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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sisters nicknames for DD

175 replies

Joolea · 20/12/2023 13:59

Sister has called DD “meatloaf” since she was a few months old. They have a very close relationship and DD absolutely adores her. Sister kindly does a lot of our childcare too (by choice, I’ve never asked her to).

Anyway I asked her to stop calling her meatloaf and the numerous variations of it (meat, meaty, bread loaf, dominoes, nut loaf etc etc) after a bit because it wasn’t exactly a compliment but DD was so upset that her auntie had stopped calling her “their” special names that it ended up carrying on.

Now DD started school in September and sister kindly picks her up for me 4 days a week. Last week a teacher took me aside at home time and asked if I was aware of the names my sister calls DD. I said I was and that I didn’t like it but DD gets upset when she stops. Teacher replied “ok, as long as you’re aware”. With a face on.

Now I feel awful like I’m allowing my DD to be called mean names but DD likes them!!

WIBU to put a stop to it knowing that DD will be upset?

ps. name change as very outing to anyone that knows us!

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 20/12/2023 16:11

miniegg3 · 20/12/2023 16:02

My ds recently told me when he was in preschool he told them that we called him gremlin 🤣

😁

Someone started a thread about wondering if nicknames were confusing for little kids, and a primary teacher came on and said reception children regularly tell her their names are Grub or Snoopy because they haven’t realised they are actually called George and Alice, but they do eventually and no harm is done…

therealcookiemonster · 20/12/2023 16:19

oh no! bring out the smelling salts! lol

it is a cute name. as long your dd is OK with it, I would leave it. the teacher is right to be concerned but not right to judge.

your dd is so lucky to have such a lovely relationship with her aunt. my uncles and aunts have all sorts of nicknames for me. it only serves to strengthen the bond.

Workway · 20/12/2023 16:24

WetBandits · 20/12/2023 16:00

Is your brother Drop Dead Fred? Grin

Show quote history

That's where he got it from 🤣

Topseyt123 · 20/12/2023 16:24

I think it is a great relationship between your sister and your DD.

I can't see why the teacher felt the need to take it so seriously and question you about it. She'd probably keel over backwards if she heard some of the things we call each other in this house!!

I suppose it was the sort of thing my very old school father actually might have questioned in his teaching days. That was because in my parents' book they were the only ones allowed to use shortened versions of their names, or nicknames. Nobody else was at all.

Leave them to it.

Jingleballs2 · 20/12/2023 16:25

theduchessofspork · 20/12/2023 16:11

😁

Someone started a thread about wondering if nicknames were confusing for little kids, and a primary teacher came on and said reception children regularly tell her their names are Grub or Snoopy because they haven’t realised they are actually called George and Alice, but they do eventually and no harm is done…

Show quote history

I have a grub!!!

CKL987 · 20/12/2023 16:26

My dad used to call me a name similar to Fatty until I was about 8 and I had no issue with it. My DH now also calls me something similar.

Amumof287 · 20/12/2023 16:28

Don’t see why a teacher would pull you aside about that. My daughters nickname started off as Cora cakes and now she’s cake bake, bakery, bake off, British bake off. my sister has always called my son the sausage biscuit man 🤷🏻‍♀️

Notimeforaname · 20/12/2023 16:30

Ffs its not a big deal. It's a nickname, your child likes it. You cant control it. Leave it alone.

Reugny · 20/12/2023 16:30

Joolea · 20/12/2023 15:19

Because the meatloaf name came about as sister thought she looked like meatloaf (the singer!) as a baby - because she was chubby - so it does have questionable roots but I know my sister didn’t mean it in a malicious way - and DD is no longer fat so it certainly doesn’t mean that now but that’s why I originally asked her to stop calling her it.

Show quote history

And there was me thinking it was because your DD was a fast mover and it's less of a mouthful.....

