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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - neighbour fallout

227 replies

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 00:52

I really don’t think I’ve done anything wrong here, but it’s weighing on my mind a lot so here I am…!

Recently, a small business in our village held a charity raffle to win a fairly high-end beauty product (worth approx £300). I didn’t actually know about this raffle until my next door neighbour mentioned it to me - (I personally have never used this business before so did not see that they had been advertising the raffle on their social media as I don’t follow them.)

The prize was something that I would love to have anyway, and so I entered the raffle.

I was very surprised to receive a phone call a couple of days ago to be told that I had won it! I went in to collect it. They asked if I would mind having my photo taken with the prize, and for the photo to be posted on their social media, which I was fine about. I was really pleased, I never win anything and it truly made my day!

They were completely lovely to me when I went into collect it, that I may well start using this business regularly now.

Anyway - this is where it all went a bit wrong ..
the following day, I bumped into my neighbour whilst having just left the house to walk the dog. Before I could say anything to her, she said to me, ‘I see you are the winner of the raffle then’ in quite a cool tone.. I replied, and told her that yes, I was really pleased and very thankful ..

The conversation was very quick as it was raining and I didn’t want to hang around, and to be honest, I didn’t give it much more thought after this.

But… I was absolutely gobsmacked to get a knock on the door this evening, from my neighbour. As it happens, I was going to deliver her Christmas card tonight anyway, and so I had it on the table by our front door so when she opened the door I said hi and said something along the lines of ‘oh while you’re here, let me give you this’.. and proceeded to try to give her the card, but she replied with, “ yeah, you can keep it… You realise that, if it hadn’t been for me, you would never have even known about the raffle, right?”…. I was a bit taken back by this, and I told her that I was grateful she had let me know about it. To which she said to me that I should be giving HER the prize because she had told me about it in the first place….! I laughed because I actually thought she was joking… but no, she was being completely serious..!

She said that because she is a single mum, it would have been very useful to her because she would’ve just sold it, and made herself a couple of hundred pounds towards Christmas. She then proceeded to tell me that I’m being completely selfish by not giving her the prize. Before I could say anything, she turned around and walked off..

Literally can somebody help me out here .. I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?!

I do have a tendency to overthink things, but I actually don’t think I am BU here??

Idly wondering if I should gift her the item for Christmas, as honestly cannot stand the thought of having any issues with neighbours..

OP posts:
ACynicalDad · 22/12/2023 01:07

Enjoy the prize

Messyhair321 · 22/12/2023 09:32

Has she gifted you things before? Or are you close & share anything like this? I can't by the way imagine a situation where you would but that's the only reason I'd be thinking she was behaving normally.
Could be that she's really just very stressed out about Christmas & envious that you've won? Either way yes unreasonable from where I'm sitting

Universalsnail · 22/12/2023 09:38

You haven't done anything wrong and she sounds like a complete weirdo. Wtf. I would honestly just ignore her and if she mentions it again I would tell her she's being rediculous.

Wordlecurdle · 22/12/2023 09:44

Ask her if she had told anyone else about the raffle. And if she had, and those people she told had entered, ask her if she is planning on giving them the money for the cost of the raffle ticket because they didn’t win.

she is batshit. Neighbour issues are not nice. I fell out with my neighbour over a year ago now. We just leave each other alone. She still has a problem (pulling stupid faces at me if we happen to bump into each other), but I just laugh it off now.

NotTerfNorCis · 22/12/2023 09:48

Well she's not living in the real world. Sounds like a child. I can imagine using that kind of logic if I was six.

MNTourist · 22/12/2023 10:04

She’s deluded - if you hadn’t won would she have given you the money you’d lost?
ask her that if she raises it again.
enjoy your prize

Scottsy200 · 22/12/2023 11:23

She’s clearly mental, avoid her like the plague

LinaLouLa · 22/12/2023 11:25

Oh dear god, what an entitled little princess she is. And making herself look totally spoilt and childish.

