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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think they are all cheeky bastards

363 replies

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 12:05

I booked to go to a theatre show for the team I manage for our Christmas night out. We all agreed on the show and I'm sure they would have all been aware of the cost when they looked and agreed on the show.

I was expecting them to sort the money out that night and transfer the £20.

not one person has mentioned the money.

If your boss had booked a show for a Christmas night out would you assume it was a present or would you have been like “thanks for booking, here’s the cash”

OP posts:
Coronado2 · 18/12/2023 15:21

A lot of people here have clearly never worked somewhere like the NHS. It would never occur to me that my christmas party would be funded either by my employer or my boss! And they earn a lot more then £23k. Equally, we would never leave the bosses out because 1) we like most of them and 2) you don't just leave people out of your christmas party.

housethatbuiltme · 18/12/2023 15:23

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 14:22

I get that I haven’t been clear but they are still cheeky to not say thank you.

I don't think I was ever thanked for doing my job and hosting Xmas events was part of my job. I had to take time to organize everything, I didn't pay for them the company did but I don't think the others knew that either. Most people don't get thanked for doing what is deemed 'normal'.

You didn't communicate, people likely though it was a company night out not that you bought a £20 ticket and expected them to pay... Whats do you think there is for them to thank you specifically for?

hotpotlover · 18/12/2023 15:26

I would assume it's a company event and that the company was footing the bill.

IncompleteSenten · 18/12/2023 15:26

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 13:33

where on earth do you get paid to go on works do. I’ve always paid and never got anything free

Many companies do.

My brother in law gets a cash Christmas bonus and his employer pays for them all to have a fancy meal out. He lays taxis on for the staff there and back.

Treesinmygarden · 18/12/2023 15:28

QS90 · 18/12/2023 14:57

I would definitely have assumed a treat - have never had to put my hand in my pocket on a works night out! Across various office jobs (private sector) and when I was a waitress.

You've clearly never worked in the public sector then...!

Goldenbear · 18/12/2023 15:29

Coronado2 · 18/12/2023 15:21

A lot of people here have clearly never worked somewhere like the NHS. It would never occur to me that my christmas party would be funded either by my employer or my boss! And they earn a lot more then £23k. Equally, we would never leave the bosses out because 1) we like most of them and 2) you don't just leave people out of your christmas party.

TBF I have only just read that and I didn't realise the income of the average boss in the NHS was quite so low or that people don't have the boss/employee dynamic in the NHS!

Treesinmygarden · 18/12/2023 15:30

AppleChristsBirthdayMacchiato · 18/12/2023 15:04

No it's just whatever is the norm for your workplace.

Abiding by corporate norms doesn't make you "an entitled scrounger."

If you work for a big corporation or somewhere where it's the norm for Christmas events to be paid for by the company (which is very very normal - I've never heard of employees having to pay for their own Christmas party before) then of course you're not going to psychically know to dig your wallet out.

My old company organised everything and paid for taxis home for everyone as standard, I wouldn't even know who to pay even if I wanted to.

It is NOT the norm in the public sector!!

Jk8 · 18/12/2023 15:31

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 13:33

where on earth do you get paid to go on works do. I’ve always paid and never got anything free

???? Not sure if your replying to the wrong post but the thread is about nobody sending over £20 for theatre tickets OP booked 'on behalf' of a lower down team of people with no budget or authorisation from higher up to do so. ?

& lots of people effectively "get paid to go on a work do" if its held during working hours like a lunch/morning tea/sports ect. event - ?????

NaughtybutNice77 · 18/12/2023 15:31

Tbh I might think it was a 'work do' and that work had paid for it if you hadn't specifically asked for payment.
I'd send out an email or group WhatsApp politely thanking everyone for a lovely evening and a request that they get £X to you by Y.
As you didn't make it clear (ie your mistake) I'd not expect the money straight away. There's probably people who would not have come if they knew they had to pay.

Jk8 · 18/12/2023 15:33

Jk8 · 18/12/2023 15:31

???? Not sure if your replying to the wrong post but the thread is about nobody sending over £20 for theatre tickets OP booked 'on behalf' of a lower down team of people with no budget or authorisation from higher up to do so. ?

& lots of people effectively "get paid to go on a work do" if its held during working hours like a lunch/morning tea/sports ect. event - ?????

