Page 25 | Think this school policy is ridiculous

sadbutdontknowwhy · 2023-12-20T11:50:25+00:00

Secondary school DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term. Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it. Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well! Arghhhhh. Rant over.

Thementalloadisreal · 20/12/2023 17:37

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:33

It could have been given to her son. It was a deliberate punishment for the parent.

I note that you hate parents and note that you have no evidence OP is a "piss poor parent". I note that you seem like the sort of person who delights in punishing parents and you have absolutely convinced me that I was right - the teachers concerned are nasty nasty people who revel in inconveniencing parents.

You have emphasized to me that I should never ever ever automatically side with the teacher and instead I should probably assume they are stupid and vindictive and that I should always back my kids unless I have hard evidence (photo, video etc) that my kids did wrong.

I say this as someone whose partner is a teacher by training.

Teachers generally (and my partners agrees with me on this) seem to forget that they are preparing children to become adults, and that the parents already are adult, and that you don't treat adults like children.

And can I just make clear... we are massively pro education, both me and partner have degrees, post grad AND professional qualifications, and we very well behaved kids whose biggest complaint about school is other kids disrupting classes. Rules, discipline and punishments are all necessary, but that does not make every punishment that is conceived either morally right or EFFECTIVE at it's goal.

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Picking up a phone is not a “punishment”. It’s just collecting your property. Your issue with this is the same as OPs, you seem to think your rules and your time are worth more than the school staff’s.

I'm not sure when or why this became all about you but frankly going on about “hard evidence” and “we have degrees!” just advertises that you’re probably a right pain in the arse to your kids’ school😂

WearyAuldWumman · 20/12/2023 17:37

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:36

Cool story bro.

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True story. Bro.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:37

ThanksItHasPockets · 20/12/2023 17:26

Only if the parent is petty and stubborn!

Secondary schools rarely need parent volunteers. Are you making barely veiled threats against thousands of schools?

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Also, being petty and stubborn is not a crime! In many respects both can be seen as attributes (though not entirely, obviously).

hangingonfordearlife1 · 20/12/2023 17:38

@AnonnyMouseDave Don't understand your writing. It's absolutely 100% not illegal. As SLT in a secondary school i've had this conversation with more parents than I care to remember and they have always been directed to the government legislation and police if they feel that way inclined.

Thementalloadisreal · 20/12/2023 17:38

and no I didn’t specifically say Op is a bad parent I said they deal with piss poor parenting every day generally and I’m sure your hypothetical “consequences” mean very little to them.

IFindYouAnnoyingNigel · 20/12/2023 17:39

shearwater2 · 20/12/2023 15:38

You do need a phone and the QR code on the app to get into Pure Gym, unless you memorise your PIN.

In that case, you memorise your PIN! Or write it on your hand or - incredibly - on a piece of paper.

Thementalloadisreal · 20/12/2023 17:40

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:37

Also, being petty and stubborn is not a crime! In many respects both can be seen as attributes (though not entirely, obviously).

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Unless the school wants to be petty and stubborn and then they’re being unreasonable 😂

ThanksItHasPockets · 20/12/2023 17:40

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:37

I am expressing my massive anger at the outrageousness of this school policy and the mini-dictators who support it.

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You’ve called a OP’s DS’s headteacher a piece of shit and threatened to make an imaginary HT’s life hell. Genuinely, you need to take a breath. You sound unhinged.

seafronty · 20/12/2023 17:40

@Catza you are truly the bravest amongst us. Fighting for the rights of the lowly human against the scourge of the TV Licence people and schools. Please collect your medal at the front desk.

Fullofxmascbeer · 20/12/2023 17:41

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 15:47

@Luxell934
I'm not punishing him by stopping him going to the gym
He has to hand his phone in when he gets back and isn't allowed to take it to school tomorrow.

So you could have left it till tomorrow to pick the phone up. School didn’t close today for Xmas.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:41

hangingonfordearlife1 · 20/12/2023 17:38

@AnonnyMouseDave Don't understand your writing. It's absolutely 100% not illegal. As SLT in a secondary school i've had this conversation with more parents than I care to remember and they have always been directed to the government legislation and police if they feel that way inclined.

Are you saying you always have the right to confiscate phones past school hours, because that is categorially wrong according to the link upthread?

WearyAuldWumman · 20/12/2023 17:42

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:37

I am expressing my massive anger at the outrageousness of this school policy and the mini-dictators who support it.

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Massive anger?

stomachameleon · 20/12/2023 17:46

@AnonnyMouseDave what's a 'teacher by training'? Do you mean your partner is a teacher or doing their teacher training at the moment?

Your very angry about something that didn't involve you.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:51

ThanksItHasPockets · 20/12/2023 17:40

You’ve called a OP’s DS’s headteacher a piece of shit and threatened to make an imaginary HT’s life hell. Genuinely, you need to take a breath. You sound unhinged.

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I am very angry (not quite unhinged) at the thought of my kid's safety after school being put at risk and / or myself of my partner being massively inconvenienced as a result of the school using inappropriate punishments, yes. I'm actually fuming here, and I am genuinely kinda "on guard" ready to deal with any shit that my kids face from batshit teachers when they get to secondary as a result of this thread.

Perhaps I should not worry as I have no signs yet of any disobedience from them at school.

Teachers have a massive habit of treating all students (including 17 and 18 year olds) as "little children" and their parents no different (teachers seem to forget that adults are adults and need to be treated as adults). If teachers choose to significantly inconvenience me by being stupid and petty and treating me like a fucking toddler then they can expect some pushback. Send me an email or call me or an arrange a meeting at a mutually convenient time if you wish to discuss my son, and just give my kid his phone back FFS.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:51

stomachameleon · 20/12/2023 17:46

@AnonnyMouseDave what's a 'teacher by training'? Do you mean your partner is a teacher or doing their teacher training at the moment?

