To think it was weird to show up with prawns?

[prawngate]

Last night had a gathering at DM’s - DB and I plus spouses and our children.

Anyway while we were cooking DM’s phone kept ringing- her DB is calling. After a while I said we need to answer because I was worried something was wrong. In any case he then started ringing me I picked up and he checks we’re at DMs and announces he and new GF are joining us.
He goes on to say they’re bringing prawns and wants to know if we have garlic and lemon.

DM says she did mention we were getting together to him a couple of months ago but he was non committal and didn’t bring it up again.

They show up a few hours later and the new GF has a massive bag of raw prawns - with heads and eyes. She starts skinning them and stuff pulling bits out and giving my mum - who has already cooked a huge buffet for us complete with beef rib and gammon - instructions on what she needs and complaining there isn’t enough lemon.

Apparently the prawns were quite nice (I didn’t want to try them with the heads) but she sat and started cutting huge chunks of prime beef rib off and ate a TON which annoyed DB and I because we were each taking some leftovers home 🤣

Anyway AIBU to say it’s weird to show up to someone else’s Xmas do with a bag of raw prawns and then expect them to supply you with the things to cook it? (And to sit and eat other people’s leftovers)

It sounds like you dislike this woman and you're annoyed you didn't get what you believed to be your "share" of the beef which was meant for everyone.

She had invited her brother though, he just hadn’t confirmed. In my family this would have been fine- the more the merrier.

Also would love it if someone brought proper prawns. They are a fantastic addition to any buffet.

I have an aunt who does or doesn’t turn up to events at random, and when she does she turns up with a whole cooked salmon or 15 individual soufflé or a giant pan of soup or something. She is my favourite aunt.

The only situation I can imagine myself turning up to an event clutching a large bag of raw prawns would be if I were in Australia and had been invited to a barbecue.

Well I apologise. Sometimes I get on a bandwagon and only listen to my own head. I've been skint many times in the past too and I'm also a carer. I see why others would want a bit of notice even if I didn't. I should know better to be so rude. I'm agoraphobic and it has been putting me in a dark place of late as I know I have to leave my house for an appointment next week.

*prawngate · Today 12:07

It was my mums DB who brought her. So they were in addition to me & my DB*

So your uncle

*prawngate · Today 12:21

MummyDummyNow · Today 12:20

She didn't really belong? Why?*

Because it wasn't a free for all. It was my mum her kids (plus spouses) and grandkids

There were no other friends or family invited.*

You said your mum did invite him he just never said he was or wasn’t coming

🤣

It was his girlfriend, clearly not a vegetarian, who brought the prawns.

The only weird thing here is that family are so unwelcoming and uptight that they’re moaning about someone eating beef at a family gathering and see someone bringing a contribution to the food as odd rather than lovely and thoughtful.

It's unexpected but nice. You can't beat fresh prawns!
It's good to be flexible not set in your ways.

That does sound weird as well as inconsiderate and a bit entitled!

Also (completely off the point...) as a veggie I'm always fascinated at the way people happily eat prawns and shrimps but wouldn't like to eat grasshoppers and crickets. I don't see the difference in terms of antennae, legs and crunchy bits. Conditioning, I guess!

Do you feel she stole your thunder with the prawns?

Oh gosh I had this . Meant with the best intentions but had a dinner guest show up with a big bag of freshly fished fish. Cue a complex lesson on how to prepare said fish (i’d already cooked a full meal), followed by demands for seasonings and much disappointment at my lack of fish knives 🤣.I was living abroad (here I’d just say ‘great ,I’ll stick it in the freezer for another time as I’ve already cooked’), but I was young and eager to fit in with the culture 🙈

I'm always fascinated at the way people happily eat prawns and shrimps but wouldn't like to eat grasshoppers and crickets.

That's because they're absolutely delicious. I'm not sure that's true of crickets

Do you feel she stole your thunder with the prawns?

She seems more upset she 'stole' the beef

Ahh I thought the vegetarian thing was brought up to explain the prawns!

Did she do anything wrong?

Did she also sit in your chair?

Maybe she's Swedish and used to crayfish parties.

I wouldn't be bothered by her eating the beef - she's a guest, and that's what food's for, to be eaten.

I came here to say exactly this.... The definition of leftovers is whatever's not eaten during the main meal period, surely?

I mean I'd never turn up with raw prawns to cook (certainly not without anything g else I wanted to prep with them) but they did mention it in advance so it's weird rather than rude, to me.

So many posts here referring to the house 'reeking' or 'stinking' of fish.

What on earth do people cook in their houses, beige food I presume

Today the whole house is wafting of a sort of curry sausage casserole (OH likes to have about 3 meals in one).

I think you’re getting an unfair ride here OP, I agree with you it’s really rude to turn up to something you were invited to a good while previous with no RSVP. It’s tactless and entitled to bring raw food and to expect to have it cooked when people have already pre-made food and presumably done all the clean up. She sounds like she has little self-awareness. I don’t like any seafood at all anyway and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be weirded out by food that’s not been prepared if you’re not used to seeing it. I’d feel the same about seeing any carnivorous food item before being prepared and I’m not a veggie or anything. I doubt in reality many people would be jumping for joy to be enjoying a buffet and having a deceased, intact chicken being plonked on the table. Some people might, and bully for them but I don’t personally know many who would. In the UK at least, a lot of things are either processed or made/ marketed for ease of convenience. I don’t think people after a certain generation are exposed to it often. I’m in my 30s and remember as a child feeling uneasy about seeing unprepared fish in the supermarket with fins and eyeballs. I still feel the same now although I’m aware people won’t share the same feelings as me and that’s fine. I wouldn’t go out of my way to criticise or shame people just for having a differing opinion to mine. As an aside, I feel some people on here are deliberately difficult and combative just because you don’t share their opinion which is just so obtuse and unnecessary. It’s always the same sorts of people who desperately fall over themselves to smugly trot out the same “You sound difficult/hard work/ you don’t really LIKE x person do you” etc. For me it gives me the same cringe-factor as when people use the term “Karen”. I don’t think YABU. It’s not uncommon where I’m from for people to take left overs home that comes from a close family friend or relative either.

Is she Chinese? This is definitely something my in-laws would do and I'm here for it! My culinary horizons broadened dramatically when I met DH 😁

@Neelsplace "Entirely different. Prawns are perfectly usual buffet food and take about 10 minutes max from coming in the door to the table.

Bringing raw prawns that requires time consuming preparation is weird. Being so late that the meal is nearly over is rude. Eating so much of a joint of beef is weird.