Page 5 | To not take dd to this party tomorrow?

Reallywhatnow · 2023-12-15T21:40:15+00:00

Dd has a party tomorrow for friends birthday. One of the mums of the girls has messaged the WhatsApp group to tell the party host that her dd has been vomiting this evening so may have to miss the party but will hopefully be ok by tomorrow. Party host has messaged back along the lines of please don't worry hope she's better soon. The mum has said that her dd is feeling better already so will be there. Wtaf? Aibu to not take my dd. Last thing we all need is a sickness bug the week before Christmas.

AnneValentine · 16/12/2023 17:16

We had this exact thing about a kid, I am not having this shit anymore. Watched parents being crap for too long so I sent something along the lines of:

Poor Angelica! I do hope she recovers quick but if you are going can you confirm asap as we won’t be attending. Isolation for vomiting is 48 hours so we won’t come to the party.

The mum actually replied and said it was fine but after an hour of people liking my comment and I assume private messages the host posted that the sick kid wasn’t coming anymore.

Wendysfriend · 16/12/2023 17:26

notahappybunny7 · 16/12/2023 13:15

What the whole class have all got the vomiting bug??? Ok

Show quote history

Why are you being unkind ? Why the "ok" ?

I shouldn't have to explain myself in great detail to stop you overthinking things and making your own assumptions based on your own experience.

My dd attends a Special Needs school for the severely disabled, there's 5 children 3 SNAs and a teacher. It is very possible for a virus to spread through the room.

TheWalkingDeadly · 16/12/2023 18:09

Crisps- true i think i was thinking more of the school rule. As noone needs a kid to go to a party.

Most d&v isnt noro. Otherwise adults would have it too. And likely it would be worse.

We had a boy to dd party he told us he was late as been V. He looked green and wouldnt eat. So not great for him or ideal for other kids. However noone else got sick as he wasnt sick there. And they saw him only a few hours earlier at school.

also in terms of contagion as i understand you can be contagious without symptoms. Another mum said 2/3 of her kids had bever been sick. Well they still would have caught it from sibling etc but no symptoms.

i dont think the party mum was wrong as you can see from Pp people get blamed for confronting people.

Sunnydays41 · 17/12/2023 10:20

TheWalkingDeadly · 16/12/2023 18:09

Crisps- true i think i was thinking more of the school rule. As noone needs a kid to go to a party.

Most d&v isnt noro. Otherwise adults would have it too. And likely it would be worse.

We had a boy to dd party he told us he was late as been V. He looked green and wouldnt eat. So not great for him or ideal for other kids. However noone else got sick as he wasnt sick there. And they saw him only a few hours earlier at school.

also in terms of contagion as i understand you can be contagious without symptoms. Another mum said 2/3 of her kids had bever been sick. Well they still would have caught it from sibling etc but no symptoms.

i dont think the party mum was wrong as you can see from Pp people get blamed for confronting people.

Actually, you are wrong.

ChocolateTVandbaby · 17/12/2023 10:35

That woman is stupid and if it is sickness due to travel or something she should have said so as not to put other people off. Host should have said some tiny. Interested to see what her response is but then someone could have spoken up. May have thought it was not their place if host hasnt said anything.

Perhaps after your message she could have said she's had a few people concerned about Charlotte having a sickness bug and therefore it may be best if she stays home.

sleepyscientist · 17/12/2023 10:51

Christmas is still a week away and if the girl has a virus it's likely in the class anyway.

Personally we aren't a vulnerable house, so I would go to catch it as then your looking at vomiting Monday/Tuesday at latest Wednesday.

If you avoid the party it's likely one of the other kids will bring it into the class if it's not already there even before symptoms start, but that will be later in the week which risks Christmas. We seem to get an aweful cold + sickness bug every year around now so catching them earlier is best as we have nothing significant planned vs Christmas week + early January plans.

Cyclistmumgrandma · 17/12/2023 11:11

More than 30 years later, I still feel guilty about taking my small child to a halloween party. He seemed fine before hand but was really tired and slept through most of the party while his brother had fun. Several days later the chicken pox spots showed up....

Takenobull · 17/12/2023 18:10

Personally I’d be really upfront and just say “I’m really sorry but I don’t want to risk getting a sick bug this close to Christmas so DD won’t be able to make it I’m afraid.”

Cerealkiller4U · 17/12/2023 18:34

alittleprivacy · 16/12/2023 12:26

I had this when DS was 1. Went to a toddler group party where one of the mums brought her DD who had a really nasty d&v bug. A few days later me, DS and my dad and brother all had it. I'm still p'd off about it a decade later as my MIL had been diagnosed with a terminal illness weeks before and died two months after we had the bug. We missed out on two of her last eight weeks of life due to the bug as she would almost certainly have died pretty much immediately if she'd contracted it. I know shit happens and sometimes you just get bugs but to bring a child with a highly contagious illness to group setting is just so nasty.