Your very angry about something that didn't involve you.

Trained to be a teacher, used to be a teacher, may be a teacher in future, not currently a teacher.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:53

stomachameleon · 20/12/2023 17:46

@AnonnyMouseDave what's a 'teacher by training'? Do you mean your partner is a teacher or doing their teacher training at the moment?

Your very angry about something that didn't involve you.

Some people - I am one - have a very very clear idea of right and wrong, and I get very very angry when I see things that are wrong. HTH.

Original poster

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 17:54

@Fullofxmascbeer

Nope. I am working right up to Xmas Eve so couldn't collect any easier tomorrow

OP posts:

Tacotortoise · 20/12/2023 17:56

And has it ever occurred to you that your ideas might be wrong @AnonnyMouseDave ? And that perhaps all this anger might really stem from other causes?

Qwerty556 · 20/12/2023 17:59

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:51

I am very angry (not quite unhinged) at the thought of my kid's safety after school being put at risk and / or myself of my partner being massively inconvenienced as a result of the school using inappropriate punishments, yes. I'm actually fuming here, and I am genuinely kinda "on guard" ready to deal with any shit that my kids face from batshit teachers when they get to secondary as a result of this thread.

Perhaps I should not worry as I have no signs yet of any disobedience from them at school.

Teachers have a massive habit of treating all students (including 17 and 18 year olds) as "little children" and their parents no different (teachers seem to forget that adults are adults and need to be treated as adults). If teachers choose to significantly inconvenience me by being stupid and petty and treating me like a fucking toddler then they can expect some pushback. Send me an email or call me or an arrange a meeting at a mutually convenient time if you wish to discuss my son, and just give my kid his phone back FFS.

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Teach your kids to behave and you'll be fine.

Qwerty556 · 20/12/2023 18:01

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:53

Some people - I am one - have a very very clear idea of right and wrong, and I get very very angry when I see things that are wrong. HTH.

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Repeatedly using your phone is class is wrong. By your logic the school has every right to be very very angry.

RatatouillePie · 20/12/2023 18:01

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:51

I am very angry (not quite unhinged) at the thought of my kid's safety after school being put at risk and / or myself of my partner being massively inconvenienced as a result of the school using inappropriate punishments, yes. I'm actually fuming here, and I am genuinely kinda "on guard" ready to deal with any shit that my kids face from batshit teachers when they get to secondary as a result of this thread.

Perhaps I should not worry as I have no signs yet of any disobedience from them at school.

Teachers have a massive habit of treating all students (including 17 and 18 year olds) as "little children" and their parents no different (teachers seem to forget that adults are adults and need to be treated as adults). If teachers choose to significantly inconvenience me by being stupid and petty and treating me like a fucking toddler then they can expect some pushback. Send me an email or call me or an arrange a meeting at a mutually convenient time if you wish to discuss my son, and just give my kid his phone back FFS.

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If you cannot support school policies then you should consider home schooling your children.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 20/12/2023 18:02

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 20/12/2023 17:18

Do you realize that many people have a massive problem with authority as a result of dickhead schools and teachers with insane rules and nasty petty punishments?

Do you realise that schools introduce more draconian rules because many kids have a massive problem with authority because their parents have no boundaries, can't say no to them, and model poor behaviour themselves? The rules are in place to deal with the behavioir, they don't cause it. Most students who behave really badly have already learned those behaviours before they go to school, certainly before they go to secondary school.

If the school wants to punish me for what my kids do then they will face consequences. Nothing illegal, maybe just not help out at the school fete and boycott it

I expect they'll be quaking in their boots!

Not being funny and quoting wrongly probably but schools these days are hardly doing what they did in my day (70s) which was the cane in headmasters office or a board rubber thrown at a child’s head in class.

These days that is illegal. It probably was illegal back then.

There are too many parents around now (and in the past) who think angelic little Johnny who’s actually a pain in the arse at school and doesn’t listen, think he can do no wrong ever and take umbrage if the teacher dares to try to discipline him/her.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 20/12/2023 18:03

Tacotortoise · 20/12/2023 17:56

And has it ever occurred to you that your ideas might be wrong @AnonnyMouseDave ? And that perhaps all this anger might really stem from other causes?

Heaven forbid!

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 18:09

Tacotortoise · 20/12/2023 17:56

And has it ever occurred to you that your ideas might be wrong @AnonnyMouseDave ? And that perhaps all this anger might really stem from other causes?

I constantly consider that I might be wrong, and it's a massive part of posting on forums like this - it gives numerous strangers the chance to convince me I am wrong, and sometimes they do! Not here though!

My anger stems - and I am very very sure of this - from petty rules and stupid punishments at school and to a lesser extent home. If you tell me I can'T cross a slow quiet road unless the green man is showing - despite the road being clear for a long way in both directions - then I am going to make a point of crossing when I am not supposed to, even if I need to cross straight back because I was on the right side to start with. If you tell me my hair needs to be short I'm going to grow it out for the first time in decades. If you tell me not to use the word "bloody" in a adult social event because it is rude then you are going to hear the c-word A LOT.

RatatouillePie · 20/12/2023 18:09

Either support the school policies, find another school where you DO like the policies, or home educate their children.

There is absolutely no point moaning about school policy. If you don't support the policy, then clearly the school isn't the right one.

If you can't find any school where you can support their policies, then it says more about you than the school, so home schooling would perhaps be the best option!