*specifically remembering a small group thing around horse racing a few years ago (in regards to the sports thing) but ive seen some offices do alot better/bigger on corporate salary

ginoohginoginelli · 18/12/2023 15:34

It sounds like a harsh lesson for you there, OP! I work for the NHS and would not expect anything paid for unless it was specifically explained as that when it was being organised. I'm curious as to what was in your email communication about it. Surely you must have mentioned cost at some point as the theatre could be anything from a tenner to a hundred quid so you wouldn't have known without checking what people were willing to pay?

NaughtybutNice77 · 18/12/2023 15:35

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 12:40

It’s not a reverse. I honestly have always done things this way and have always been offered the cash. I’ve never had a boss that has paid for anything.

if they thought it was a freebie they could at least say thanks

I worked 10 years for NHS and only left recently. I've had gifts from my boss every Christmas as well as 'thank you' meals out/away days paid for by the service.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 18/12/2023 15:35

So the event was last night.

and no one said thank you.

But you cannot ask for money now !

that now sounds like you are pissed off that no one said ' Thank you ' so you are making them pay !

As you have said ' lesson learnt '

and you can organise it better next year, or wait til a colleague asks what is happening next year and get the colleague to arrange it.

C152 · 18/12/2023 15:46

I've read your updates and see you said you weren't clear enough and it's lesson learnt. It's rubbish that no one said thank you; but they weren't unreasonable to assume you/their employer was paying, unless it was clearly specified otherwise.

Luxell934 · 18/12/2023 15:47

What exactly did you say to them?

If you weren’t explicitly clear that this would be a cost to them event then that’s on you.

For not one person to even ask about or offer to pay then I’d say it was your communication that wasn’t clear.

Next time be very clear. Give them ALL the details. This event, on this day, it will cost this much per person, who’s in? Then ask for payment before the event.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 18/12/2023 15:50

It's not too late to make it clear you bought the tickets with the expectation people would reimburse you. If they don't contact the box office and return those not paid for.

Luxell934 · 18/12/2023 15:50

ginoohginoginelli · 18/12/2023 15:34

It sounds like a harsh lesson for you there, OP! I work for the NHS and would not expect anything paid for unless it was specifically explained as that when it was being organised. I'm curious as to what was in your email communication about it. Surely you must have mentioned cost at some point as the theatre could be anything from a tenner to a hundred quid so you wouldn't have known without checking what people were willing to pay?

Agreed. Was cost not discussed at all? Because surely if people expected to pay themselves they would want to know the exact price of the tickets before they committed? And while discussing this it would have been a great time to confirm your bank details with them if they wanted to attend.

Katherineryan1986 · 18/12/2023 15:52

Helluvawomen · 18/12/2023 13:33

where on earth do you get paid to go on works do. I’ve always paid and never got anything free

In the private sector!

My husband’s company pay for each employee (30 of them) plus their partner/friend to attend a big party venue including dinner and several bottles of wine on the table. Also paid for taxis and hotels rooms. It’s not unusual in the private sector.

However I worked in the NHS and never got a thing free (and did not expect to!)

Porageeater · 18/12/2023 15:52

Public sector and I would never assume something was paid and if I did would say thank you. So yes they are cfers.

I also however would have been saying ‘here’s my bank account number’.

muddymudwater · 18/12/2023 15:53

It needs to be clear before booking how much it is each. Then people can decide whether or not they want to go. Then, if enough people want to go, you book. And then tell people how to pay.

You need to tell them clearly how much they owe and how to pay you.

Porageeater · 18/12/2023 15:54

I wouldn’t book anything for a work do without getting all the money first

Welshmonster · 18/12/2023 16:14

Payment should have been mentioned and money secured prior to booking tickets. You may find people now don’t want to pay £20 and go to the pub with their colleagues instead
can you put it through as a tax expense as limited companies can make some claim for Christmas parties

Devon23 · 18/12/2023 16:14

Would have assumed it was on expenses if not made very clear it wasn't.

thatsnotmywean · 18/12/2023 16:14

LOL my managers have always gotten us a gift to say thanks for your hard work this year etc or the company has funded a night out.
Bit of a kick in the teeth to expect them to pay for their own reward/gift.
If they do need to pay, you make it clear that it is £x per person and you'd like the money in advance by y date so you know numbers etc.

FirstTimeTTC989 · 18/12/2023 16:16

Hahahahaaaa what is it with managers who think we all REEEEALLLYY want to spend any free time we have in the run up to Christmas with them? Like seriously, all these poor people are only going along because they feel they have no choice. Most of them would much much rather be at home and no way should they pay.

You should have made it clear from the start as I would assume my manager is paying, yes.