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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - neighbour fallout

227 replies

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 00:52

I really don’t think I’ve done anything wrong here, but it’s weighing on my mind a lot so here I am…!

Recently, a small business in our village held a charity raffle to win a fairly high-end beauty product (worth approx £300). I didn’t actually know about this raffle until my next door neighbour mentioned it to me - (I personally have never used this business before so did not see that they had been advertising the raffle on their social media as I don’t follow them.)

The prize was something that I would love to have anyway, and so I entered the raffle.

I was very surprised to receive a phone call a couple of days ago to be told that I had won it! I went in to collect it. They asked if I would mind having my photo taken with the prize, and for the photo to be posted on their social media, which I was fine about. I was really pleased, I never win anything and it truly made my day!

They were completely lovely to me when I went into collect it, that I may well start using this business regularly now.

Anyway - this is where it all went a bit wrong ..
the following day, I bumped into my neighbour whilst having just left the house to walk the dog. Before I could say anything to her, she said to me, ‘I see you are the winner of the raffle then’ in quite a cool tone.. I replied, and told her that yes, I was really pleased and very thankful ..

The conversation was very quick as it was raining and I didn’t want to hang around, and to be honest, I didn’t give it much more thought after this.

But… I was absolutely gobsmacked to get a knock on the door this evening, from my neighbour. As it happens, I was going to deliver her Christmas card tonight anyway, and so I had it on the table by our front door so when she opened the door I said hi and said something along the lines of ‘oh while you’re here, let me give you this’.. and proceeded to try to give her the card, but she replied with, “ yeah, you can keep it… You realise that, if it hadn’t been for me, you would never have even known about the raffle, right?”…. I was a bit taken back by this, and I told her that I was grateful she had let me know about it. To which she said to me that I should be giving HER the prize because she had told me about it in the first place….! I laughed because I actually thought she was joking… but no, she was being completely serious..!

She said that because she is a single mum, it would have been very useful to her because she would’ve just sold it, and made herself a couple of hundred pounds towards Christmas. She then proceeded to tell me that I’m being completely selfish by not giving her the prize. Before I could say anything, she turned around and walked off..

Literally can somebody help me out here .. I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?!

I do have a tendency to overthink things, but I actually don’t think I am BU here??

Idly wondering if I should gift her the item for Christmas, as honestly cannot stand the thought of having any issues with neighbours..

OP posts:
Bensondog · 21/12/2023 20:14

Omg what an absolute nutcase !!!! No u won that prize end of ,,,,don’t give her another thought please don’t feel bad and steer clear of her

shewithnoname · 21/12/2023 20:18

if you gift her it.. firstly her bullying has worked and she has won and she has made you hand over the goods... and secondly it will be on facebook market place within a blink of an eye!

who's to say if you hadn't entered she would have won? was she going to go knock on the door of whoever did win it and treat them the same?

think no more about it.

Retiredfromearlyyears · 21/12/2023 20:21

Enjoy your prize. You won it ot her! Entitled madam!

OnionRings82 · 21/12/2023 20:22

She’s not only off in the head, she’s a troublemaker and best avoided. I hope she doesn’t into one of those neighbours from hell.

5128gap · 21/12/2023 20:24

I think you should gift it to her OP. And also gift her anything you buy from the shop in future as if it wasn't for her you'd never have heard of the shop in the first place. And you should get a mask made of her face and ask the shop to retake the winner photograph with you wearing it. Its the least you can do.

azlazee1 · 21/12/2023 20:26

If you had lost , there would have been another winner, not automatically gone to her. She is way off the mark here. You won a contest; the prize is yours to keep. She has absolutely no claim to it.

Gonners · 21/12/2023 20:27

@5128gap - arf!

@mrsclaus1984 - I wonder how many people she "mentioned" it to, in the hope that one of them would win?

laclochette · 21/12/2023 20:30

She is being v v unreasonable. This makes no sense whatsoever. Charitably, she's feeling incredibly hard done by at the moment, and is taking it out on you.

Lighrbulbmo · 21/12/2023 20:31

She’s f batshit!

