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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people don't care about covid anymore?

246 replies

MumofLandD · 19/12/2023 10:57

That really. Quick straw poll on that.
DS (13) tested positive this morning after I had a very faint positive this morning. I tested because I had a sore throat all night and 6 days til Christmas I wanted to check. We have Xmas dinner at the ex's families planned and 3 others going are vulnerable.
I also test when feeling unwell as I am a front line health care worker and work with cancer patients and other vulnerable people. Although my hospitals policy is if you test positive and feel well enough to come to work then you are allowed to work, I morally disagree with this.
I co parent with ex partner, he is due to have DS tomorrow for the rest of the week and he thinks DS can go to school tomorrow if he feels better whereas I disagree. DS's best friend is spending Xmas with his 90 year old grandmother and I would hate for him to pass it on to her. Plus who else will he come in contact with at school who have plans like that? Ex partner is of the opinion that vunerable people are fine if they are vaccinated but I don't believe so. Not sure if I am still traumatised by the sights I saw in the first wave.
Interestingly when I asked XP if he was happy for our son to sit next to his mother at the table, if he was still positive, who is vulnerable but vaccinated he said no. 🙄

OP posts:
Sartre · 19/12/2023 11:04

I haven’t really thought about it for at least 18 months. It’s just merged in with all other winter viruses now so if I get cold symptoms, it could be covid or a cold but I don’t really care. Wouldn’t waste my money or destroy the environment with a test.

Original poster
MumofLandD · 19/12/2023 11:10

Thanks, this is what I'm thinking most people think now. (No judgement). I guess I have a bit of a skewed view of it from work x

OP posts:
Youcannotbeseriousreally · 19/12/2023 11:12

You need to test for your job which is fair enough. I don’t really understand why people expect others to test though, especially now the costs of tests are so high. I wouldn’t test my kids ever ( unless restrictions came back) and I would only test if I was going into an environment that required it.

CornishGem1975 · 19/12/2023 11:16

Current NHS advice is if you have no temperature and you feel well enough you can carry on.

I have covid right now and I've pretty much carried on as normal other than cancelling a meal with friends which would be in very close contact and a beauty treatment as I didn't want to give anyone an illness before Christmas but other than that it's business as usual as I still have to work and kids still have to go to school.

Hbh17 · 19/12/2023 11:16

Haven't thought about it much for 3 years (altho I did have all my vaccinations).
For goodness sake, just stop testing and get on with your life as normal - Covid is not a big deal.

ExpressCheckout · 19/12/2023 11:16

YANBU

I am in 'extremely clinical vulnerable' category and I work in a busy environment with plenty of mostly unvaccinated or not recently boosted 18-30s. No acknowledgement from this large employer.

I've been run down with viral infections etc. since September. No days off sick, but that's because there is no cover for my role - my work doesn't 'go away' during short term sickness, IYSWIM.

Complete ignorance from managers:

Manager: "Well, we are all building our immune systems this time of year!" (tinkly voice)
Me: "I don't have an immune system to build."

So I understand most people are fed up with covid etc. and that 'all the viruses are merged into one', but please don't forget that just because the pandemic is 'over' it doesn't mean the risk has gone away for some of us - however convenient it is for employers to believe otherwise.

Fulshaw · 19/12/2023 11:17

I think you probably do have a skewed view of it which is understandable and it’s good you can recognise that.

I think things like the current NHS guidance and hospital policy are impartial and up to date and therefore you should follow those, as acknowledge your own judgement is off.

As for elderly people and other vulnerable people, they have to make their own choices. They could not come to Xmas dinner, or wear a mask, or ask everyone to test first. I don’t think you need to make those decisions for them, presuming they’re of sound mind.

azafata2 · 19/12/2023 11:17

I am on day 12 of COVID and it has been truly horrible. I work in an educational setting and would not be going in in case of passing it on to someone more vulnerable. If you know , as I did do a test, I think it is morally wrong.

Honeyroar · 19/12/2023 11:18

I find it a sad reflection of today’s times that it seems to be the general concensus that “ if the elderly or those with compromised immune systems die, that’s just life really…”. People don’t care about anyone but themselves nowadays.

My father caught covid in hospital, he had been recovering from what he went in with, but the covid killed him. Two months later my mother nearly died in hospital when she caught covid whilst on a trolley in A&E for 48 hours. She just managed to survive. So I might have a skewed opinion too.

Maverickess · 19/12/2023 11:20

My sister was front line in the first wave and feels the same way you do, I can totally understand why having heard what was witnessed and knowing what was endured. Indeed I worked in social care for part of it and that has left a lasting impact on me, and it wasn't even in the beginning.

But with guidance as it is now, vaccination and treatment, I don't think we can just forever stop when we get COVID, or a cold, or flu. The system simply isn't designed to sustain large numbers of people at home either not getting paid and getting into debt, or getting paid and then that compounding the situation that we're in financially from COVID in the first place.

When humans mix in groups then illness will spread, apart from the social 'cost' of isolation, society just isn't set up for it, we gather in groups for everything from healthcare to entertainment.

