Pictures of niece in hospital all over SM but no idea what's wrong

[IncessantNameChanger]

So bil has posted pics of niece in hospital. She been in for a few days evidently. Lots of what's wrong? Hope she is OK? Posts from family, But nothing to say what is up with her. It's dhs brother kid. I don't feel like engaging over sm and it was serious surely mil or bil would have said? Any way it's up to dh to ask.

A a&e trip I can understand a quick frustrated hand hold FFS type post. But this feels different. She been in for days before posting on FB. Got to ask via SM what's going on? Am I being weird not to ask on SM? Leaving it to dh to ask directly.

This made me laugh! 😂
I have a friend who tags her location on Facebook as in A&E on a fairly regular basis. She never, ever replies to the queries asking if she's ok but yet mysteriously 'likes' all the comments.

I will never understand why people post pictures of their sick children to SM and then act all coy when asked about it.

Wouldn’t even occur to me, if DD was hospitalised I’d be worrying not posting pics of her.

Sorry but this is just attention seeking nonsense on BIL’s part. I hope she’s ok.

I wouldn’t ask on FB purely because I’d feel I was feeding into their attention seeking behaviour. Imagine if it was flipped and it was an elderly relative and someone was posting photos of them on SM, you’d be thinking “what an invasion of privacy” for the elderly person, but with kids people seem happy to post whatever they want about them on SM.

Well yes. If you want a phone call answered in this situation, the grandparents are a much better bet. The parents will be busy in hospital/running about doing things. And before anyone says ‘he had time to post on Facebook’ that’s seconds and can be done at your own convenience, nit like a ph8ne call from someone.

Parents who put post about their children all over social media for attention seeking bullshit and likes are fucking awful parents

Yes this, sick kids especially. And he's posted a photo of her in a hospital bed?

How old is she OP?

Yeah I’d say why, or not bother posting at all. I hate those attention seeking not saying why posts. Tonsillitis can be serious, hope she’s ok

I don't play the game - if its not clear whats going on (no one needs the finest details, but the basic relevant info will do), then I will not play the 'ooh whats up hun' game.

I do sometimes post pics of me in hospital - I do a quick 'im here, its ok, this is whats up, this is when I think ill escape' - because its a good way to inform those who need to know, and saves my DP from having to work out who to contact or fielding calls from people wanting to know whats up.

So not every 'ooh look im in a&e/hospital' is an attention seeking post, sometimes it is practical - but theres no vaguebooking. Vaguebooking should be fucking banned!

I'm with you @feellikeanalien

Although I don't think it's because we're old, maybe more to do with we may think....
"there's a time and a place"

I always think it’s weird when posters have to say just seen this who cares 🤷‍♀️

Poor kid is feeling poorly and vulnerable and their attention seeking parents have plastered it all over Facebook.

Its like when that woman’s baby was in ICU and she did a tik tok dance about it.

The worlds gone mad.

I’d get your husband to drop BIL a message and see what he says. But I wouldn’t reply to the post via social media.

Novel thought - if OP is concerned why can't they phone their DH's DB/SIL/MIL to ask. That's what someone in the real world would do? Only on MN can someone not possibly deal with their in-laws directly.

Why doesn't your husband (or you) call the girl's parents, of even a quick text (if you're not on brilliant terms)? A quick "is everything okay? Saw your pics of xxx on social media".

Weird, reaching out to strangers on mumsnet rather than calling/ringing family to find out.

I have a special face I pull when I see posts on Fakebook along the lines of ‘our poor little soldier spending another night in the insert name of hospital here’ along with a photo of some poor wain looked flushed and tired with a drip going.

Why do people do this!!!

Alternative perspective. Sometimes sharing SM is a quicker & easier way to get to lots of people at once. And rather than asking individuals for help, people who want can then offer. I’d probably do this if I were in hospital, as beyond my OH I’ve no idea which friends would have time/inclination to help. They’ve maybe not responded yet as busy.

I f*ing hate people posting on SM that they’re in hospital. I especially hate people posting pictures of their children sick in hospital/sick in general. It feels like such an invasion of their privacy. Like I spent some time in hospital earlier this year and would have been fuming if anyone posted a picture of me in hospital on social media. Saying that I’m just generally not a fan of plastering pictures of children on the internet.

Agree with others- your husband should call. But don’t ask what’s going on on social media.

People that post pics of their dc in hospital tend to be the kind that like stirring up drama etc for the attention, if you're concerned CALL THEM! I'd be more annoyed at the gross attention seeking and the intrusive pictures of a sick child rather than than feeling out of the loop

I will never understand why on earth people put photos of their unwell child on Facebook. It really does baffle me.

Why?

Surely if you're family the one who finds out first enquires.

Why does it have to be one side or the other?

Op, does your mil have form for under dramatic behaviour. My mil will sometimes say things like "Oh by the way, auntie x is in hospital because her blood pressure is a bit up" and you think that's a bit weird until you find out that auntie x has life threatening high blood pressure.

I have a son who has been in hospital a lot. When he was in nicu I took daily photos and posted them on Facebook with a daily update. Because at a time when I felt like he mostly belonged to the hospital I was desperate for people to ask me how he was, to be able to dress him in the clothes I liked etc etc.

These days, ds is 10 years old and full of questions. He asks me what happens after he goes under anaesthetic. He wants me to take photos of him with all the monitors on him so he can show his friends at school. Those don't go on Facebook though. I also take photos of him playing on the ward which sometimes go on facebook. His siblings like to see a photo of him after an operation as it's visual proof that he is ok so I've got a few of him with a bandage on in the hospital bed with his thumb up to show he is ok. I find a lot of people don't realise what it's like in hospital with a child. In these threads there is always at least one person who says if their child was in hospital they would be focusing on their child not taking photos. But being in hospital is actually mostly boring. Yes, there are times when you are holding the sick bowl for them or wringing your hands while Drs are running around and shouting. But there are usually hours when they are in theatre or asleep or playing and you might need support. In our hospital it's still only one parent allowed to visit and it can get lonely.

I agree, but it’s MN, it’s always the person whose relative it is that has to call or ‘have a word!’…..whereas back in the real world..

Someone on my fb posts every single medical detail about her children. Literally word for word of what drs have said - every check-up, every concern. It's weird af.

I haven't seen her in about 10 years, have never met her children, but I could confidently complete a medical questionnaire for each of them

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