Bertiesmum3 · 21/12/2023 20:32

OMG!
she sounds just like my nutty neighbour
she used to thinks she’s entitled to anything , I have baked for years and she used to always comment about how lovely my baking smelt, and they they love homemade things, every time I cooked a meal she’d comment about how lucky my husband was because all she cooked for her husband was sausages 🤣
If my husband done any work in my house or garden she’d make a comment, in the end her jealousy drove a massive wedge between us, especially after we spent thousands doing up our gardens!

Hayliebells · 21/12/2023 20:32

She's bonkers and has just done herself out of future plant watering favours, so more fool her!

AliceOlive · 21/12/2023 20:39

5128gap · 21/12/2023 20:24

I think you should gift it to her OP. And also gift her anything you buy from the shop in future as if it wasn't for her you'd never have heard of the shop in the first place. And you should get a mask made of her face and ask the shop to retake the winner photograph with you wearing it. Its the least you can do.

🤣🤣🤣

Snazzysausage · 21/12/2023 20:40

Going forward please make sure you never leave the house without turbo swishing your poker straight hair. She's in the front garden? Swish
She's in the front window? Swish
Putting her bin out? Swish Swish Swish.
Tis the only way!

MandyFriend · 21/12/2023 20:43

Your neighbour sounds absolutely bonkers! Just be thankful she didn't introduce you to your husband or who knows what she'd be expecting...!

Jeannie88 · 21/12/2023 20:46

You won, if it was someone else she didn't know she wouldn't have been able to do this. I know I would be seeing reason and thay she is a complete CF but for peace I would offer her to choose an item, maybe, not sure? X

wronginalltherightways · 21/12/2023 20:47

Your neighbour is an entitled cheeky fucker. Heck many competitions require you to tag other people to enter; it's how they expand their 'reach' and grow their business opportunities.

DarkDarkNight · 21/12/2023 20:48

Haha she is crazy. To be honest I would be a little annoyed, but I wouldn’t actually say anything out loud. It’s not as if you got the exact ticket she would have bought.

It’s like telling someone about a job you’re applying for then being mad when they get the job.

ClemmyTine · 21/12/2023 20:50

She thinks the world owes her a living

autienotnaughty · 21/12/2023 21:00

Sadly there's nothing you can do you live next to a batshit neighbour if it hadn't been this it would have been something else at some point. Ignore her and keep your head down.

aloris · 21/12/2023 21:02

Her logic doesn't work. If you were to give her the prize then what would have been the point of you entering the raffle? It would be a wash, from your perspective.

PuzzledObserver · 21/12/2023 21:10

mrsclaus1984 · 20/12/2023 02:23

Well she’s on her own money wise - I’m not - she’s mentioned previously to me that she’s having to do xmas on a tight budget this year. From what I can tell, this is her first xmas single. She clearly feels more entitled to it than me, presumably for those reasons. I’m sympathetic to a point - but on the flip side she’s been on holiday a few times this year (I know this as I’ve watered her garden for her while she was away!) . I don’t mean to sound horrible. I’m sorry if I do 🙁

So if a friend she introduced you to gives you a present, should you pass it to your neighbour, because she needs it more than you, and you wouldn’t have received it if she hadn’t made the introduction?

Or if she tells you about a job advert she’s seen, and you apply and get the job, should you then be giving her a cut of your salary?

In fact - if you are just having better luck in life than she is, should you be sharing your standard of living with her?

She’s ridiculous.

plantpotsandbugs · 21/12/2023 22:04

So, what if you hadn't won?

Would she have refunded your £1 (or however much it was)?

Because if it wasn't for her, you wouldn't have even known about it.

Cornishclio · 21/12/2023 22:16

She sounds deranged and I would not be watering her garden any more. I get you don't want neighbour issues but she has now shown her true colours so it will be hard to come back from that. You had every right to enter the raffle and someone had to win so why not you. Her being single has nothing to do with it. I would give her a wide berth in future.

Snippit · 22/12/2023 00:51

As my Yorkshire grandad used to say “There’s nowt as queer as folk”.

I’d ignore her, what a petulant entitled little madam 🤷‍♀️

IdaPolly · 22/12/2023 01:03

It's good to get on with neighbours if possible, but if getting on with them requires you to be a doormat it's not worth it.