TheBirdintheCave · 19/12/2023 11:21

In my family we all still test if we have Covid symptoms, especially in the run up to Christmas. I'd hate for it to be my fault that one of my parents got really sick!

exitviathegiftshop · 19/12/2023 11:22

There's loads of research coming out showing every COVID infection does long term damage. Thank you for not wanting to spread it.
If you are unwell with a sore throat call in sick for both of you and stay home with duvets and tv. No one wants COVID for Christmas, it's a really shitty gift.

Original poster
MumofLandD · 19/12/2023 11:22

This is what bothers me in part- I don't have to test for my job, but morally I do

OP posts:
Original poster
MumofLandD · 19/12/2023 11:24

Hbh17 · 19/12/2023 11:16

Haven't thought about it much for 3 years (altho I did have all my vaccinations).
For goodness sake, just stop testing and get on with your life as normal - Covid is not a big deal.

But it is a big deal. Or was. And I feel morally obliged to test and keep my patients risk of catching covid low. Plus vulnerable family members or members of the public. But I agree we aren't going to irradiate it

OP posts:
azafata2 · 19/12/2023 11:24

Agree. I actually have been really unwell. The doctor actually has signed me off with Acute Covid.

Fulshaw · 19/12/2023 11:25

MumofLandD · 19/12/2023 11:22

This is what bothers me in part- I don't have to test for my job, but morally I do

Well, morally you do according to your morals. Other people have different morals and would make different decisions.

19lottie82 · 19/12/2023 11:26

CornishGem1975 · 19/12/2023 11:16

Current NHS advice is if you have no temperature and you feel well enough you can carry on.

I have covid right now and I've pretty much carried on as normal other than cancelling a meal with friends which would be in very close contact and a beauty treatment as I didn't want to give anyone an illness before Christmas but other than that it's business as usual as I still have to work and kids still have to go to school.

No it isn’t. Govt advice is still to isolate.

exitviathegiftshop · 19/12/2023 11:26

Op you are right.
Look at all the threads on here with people complaining about the mystery illnesses they keep getting, colds that won't go away. They believed the gaslighting and can't see that their immune systems are damaged from COVID.
Try not to catch it and try not to spread it!

NotToYou · 19/12/2023 11:26

Haven't really thought about it, I wouldn't test but with any illness I would stay at home or keep the unwell child at home til recovered to avoid spreading germs.

NuffSaidSam · 19/12/2023 11:28

I'd treat it like any other cold/flu virus i.e. take more precautions than normal (keep my distance from anyone vulnerable, make sure I was washing my hands more often, being hygienic, not kiss/cuddle people etc), but not full isolation/not going to work/cancelling Christmas.

I haven't tested since the tests stopped being free so I don't know if a cold is COVID or just a cold.

exitviathegiftshop · 19/12/2023 11:30

But it's spread by aerosols in the air so sitting at work all day is more likely to infect people than not washing your hands or going closer than 2m.

Waitingfordoggo · 19/12/2023 11:31

I think your assessment is correct that most don’t give it much thought any more. I haven’t done a test for well over a year; probably two. If I felt unwell (which is rare for me) I would stay at home, otherwise I’d carry on as normal. I don’t have parents and don’t see any of my elderly relatives. My ILs are nearly 80 and one of them has some health conditions but they are not concerned about Covid at all. If I told them I wasn’t going to theirs on Boxing Day because I felt unwell, they would likely persuade me to go! (I don’t feel unwell so hopefully this won’t happen).

RafaistheKingofClay · 19/12/2023 11:33

MumofLandD · 19/12/2023 10:57

That really. Quick straw poll on that.
DS (13) tested positive this morning after I had a very faint positive this morning. I tested because I had a sore throat all night and 6 days til Christmas I wanted to check. We have Xmas dinner at the ex's families planned and 3 others going are vulnerable.
I also test when feeling unwell as I am a front line health care worker and work with cancer patients and other vulnerable people. Although my hospitals policy is if you test positive and feel well enough to come to work then you are allowed to work, I morally disagree with this.
I co parent with ex partner, he is due to have DS tomorrow for the rest of the week and he thinks DS can go to school tomorrow if he feels better whereas I disagree. DS's best friend is spending Xmas with his 90 year old grandmother and I would hate for him to pass it on to her. Plus who else will he come in contact with at school who have plans like that? Ex partner is of the opinion that vunerable people are fine if they are vaccinated but I don't believe so. Not sure if I am still traumatised by the sights I saw in the first wave.
Interestingly when I asked XP if he was happy for our son to sit next to his mother at the table, if he was still positive, who is vulnerable but vaccinated he said no. 🙄

I don’t think you are wrong in that most people don’t care.

But you are also not wrong to take it seriously. I do think there’s a marked difference in attitudes between those people that know about Covid and those that have followed the ‘it’s just like flu/ normal winter viruses/need to build immunity line.

And none if this is helped by an entirely inadequate vaccination programme in the U.K.

Whoopsmahoot · 19/12/2023 11:34

I have 2 friends with long covid. One had to learn to walk again and the other has still chronic health problems 2 years later- it has destroyed her life. Yes I do test if unwell but I have very vulnerable parents. I appreciate not everyone is cautious but morally I feel obliged to be sensible.

KindleGirlie · 19/12/2023 11:35

I mean…restrictions have lifted and life has to go on. Generally I wouldn’t spread any illness though, so when I get a cold or worse I pretty much self isolate anyway

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