To not take dd to this party tomorrow?

[Reallywhatnow]

Dd has a party tomorrow for friends birthday.

One of the mums of the girls has messaged the WhatsApp group to tell the party host that her dd has been vomiting this evening so may have to miss the party but will hopefully be ok by tomorrow.

Party host has messaged back along the lines of please don't worry hope she's better soon.

The mum has said that her dd is feeling better already so will be there.

Wtaf? Aibu to not take my dd. Last thing we all need is a sickness bug the week before Christmas.

Have they been at school together today had contact or not

No the girl was off school.

I wouldnt want to go

Really selfish. She should keep her kid at home if she's been vomiting yesterday.

I can't believe that people can be so stupid.

The party is in a bit, looks as if the sick child is going.

Really torn as dd was looking forward to it and doesn't want to let the birthday girl down but thinking I should make an excuse rather than risk it.

Oh how inconsiderate of her. No way would I be going / taking my child. I’d probably say the reason why on the what’s app group too. You won’t be the only one thinking it.

Send a WhatsApp message back saying may be best to stay away as she'll likely be infectious still

This is crap for you all. Someone who has been ill and vomiting only hours ago can still be contagious. Everyone is always so fearful of passing and catching viruses before Christmas.

My own dd is here sick as a dog because one child went into school ill and took out the whole class. I hate parents who just think the world revolves around them.

I'd message the host separately and say that you don't want to take the chance, especially with viruses, they spread like wildfire and some kids get over them in a couple of days some much longer. Maybe you could bring your DD somewhere nice.

I'd message the WhatsApp group and say sicky girl really shouldn't be going to the party. Your child is supposed to be 48hrs sick free before they're allowed back to school, so I'm not sure why she doesn't think this applies to mixing with children at a party!

If you sent a message along the lines of "we really don't want a sick bug over Christmas and as [child] was vomiting yesterday I guess she's still contagious, so I think we'll have to give it a miss I'm afraid" I wouldn't be remotely surprised if other people followed up with similar.

The parent of the birthday child is in a difficult position.

Last year at my child’s party a mum dropped their child off, he was so obviously unwell. He sat on the sofa kind of moaning. I kept a close eye on him in 2 minds about whether to call his mum back. He then puked all over my living room. I cleaned it up and called his mum, she said “he does that sometimes” and wouldn’t come and get him. He puked 2 more times.

Next week at school 2 of the kids at the party were off sick and I felt awful. I know it wasn’t my fault but the party was obviously the spreading source!!! Some parents are just awful.

Personally I’d not go and send a private message to the host explaining why.

Wtf is wrong with these people? Seriously?
You wait 48 hours. unless you consider yourself extra special and more important than anyone else. (Not aimed at you OP!)

Had this some years ago when some totally selfish cow and her kids arrived at a play group having been up all night ill but stopped puking so she brought them along. Every single man woman and child at the group caught the most horrendous bug from her. Some people are completely lacking in intelligence. I would not go but I would point out why.

I thought about messaging but feel awkward. I was hoping that the party host would say something but perhaps she feels awkward too or isn't bothered. I don't know.

So annoying that dd has to miss out because of one persons stupidity.

I'd message the host privately and say that sadly you're going to pull out because if X was vomiting yesterday they're still contagious and you don't want bugs. Hopefully the host will see sense.

Absolutely this

The parent of the birthday child is in a difficult position.

I agree. But if it was my child's party I'd have replied to the first message with something like "so sorry to her she isn't well enough to come, we'll arrange something else soon"
And if the parent had replied that maybe the child could still come if feeling better, I'd have been firmer. Bringing a child with a vomiting bug to a party is rude, so I'd have no qualms about putting my foot down.

I'd go with this approach. Everyone else is probably thinking exactly the same as you !

I would send a message saying you won't be coming as you don't want DD to come down with a vomiting bug the week before Christmas.

I read the hosts reply as "don't worry about missing the party" but the mum sounds like a CF that deliberately ignored the subtlety!

Yes I think best thing is to message the host privately and do something else this afternoon with dd.

Think the host was trying to kindly say don't come but the stupid woman can't take a hint.

I think go with this.

Gives the mum the opportunity to gracefully back out.

Then if she doesn't you can still withdraw.

I think it depends on the child tbh. My son rarely vomits, and if he does it means he has a stomach bug and needs to stay home until it has cleared.

He has a friend who vomits at the least provocation though (travel sick, from coughing, every time she eats candy floss, flickering lights, overtired, you name it). In her case it doesn't mean much and I don't worry about being around her. Apart from standing well back.

Do not respond to the group chat as a whole. The parent will think you're judging them.

Message the host directly and bow out.

Could you reply a "oh surprised she's feeling up to becoming so soon, it's normally 48 hours at school isn't it?" Not subtle but probably effective

I'd probably send a message to the host privately (although would be very tempted to do it publicly but probably wouldn't be brave enough). So selfish of this mum to put everyone in an awkward position and a shame for the birthday child too as you possible won't be the only one. Hopefully party mum will take a nudge from your message and be firmer with CF mum.