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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Storylines in mainstream films which are morally wild

130 replies

HairdryerMary · 17/12/2023 10:43

Big Daddy
Overboard
While you were sleeping

OP posts:
110APiccadilly · 20/12/2023 06:35

CliffsofMohair · 17/12/2023 11:12

Niche but … The Parent Trap . I know the Lindsay Lohan version was the remake of an old Disney film but parents of baby twins split, take one baby each , different continents, ….and never see either child ever again until they randomly bump into each other ….. AND THAT’S FINE???!

Edited

I'm pretty sure it was based on a German book, and I think one from the 30s. Back then it's conceivable that if one parent and child had lived in the US and one in the UK, they would never have seen each other, simply due to cost.

The idea that no one never mentioned the existence of the other twin is still pretty weird, to be fair. Though things like that used to be approached very differently - it was often seen as better for children not to know certain things about their backgrounds - so maybe even that's plausible?

Tulipsroses · 20/12/2023 06:57

I think that moral dilemma and ambiguity of the characters make the film more interesting. There is absolutely nothing worse then having flat characters with banal good and bad stereotypes. Unfortunately that where the Hollywood is heading.

Barmecide · 20/12/2023 07:18

Tulipsroses · 20/12/2023 06:57

I think that moral dilemma and ambiguity of the characters make the film more interesting. There is absolutely nothing worse then having flat characters with banal good and bad stereotypes. Unfortunately that where the Hollywood is heading.

You’re missing the point, though. It’s not about films involving moral dilemmas, it’s about films where incredibly dubious behaviour is glossed over as comic or romantic by the plot.

Like ‘Disney Dad disguises himself as comic elderly nanny to re-insert himself into his children’s household post-divorce and this is the adorable of a loving father and thaws his ex’s heart’ or ‘It’s really romantic when a punter picks up a prostitute, decides to keep her for a week for convenience because he’s too busy for a girlfriend, then decides to keep her forever’.

Mothership4two · 20/12/2023 07:41

9 1/2 Weeks has quite a dark theme of extreme domination by a man over a woman who gradually feels she is losing her sense of self. Despite the dark nature, it has lots of titillating sex scenes and the main character is played by the beautiful and sexy Kim Basinger. It was definitely marketed at the time, and generally accepted, as a steamy film rather than a disturbing psychological one. I came out of the cinema with very mixed feelings about it.

Tulipsroses · 20/12/2023 07:42

@Barmecide
Yes absolutely that what makes these films incredible because of interesting story line with outstanding cast.
Mrs Doubtfire is my kids favourite film. Robin Williams is absolutely incredible, you can just watch him all day.
Pretty Women is every girls dream a Cinderella of a modern age with two most beautiful people and outstanding setting.

LolaSmiles · 20/12/2023 07:52

You’re missing the point, though. It’s not about films involving moral dilemmas, it’s about films where incredibly dubious behaviour is glossed over as comic or romantic by the plot
Agreed.
You can have complex characters and deep storylines without resorting to romanticising questionable behaviour in relationships.

I found it hard to see what was so romantic about Edward and Bella. He only stalks you because he loves you, wtf. Boy seeks girl with low self esteem, polices her behaviour and tries to isolate her, all because he loves her.

HairdryerMary · 20/12/2023 07:53

@LolaSmiles yeah twilight was... not a love story!

OP posts:
Tulipsroses · 20/12/2023 08:09

You can have complex characters and deep storylines without resorting to romanticising questionable behaviour in relationships.

I would agree there is a need to have a moral orientation in films but only if you live in countries like North Korea. Where people are treated like children and need to have some sort of guidance.

JoyousAsOtters · 20/12/2023 08:26

Groundhog Day: obnoxious sex pest repeatedly and obsessively uses time travel to trick women into sleeping with him (among other things). Female co-star is reduced to simpleton who goes from finding him abhorrent one day to falling in love with him 24 hours later just because he’s finally learnt some manners and humility.

LolaSmiles · 20/12/2023 08:49

I would agree there is a need to have a moral orientation in films but only if you live in countries like North Korea. Where people are treated like children and need to have some sort of guidance

You think that objecting to films aimed at children promoting unhealthy and abusive relationships as romantic is a North Korea move?

Given there are huge problems around consent and healthy relationships I'd say we owe it to our children to not promote abusive behaviour as a sign of love and romance.

Nobody is saying films have to be upright and moral all the time. It's perfectly reasonable to question whether some films haven't aged well given as a society we've tried to be a bit better at the whole consent thing.

Worldgonecrazy · 20/12/2023 08:59

Gigi. Mother trains daughter to be a ‘high class escort’. The scene where she teaches her daughter to light a cigar made me WTF!

Tulipsroses · 20/12/2023 09:05

@LolaSmiles
The only way you can teach children healthy relationship is by giving them your self and a role model. If you and your husband live in harmonious loving household kids will see this.

I agree to restrict children from harmful TV where some fetish sexuality is becoming some sort of norm. And I've seen this tendency creeping in Hollywood films as well. So would agree in restricting them from kids.

However morality is something different.

sashh · 20/12/2023 10:14

PuttingDownRoots · 19/12/2023 08:43

There's several films where the plot id basically
Important person gets into trouble with the police
Needs to do Community Service
So they put them in a school or with other vulnerable children

No.

You cannot spoil the Mighty Ducks for me, I won't let you.