This. I have a rare disease which means a sickness bug can kill me. Infact it kills more than 87% of us!

people are selfish and they’re stupid.

Cerealkiller4U · 17/12/2023 18:35

sleepyscientist · 17/12/2023 10:51

Christmas is still a week away and if the girl has a virus it's likely in the class anyway.

Personally we aren't a vulnerable house, so I would go to catch it as then your looking at vomiting Monday/Tuesday at latest Wednesday.

If you avoid the party it's likely one of the other kids will bring it into the class if it's not already there even before symptoms start, but that will be later in the week which risks Christmas. We seem to get an aweful cold + sickness bug every year around now so catching them earlier is best as we have nothing significant planned vs Christmas week + early January plans.

I caught what seemed like a virus some 14 days ago

im as sick as I was the first day I caught it so you’re not always going to be sick for a short amount of time.

Icantbedoingwithit · 17/12/2023 19:13

Absolutely no way on earth I would be letting my child go. People are so stupid in regard to vomiting bugs and so very selfish too.

Morgysmum · 17/12/2023 19:37

I wouldn't send her, school say they cannot return until it's 36 hours after the last time they vomited.
As you say, you don't want to run the risk, so close to Christmas and the walk in clinics/ Doctors will be packed.
My son got poorly December 23rd, I spent a couple of hours sat on the floor of the walk in clinic, waiting to see the Doctor.
Noro virus is going around, apparently. So if she has had that, it's very nasty and you don't want that passing through your family near Christmas.

Sadandhurt23 · 17/12/2023 19:38

I wouldn’t go.

someone did this years ago when my son was in year 2. Her son had been vomming all morning and she had the audacity to rock up at a party later that day. I called her out. She was really upset but it’s just totally unacceptable to put others at risk.

Longma · 17/12/2023 19:58

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

Atsocta · 17/12/2023 20:02

Avoid she will be contagious!!!

Bertiesmum3 · 17/12/2023 20:24

SleepingStandingUp · 16/12/2023 11:42

Could you reply a "oh surprised she's feeling up to becoming so soon, it's normally 48 hours at school isn't it?" Not subtle but probably effective

Unfortunately, the mum may message back saying that it’s nothing to do with school, so the 48 hour rule doesn’t apply

NoDought · 17/12/2023 20:49

Send a message linking public health guidelines for when children to re circulate after illness and quote diarrhoea and vomiting being 48 hours along side. ‘Glad to hear she is feeling better, hope it’s been 48 hours after last episodes so no one else gets it in time for Xmas’

Mrsgreen100 · 17/12/2023 20:53

Nope I would not , it would ruin Christmas
and pass around your own family

Dominoeffecter · 17/12/2023 21:04

My sister had us round without telling me that her DD had been vomiting, heavily pregnant me and my toddler both caught it and were incredibly ill, it changed her from a child who’d eat anything into a food refusing emetophobe

LBFseBrom · 17/12/2023 21:12

Why do you assume the child has a 'sickness bug'? People vomit for all sorts of reasons, often it is something they ate that doesn't agree with them so they bring it up and it's over. A 'bug' would surely last longer.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 17/12/2023 21:34

LBFseBrom · 17/12/2023 21:12

Why do you assume the child has a 'sickness bug'? People vomit for all sorts of reasons, often it is something they ate that doesn't agree with them so they bring it up and it's over. A 'bug' would surely last longer.

Have you read all of OP's posts? The child wasn't at school on Friday at all (so was clearly ill in some way in the morning), and was throwing up in the evening. That doesn't sound like something they ate.

carly2803 · 17/12/2023 21:34

honestly ive dealt with these types of people over the years. I once said outright "no you cannot bring your kids with that illness to my kids party".

the host needs to say it outright!

tootiredtoocare · 17/12/2023 21:49

Nope. I'd be messaging the host - it's up to them to say that sickly kid should stay away.

FlipFlop1987 · 19/12/2023 12:32

MamaGhina · 16/12/2023 11:20

The parent of the birthday child is in a difficult position.

Last year at my child’s party a mum dropped their child off, he was so obviously unwell. He sat on the sofa kind of moaning. I kept a close eye on him in 2 minds about whether to call his mum back. He then puked all over my living room. I cleaned it up and called his mum, she said “he does that sometimes” and wouldn’t come and get him. He puked 2 more times.

Next week at school 2 of the kids at the party were off sick and I felt awful. I know it wasn’t my fault but the party was obviously the spreading source!!! Some parents are just awful.

Personally I’d not go and send a private message to the host explaining why.

I’m literally gobsmacked at this, who leaves their child being sick in someone else’s house and lets them clear it all up for them😧

LessonsInPhysics · 19/12/2023 13:27

What happened in the end, OP?