she asked everyone to stop calling her that in public.

I think 'Dominos' won't be a kind nickname for a tubby teenager, to be honest.

As long as you are alert that these may need to change over time, it's ok, I had a friend whose sister used to do exactly the same but there was a slight undertone of nastiness about it, I think it's a little different when parents do it and they are more likely to be sensitive to the child loving/not liking it.

maggiecate · 27/12/2023 13:41

My mum still gets called Beetle by her best friends from school - none of them can remember how it started. They’re 86.

Zanatdy · 27/12/2023 13:41

Why is meatloaf offensive? Leave them be, I love names that evolve from things, my kids have variations of their names and I wouldn’t be offended by meatloaf

Blinkityblonk · 27/12/2023 13:43

Also 'meaty' means chunky, again, not quite the same as 'beetle' or 'maggot'. Perhaps get your sister to stick to one or two cute but not offensive, a lot of kids do get sensitive to weight. I'm thinking of the 'Chubby' remark in Love Actually, when of course Martine McCutcheon wasn't chubby at all, in fact, there are weight-related remarks all through that film!

LlynTegid · 27/12/2023 13:51

I was expecting two out of three to think it was bad.

Glad the teacher approached you about it.

cerisepanther73 · 27/12/2023 13:53

I would wonder 🤔 what is it about the word meatloaf your sister often refers your daughter about it?

Is it for example a reference about your daughter's physique or something else?

another words the intentions behind this nickname,!?

If this nickname is said about your daughter in a negative connotations

Your daughter could have just got conditioned normalised to thinking something is affectionate, the nickname your sister says to her,
when it's in reality contradictory to that.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 27/12/2023 13:55

Are you sure that you did not steer the conversation with your child's teacher to the nicknames yourself? I do not believe that she took you aside at the end of her exhausting day to discuss the devastating effect of a 4 year old being called "meatloaf".

cerisepanther73 · 27/12/2023 13:56

@Joolea

To me the words 'Meatloaf " is a negative one it comes across that there is something about her physique like your daughter is chunky

another words referencing about your daughter's weight

so in instead of saying the controversial obviously emotive word fat

Your sister is saying that in a not so obvious roundabout way so less offensive...

Keiraleigh · 27/12/2023 13:57

I call my niece chunky butt. It's not malicious. If she ever asked me to stop I would

cerisepanther73 · 27/12/2023 13:58

@Joolea

I think 🤔 your sister nickname is emotionally abusive unpleasant undertones there is something about it

I don't like either concerning about it...

Thegoodbadandugly · 27/12/2023 14:09

I really don't understand why a teacher would pull you up on that a it sounds very very unusual.

cooldarkroom · 27/12/2023 14:10

My dad called my older brother & I "Fruitcake" (s) (derived from ,"Nutty as a fruitcake"), one day he called my little bro "Current Bun", he was outraged !😂

cunningartificer · 27/12/2023 14:12

I understand cute nicknames but some of they people here saying that they would stop if the child asked... just be aware that children accept what they're called and it takes quite a feisty one to say to a loved relation that they don't like that nickname. I was called things in jest affectionately when I was little but didn't like them,

silverspoonspoon · 27/12/2023 14:17

omg i call my daughter my little meatball 🤣 i think her teacher is being weird

Isotired · 27/12/2023 14:20

I call my niece pig but it’s a nickname for her. She loves it. She’s my little tigpig.

Beautyfadesdumbisforever · 27/12/2023 14:23

I don’t think there is anything wrong with the nickname just maybe not use it at the school gate.
I have witnessed many a parent kiss there child put them on the school bus and call out bye piglet or similar have a lovely day.
30 seconds later everybody laughing child either joins in or their head goes down.
A boy named Sue isn’t always a good idea even if done with the best loving intentions. Depends on the child.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/12/2023 14:27

Meatloaf Is an odd nickname, but if your dd is happy with it…

I’m reminded of a friend who once worked in a nursery. One day she asked the children what their mummies and daddies called them.
Most said, ‘Mummy calls me Honeybun, Sweetie Pie, My little soldier’, etc. but one little girl piped up, ‘Mummy calls me a little cow! She says, ‘You little cow!’ 😱

Mikimoto · 27/12/2023 14:30

UnctuousUnicorns · 27/12/2023 13:17

Our mum called my brother "Scone 'ead" (short 'o' sound) all the time when we were growing up! 😅

We believe you.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/12/2023 14:30

A Dsis used to call her dh ‘Warthog’. Said affectionately though!

Deathraystare · 27/12/2023 14:40

How old is your daughter. It might start to matter when she gets older. Some children can be very cruel and pick up on that. However, unless your child is chubby then I cannot see it will be a problem.

StoodySmithereens · 27/12/2023 14:44

I get the impression that you’ve never really liked this OP. You told your sister not to call your daughter Meat Loaf/Chunk, yet she ignored you. Should your daughter become a fat, moody, teen, she will no longer love her cute little nick name, or aunty leg😏end.

ToWhitToWhoo · 27/12/2023 14:50

If your dd doesn't mind, why should the teacher?

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