@annestrawhat yep, Julia Roberts character was to be a junky and in the end he kicks her out of his car.

But the company that was going to make it went bust (I think) and Disney took over.

LolaSmiles · 20/12/2023 10:31

The only way you can teach children healthy relationship is by giving them your self and a role model. If you and your husband live in harmonious loving household kids will see this.
This is where we disagree.
I think children are shaped by what they see at home, see from friends and peers, see from the families they know, from what they see on the TV, what they see in films, what society pushes as romantic and acceptable.

Which means if the messages across a lot of mainstream TV, film and media are romanticising unhealthy and abusive relationships by saying that disrespectful and controlling behaviour is actually a sign of love that's a problem.

It creeps into many other areas. For example, it used to be considered banter for boys to ping bra straps, or boys bullying and being unpleasant to girls was dismissed because he probably fancies you. Most people have moved past considering those as being acceptable behaviour from boys. Many films historically have pushed the idea no doesn't really mean no, if you push her enough she'll give in, she says no but she's just playing hard to get and I don't think it's a coincidence that attitudes at the time around consent were highly problematic. It's a vicious cycle where films reflect what society considers acceptable, whilst also setting the standards that people think are acceptable.

If teens are watching films where the adults are saying "aww Edward really loves Bella" and the film presents his behaviour in a positive way, and it's all romanticised then that's a lot of messaging to girls that this sort of behaviour is acceptable in a relationship and it also tells boys that they can expect to dictate who their girlfriends talk to.

Housewife2010 · 20/12/2023 10:34

LittleBearPad · 17/12/2023 11:17

Yep me too.

Also Grease. Change yourself completely, take up smoking! for a boy!

But Danny changes himself too. Didn't you notice he'd changed his leather jacket for a preppie cardigan?

zendeveloper · 20/12/2023 10:48

angellia · 17/12/2023 12:18

Yes!
I'm a parent of identical twins and we've enjoyed and watched these films numerous times over the years. However, the twins don't seem remotely cross about it, as you'd expect them to be. Lied to for their entire lives the existence of their sibling kept from them. Also doesn't treat them as individuals as the parents take one each and off they go. Would that have happened with different age siblings...

This was seriously proposed to the court by my children's (one year age gap) dad when we split. Either 100% custody goes to him and no contact rights to me, or he can concede that we take one each as it is "fair" and never see each other again in our lives. I mean, it was in writing in his statement, and he even was represented. So not too bizarre, there are people who think like that.

Barmecide · 20/12/2023 11:12

Christ Almighty, @zendeveloper.

angellia · 20/12/2023 11:59

That's really bizarre @zendeveloper and obviously not going to be entertained by the court.

The 'identical twins so we'll have one each' in the film is dreadful thinking.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 20/12/2023 18:28

Ha, just checking FB and saw a Holderness Family video covering this exact topic ..... Big and Grease were mentioned before I carried on scrolling..... must be something in the air ...... 😁

CherriesInChocolate · 21/12/2023 15:03

zendeveloper · 20/12/2023 10:48

This was seriously proposed to the court by my children's (one year age gap) dad when we split. Either 100% custody goes to him and no contact rights to me, or he can concede that we take one each as it is "fair" and never see each other again in our lives. I mean, it was in writing in his statement, and he even was represented. So not too bizarre, there are people who think like that.

I have to ask how the court viewed that? Like I hope it was seen as batshit and an excellent reason to give him no/extremely limited contact but you never know

zendeveloper · 22/12/2023 09:30

CherriesInChocolate · 21/12/2023 15:03

I have to ask how the court viewed that? Like I hope it was seen as batshit and an excellent reason to give him no/extremely limited contact but you never know

Yes, viewed as completely batshit and told off by the judge, but still awarded 50/50 (that the ex considered massively insulting, you know - the system is sooo stacked against fathers, so he decided to move far away and see them a few times a year only - but, weirdly, still actively participates in fathers rights movements). A bigger question for me is how his solicitor / barrister let that through.

purplecheesecat · 01/01/2024 20:56

Pretty in Pink is a shocking film to rewatch

As is Autumn in New York

There are many more films with questionable moments, but these two stick out to me as having their entire premise based on seriously inappropriate behaviour

purplecheesecat · 01/01/2024 21:00

^^ on reflection, Sixteen Candles might even shoot to the top of the list

LifeofBrienne · 01/01/2024 21:34

HairdryerMary · 17/12/2023 11:12

@sprigatito
Exactly
Oh my god I met this guy over the summer and we had an incredible love affair. He was a bit older and my dad didn't like him. He was being paid to grind against rich old ladies but he grinded with me for free! Then he called me up because he knew I was rich and his female friend needed money for an abortion so I got that from daddy but he had to find out anyway as it turned out to be dodgy.
So instead of me using this experience to highlight the need for safe and legal birth control and abortions, we just did a big dance at the end to really stick it to the man.

It’s absolutely deliberate that Dirty Dancing has a dark subplot about illegal abortion in the middle of a fluffy romance - the writer knew Roe v Wade could be overturned and she wanted to get the message about its importance to a mainstream audience. Great interview with her here: metro.co.uk/2022/11/05/roe-v-wade-dirty-dancing-writer-fought-to-keep-illegal-abortion-17701695/amp/

LifeofBrienne · 01/01/2024 21:35

Actually I shouldn’t have said subplot - it’s a key part of the main plot.