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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sisters nicknames for DD

175 replies

Joolea · 20/12/2023 13:59

Sister has called DD “meatloaf” since she was a few months old. They have a very close relationship and DD absolutely adores her. Sister kindly does a lot of our childcare too (by choice, I’ve never asked her to).

Anyway I asked her to stop calling her meatloaf and the numerous variations of it (meat, meaty, bread loaf, dominoes, nut loaf etc etc) after a bit because it wasn’t exactly a compliment but DD was so upset that her auntie had stopped calling her “their” special names that it ended up carrying on.

Now DD started school in September and sister kindly picks her up for me 4 days a week. Last week a teacher took me aside at home time and asked if I was aware of the names my sister calls DD. I said I was and that I didn’t like it but DD gets upset when she stops. Teacher replied “ok, as long as you’re aware”. With a face on.

Now I feel awful like I’m allowing my DD to be called mean names but DD likes them!!

WIBU to put a stop to it knowing that DD will be upset?

ps. name change as very outing to anyone that knows us!

OP posts:
Original poster
Joolea · 20/12/2023 14:55

My sister is affectionately known as Maggot by DD - this came about DD never quite grasped how to pronounce Margaret 😂

I’ll let the nicknames continue ☺️

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 20/12/2023 14:57

That's exactly what my sister would do. I wouldn't be bothered.

LakeTiticaca · 20/12/2023 14:57

My daughters lifelong friend is called Natasha. It used to be shortened to Tasha, then evolved into Slasher, or Slash.
I've not seen her for a few years but she always sends a Christmas card signed, with love from Slasher 😁😊

Checkcheckandcheckagain · 20/12/2023 15:02

I think it's cute and nothing to worry about at all. My brother has always called me Grotbags Grin He's nearly 50 now and I'm well into my forties but still calls me it! I love nicknames, we have some great ones for our DCs, DH even named his company using one of them!

caringcarer · 20/12/2023 15:04

My DD has the middle name Michelle then she was little she could not say it properly as she has a lisp and said seashell. My sister thought it hilarious so called her first name then seashells. Over time it just became seashells. My DD is an adult but her Aunty still calls her seashells. I think it's cute.

Superscientist · 20/12/2023 15:05

There's a difference between affectionate names given in public and insults only given in private.

I think they are cute nicknames but are close to names that could be given as insults so I see where the teacher was coming from in terms of checking they are names openly used at home and those given maliciously by a care giver. I wouldn't give it much thought

My sister used to be called slimy bum name fine it was said in jest and she still was included in the joke. I had the nicknames pizza face and timber in school. Pizza face after boys rubbed pizza in my face I wasn't a fan of this. Timber was from friends when I had a period of frequent fainting I didn't mind it. Intent is the main thing

shreddednips · 20/12/2023 15:05

Ah the teacher needs to get a grip, this is very cute and shows the lovely bond your DD has with her auntie. My DS is lovingly called Piglet (and variations- Pigling, Piggington etc) because I was off my chops on pethidine when he was born and was loudly marvelling that he looked like a lovely pink piglet post-birth. He loves it and enjoys being told the 'mummy thought I looked like a baby piglet' story, he knows it's not because he's actually pig-like!

It runs in the family, my mother was known as 'la porcelette' when she was little.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/12/2023 15:06

It's not a mean name.

She's calling her a funny personal name your niece enjoys. She's not walking up and saying come on you little bitch.

Why do you think it's mean? Why do you think your sister would be unkind to your daughter?

Prawncow · 20/12/2023 15:12

I’d ask your sister to not use the names at your DD’s school. If the teacher heard then your DD’s classmates probably heard it too. ‘Meatloaf’ or ‘nutloaf’ are cute as family nicknames but your DD probably doesn’t want random children at school to call her that.

JenJenJenJenJenJen · 20/12/2023 15:18

I probably wouldn’t send your kid in wearing large-collared white shirts under black waistcoats either.

Original poster
Joolea · 20/12/2023 15:19

SleepingStandingUp · 20/12/2023 15:06

It's not a mean name.

She's calling her a funny personal name your niece enjoys. She's not walking up and saying come on you little bitch.

Why do you think it's mean? Why do you think your sister would be unkind to your daughter?

Because the meatloaf name came about as sister thought she looked like meatloaf (the singer!) as a baby - because she was chubby - so it does have questionable roots but I know my sister didn’t mean it in a malicious way - and DD is no longer fat so it certainly doesn’t mean that now but that’s why I originally asked her to stop calling her it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Joolea · 20/12/2023 15:20

JenJenJenJenJenJen · 20/12/2023 15:18

I probably wouldn’t send your kid in wearing large-collared white shirts under black waistcoats either.

Edited

😂😂 please don’t give my sister ideas

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 20/12/2023 15:20

BlueberryVelvet · 20/12/2023 14:01

Good lord is everything offensive nowadays?

Your DD will be fine, everything will be fine, it’s a bonding thing for them and your DD has already shown her feelings about it.

Exactly.

It's you who is offended by the nicknames, not your sister.

You said your sister did 'kindly' things for you twice in your opening post so it is your turn to be kind by putting up with the nicknames, which your daughter likes.

Tooshytoshine · 20/12/2023 15:20

My sister calls me monkey or if I am not there as the monkey. I call both my kids silly nicknames. My kids think I am cross if I don't!

Teacher needs to chill out!

TomatoSandwiches · 20/12/2023 15:25

Maggot & Meatloaf, they sound pretty perfect tbh, what a lovely relationship.

WASZPy · 20/12/2023 15:27

My DS is called squid because as a wet, leggy baby in the bath that's what he looked like. Then it turned out he was very good at swimming and it stuck forever. He would also think I was cross with him if I called him his real name.

OhmygodDont · 20/12/2023 15:30

There is a bug in our family because when born had eyes like a bugslife ant. Its stuck the kid has no idea why but likes the nickname.

Checkcheckandcheckagain · 20/12/2023 15:55

@Joolea BIG Meatloaf fan here so I absolutely love it!

IFindYouAnnoyingNigel · 20/12/2023 15:56

My friends include Spanner and Clanger (they don't know one another so it's not outing). Those are school nicknames dating back to when we were 5. I like a good nickname. My siblings and I all have 'home' names, as do my DC and their friends.

MonsteraMama · 20/12/2023 15:57

My favourite aunt has called me Maggot since I was a baby. I'm 33 now and would be very upset if she stopped!

Timeturnerplease · 20/12/2023 15:58

I’d love to be that teacher who had enough time to worry about this kind of stuff. I barely have enough headspace to remember my own name during term time, and I’ve been doing the job for donkey’s years.

WetBandits · 20/12/2023 16:00

Workway · 20/12/2023 14:29

My brother calls me snotface. Has done since I was a kid. I'd be upset if he stopped.

Let it go.

Is your brother Drop Dead Fred? Grin

theduchessofspork · 20/12/2023 16:01

I have to say I think meatloaf is adorable

What’s the problem with it?!

miniegg3 · 20/12/2023 16:02

My ds recently told me when he was in preschool he told them that we called him gremlin 🤣

theduchessofspork · 20/12/2023 16:07

WASZPy · 20/12/2023 15:27

My DS is called squid because as a wet, leggy baby in the bath that's what he looked like. Then it turned out he was very good at swimming and it stuck forever. He would also think I was cross with him if I called him his real name.

We have a Squid !

And also a Boozy (she refused the breast but loved her bottle)

And a MooMoo

And an Oudiepud

I would be very happy with a little Meatloaf in future

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