To think a mum would get flamed for this?

[redcar28]

Disappearing on a bender for 18 hours, not getting up for the school run then staying in bed all day hungover.

Why is it different for dads than it is for mums? I honestly wouldn't dream of behaving that way. I know the people around me would judge me massively and I'd be called a shit mum. Plus I'd feel immensely guilty for not pulling my weight for my kids.

I'm sick of society letting dads get away with unacceptable behaviour and leaving the mothers to pick up the pieces.

I've come to the realisation that I am basically living the same life as my mum did all those years ago.

If you stay in this relationship, your children will live the same life as well, and think tha this is just the way all men are.

I wouldn't think to well of any parent/guardian who did this, especially if it was routinely.

@Curlygirli thank God you got out.
@ChateauDuMont completely agree.

I think as a pattern it's a problem. My DS is four and only once have I been too hungover to function the following day, it was a genuine mistake on the effects of alcohol on me after a break from drinking and not an intentional bender. I felt so awful about it that I don't drink more than a pint if I'm at home. The problem is if it's expected as a norm.

Some couples have agreements where both get a few weekends a year to go a bit wild and sleep it off. I wouldn't put up with it one sided.

If I was acting the way he was, my family would tell me to grow up and start acting right for my kids!

Very hypocritical of them when your mother taught you to choose the same.

I dont know anyone in my circle that would do this, men or women. I cant speak for any other family buy since my DH became a father he never got smashed once, each outing was discussed with me on what time he would be home by and never once late, never once let our daughter down due to him being out. Your DH needs some serious discpline on this.

i had one like that.. 'had' I left because i got sick of his shit.

Much happier now i'm on my own. I don't have to deal with tip-toeing around the house while he sleeps his hangover off til 2pm.

As for finding the strength, eventually your rage and will to protect your peace and your kids peace propels you out the door. You have to get angry. There is better out there. Harder? yes, in its own way, but definitely, infinitely happier.

My husband works all hours and has done for years. If he has a rare meet up with his school/best mates which means he barely catches the last train home, I know there is a likelihood he’ll be not fit for much the next day. But I also know he would have similar expectations/make allowances for me if I had a big girl’s night out. Give and take, not gender based, and quite reasonable at this time of year. Now, if the person mentioned in the OP’s post did this several times a week and for months on end, constantly leaving their wife/partner to manage the kids and school run etc unsupported, there’d be something to moan about.

Yes, but anyone with an iota of common sense dismisses posts telling women it’s okay for their husband to go on a 4-day stag trip abroad and leave her with a newborn as bollocks pedalled by the increasing number of incels and bitter divorced men that infest MN.

No one in the real world thinks this is acceptable behaviour.

I think that in general society holds WOMEN to a higher standard than men. Whether it is their parenting skills, hygiene, appearance, house cleanliness, behaviour in public or any other issue.
Many, many people treat boys differently to girls. One example is letting boys run around shouting and screaming whilst clamping down on this behaviour from girls.
However, I certainly would judge a father who behaved in the way her oh does. You have my sympathy op.