Absolutely do not give this woman your prize. You entered the raffle fair and square. If you hadn't entered, someone else would have won - and most likely still wouldn't have been her.

Enjoy your win 😍

OhYeahOhYeah · 22/12/2023 11:33

Oh my god, the entitlement of some people!

She needs to take herself to one side and have a word. Appalling behaviour and quite crass!

Go and enjoy your prize, and don’t give it another thought

OhYeahOhYeah · 22/12/2023 11:35

You winning the prize has achieved precisely what the business wanted. It has attracted a new client!

It’s a generous gesture for any business to gift prizes, but it is rarely completely altruistic, it’s a great way to get their name out into the wider public.

The term ‘win win’ is perfect here x

1989whome · 22/12/2023 11:39

She is the one with the issue. Do not give in, where does it end? You are definitely not being unreasonable. Some people are just that entitled, think the world owes them something. What if someone else won the raffle? Would she harass them to? You are definitely not in the wrong!

BowlOfNoodles · 22/12/2023 11:40

Absolutely unhinged

Sophierx89 · 22/12/2023 11:41

Omg please do not give her it! How old is she 5?!

Justus6 · 22/12/2023 11:42

She's a nut lol!

Who's to say she would've won it even if you hadn't entered. Tell her to get stuffed entitled AH. Congrats BTW and merry Christmas 🎅 🎄 ❤️

Abbyant · 22/12/2023 11:46

The green eyed monster, jealousy has reared its ugly head. You don’t owe your neighbor anything and don’t feel like you do.

FrustatedAgain · 22/12/2023 11:47

She's mad! The reason small businesses do these raffles is so people hear about their businesses and share them, its a form of marketing which has worked a treat as you may use them now.
You don't own a raffle prize because you told someone about a raffle!! She's thick and self centred and you're well shot of her. Her craziness would have come out at some point!

MabelMaybe · 22/12/2023 11:49

I'm stunned that your neighbour thinks she'd have made any reasonable money from selling a raffle prize, even if she had won it. My guess is that she's feeling annoyed and just wanted to say her piece.

NeedToChangeName · 22/12/2023 11:50

Irridescantshimmmer · 20/12/2023 03:39

She's jealous as sin and not backwards in coming forwards about it either.

Any more incidents like this and you should seriously get your local authority involved( council) as it is harassment.

She's a jealous cow, and a sore looser.

Don't give it to her, it's your prize, she'll just have to deal with it.

Oh I love MN for the bonkers suggestions

As if the Council would get involved in two women falling out over hair straighteners and shampoo !

Duckingella · 22/12/2023 11:51

It's a raffle;it's literally picked at random and you got lucky;she is absolutely off her rocker.

NeedToChangeName · 22/12/2023 11:53

5128gap · 21/12/2023 20:24

I think you should gift it to her OP. And also gift her anything you buy from the shop in future as if it wasn't for her you'd never have heard of the shop in the first place. And you should get a mask made of her face and ask the shop to retake the winner photograph with you wearing it. Its the least you can do.

@5128gap Love it !

Esmerelda2024 · 22/12/2023 11:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ThinWomansBrain · 22/12/2023 11:57

Congratulations - on the prize, not the batshit neighbour.

Mumhill1 · 22/12/2023 11:58

So by her logic... if she heard about the raffle from the company, she would have to accept the prize then give it straight back to them?

Sour grapes- just avoid her until she comes to her senses!

Gardengirl108 · 22/12/2023 12:00

You’ve got yourself a genuine lunatic there. YANBU. If I were you, I’d use the prize regularly at your windows (all of them) when you know she’s passing by. And wave.

Crayfishforyou · 22/12/2023 12:01

Your neighbour is 🦇 💩. Do not gift her anything, she will just realise you are a soft touch and take the piss in the future.
If you weren’t entitled to win a raffle the shop wouldn’t have let you buy a ticket.
Plus the shop wins really, as you said you will probably use their business in the future.

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