Doingmybest12 · 20/12/2023 16:40

I don't think it's the teachers business if your daughter is happy but I wouldn't like my child to be called it and I don't know why a loving aunt would want a negative name to stick. Its like something funny at your child's expense because she doesn't understand the context. I realise this makes me sound stuffy and lacking warmth and humour but that is how i feel about it. I can see everyone else is positive about this but I assume you also posted for other views.

OrchardApples · 20/12/2023 16:46

Ah! I call my niece all sorts she’s also 4. I call her pudding, cakes, chicken, little chicken leg…maybe I’m weird too haha

Doingmybest12 · 20/12/2023 17:03

Thinking about the teacher, I don't think she did anything wrong. Terrible things happen and people disguise meanness by saying it's humour. I am sure the teacher didn't relish the idea of asking you so she must've felt it was right to check with you, maybe your daughter said other things that sounded a bit off. Unless the teacher is a nightmare I would take it that she's hot on safeguarding which is a good thing.

momonpurpose · 20/12/2023 17:44

Are you maybe a bit jealous of the close relationship your daughter and sister have?

SleepingStandingUp · 20/12/2023 17:51

Amumof287 · 20/12/2023 16:28

Don’t see why a teacher would pull you aside about that. My daughters nickname started off as Cora cakes and now she’s cake bake, bakery, bake off, British bake off. my sister has always called my son the sausage biscuit man 🤷🏻‍♀️

TBF, there's someone who regularly picks up a child and she calls her a name that links to the child being nuts. Letting Mom know that happens is reasonable. Being snooty once Mom made it clear it wasn't malicious is less ok

Shewaswanton · 20/12/2023 17:55

Your sister is a godsend. I would make sure your DD knows that she can ask anyone to stop using any nickname at any time she becomes uncomfortable. Tomorrow, next year, when she turns seven… whenever.

I was called two different nicknames by my father, both had « chubby » connotations and I hated them. He wouldn’t stop using them even when I pleaded with him to do so. It led to anorexia in my late teens… or at least had a lot to do with it.

So just make sure your DD knows she is in control over her nicknames. This can be done without suggesting the names your sister currently uses are anything other than her very special terms of endearment.

BranstonPickleandPeanutButter · 20/12/2023 18:06

DS is any version of ratbag. It's a family thing and totally fine.

StBrides · 20/12/2023 18:34

This thread is a tonic! Your sister sounds amazing and love the nicknames they have for each other!

Friendfoe1 · 20/12/2023 18:34

Meatloaf isn’t offensive.

Mumof2NDers · 20/12/2023 18:43

flowerchild2000 · 20/12/2023 14:23

I hope some version of Meatloaf sticks, it's just so adorable. I know a full grown man whom everyone calls 'Binky'. It's had to have been about 40 years since he used a pacifier. I don't even know his real name. My DD13 calls DD1 'Goofy' which has now turned into just 'Goof'. I did want to say something about that but I held it in.

DS1 (23) is known as Gam(shortening of our surname) by everyone except my family. Some of his newer mates don’t know his actual name! I called him knobhead for years. He was even saved in my phone as knobhead! He calls me My G.

Hankunamatata · 20/12/2023 18:54

Love the fact she has an auntie maggott.

thismummydrinksgin · 20/12/2023 18:59

She's a lucky little girl having a Aunt that loves her and has built such a lovely relationship with her.

Heart90s · 27/12/2023 13:06

I feel like this is such a none issue? Nick names and silly names are affectionate and cute. Your daughter likes it, so why the problem? If she was upset I'd get it. I call my daughter all sorts of food variations as nicknames; chicken pie, hot chocolate, ravioli, chilli Con Carne... Don't know why, it's just funny?

fr4zzledmum · 27/12/2023 13:13

That's a cute nickname!

I've called my DD "Dave" as a nickname since she was about 1. I've no idea why but its just stuck!

fr4zzledmum · 27/12/2023 13:16

My cousin once went to school and told the teachers my granddad's nickname for him - penis features.

crazeelala2u · 27/12/2023 13:17

My kids were always called sh**bird or sugarbutt by some in my family. I never liked it, but the kids, who are now 19 & 24 get crazy upset if their nicknames aren't used.